Originally Posted by earthmama4
You would never know by looking at him that we have been through all this. He is a sweet, well-spoken, funny, and kind-hearted kid, but when he cycles its hell. I wish I could say meds work great, but I am not convinced. He is worse without them, but they definitely don't make him "all better".
Sometimes that's the hardest part - seeing the sweet, genuine kid get trampled, KWIM? Carter can be just the sweetest, most loving little boy sometimes, and then BAM!, all hell breaks loose. Or maybe we see the self-loathing side of the illness, which is the worst part of it by far. And then I just weep for the REAL person who I know is suffering under all of it.
I understand exactly why you sent your DS to live with his father. We get that "If you'd just discipline him..." business pretty often. Sometimes people just need to experience it for themselves. We're visiting my ILs ATM and they've had an eye-opening experience! They've witnessed 3 episodes plus generalized anxiety over the past few days and they're finally seeing that this isn't about me and DH indulging Carter or just letting him do what he wants.
We're a blended family; I have a 15 and a 13 year old who now live mostly with their father because life with Carter has gotten so hard. DH's 12 year old hasn't changed his schedule yet, but he keeps considering it. It absolutely kills us to let them go, but we feel like we have to let them go where life is more normal.
And meds? They make things better, but not normal. They make Carter more stable, a little calmer, but they can't make him feel comfortable. His therapist is a wonder, a generous and intelligent man who wants very badly to help, and that's a blessing. I won't lie; this disease scares the hell out of me.