Age-appropriate expectations for chores? - Page 2

[rosebuds]

That's all well and good, I applaud you mom's who have children who do all their chores!!! Wow.

My dd's are 9 and 7 and they refuse to help around the house. I have to force them to do the very basic of chores. DD who is 9 y/o will make her bed every morning, put her dirty clothes in the hamper and bring dishes from the table to the sink with reminders but anything on top of that is a struggle. She is expected to put clean clothes away, pick up after herself, clean her room thouroughly once a week and help me with stuff as needed but all those things require me to beg her, or stay on top of her the entire time she is doing it. I find it very frustrating as I would like her to soon be helping with more like washing dishes and heavier cleaning projects (vacuuming, bathrooms, etc.) but I don't have the energy to get her to do it. She has a friend the same age that comes over and I can see how eager the friend is to do things...help with cooking, wiping down the table, setting the table all without even being asked.

Is it a difference of personality or am I lacking the right motivational tools - what is it???

[MittensKittens]

I try and involve my kids in chores as soon as they can walk, but in a positive way. When I was a kid, I was made to do things like do dishes now and then, clean the bathroom once in a while and pick up after myself. When I spilled a drink, I had to clean it up. However, my mom never showed me how these things can be done properly, and was always complaining I was doing things too slow, not good enough, etc. The house was often a mess, and when I left home I still didn't know how to run a household effectively.

Personally, I think kids doing chores is a normal, wonderful thing, as long as the goal is not the parents doing nothing, but rather the learning process itself. I definitely want my kids to be able to take care of themselves as soon as possible - not because I actually expect them to do so, but because these are basic lifeskills nobody should be without.

[Nim]

Personally, I think kids doing chores is a normal, wonderful thing, as long as the goal is not the parents doing nothing, but rather the learning process itself. I definitely want my kids to be able to take care of themselves as soon as possible - not because I actually expect them to do so, but because these are basic lifeskills nobody should be without.

We think its a good idea to involve them early too - of course in a positive way.
When they are so young, it's just exciting to be 'helping mommy'. We encourage that helping spirit and always stay positive and joyful in cleaning.
DD used to freak out when a drink spilled or something made a huge mess.
But instead of cursing/complaining or freaking out myself- even if a glass shattered or liquid/food spilled all over my clothes or the rug- I just say matter of factly "Oops! we better clean this up!" and just get to it right away and encourage DD to help. If it was her accident I'm specifically cheerful about it and tell her not to worry and even mommy spills sometimes and we clean it up together.
I hope to raise her and DS as joyful workers in whatever they do.