4 Yr old "switches" personalities

[Mom_2_2]

My 4 yr old appears to "switch" on / off her good, obedient and absolutely adorable persona to turn into a proper little scoundrel... shouting, hitting (her 6 yr old sister, her dad, me, the dogs - today at pre-primary school her teacher (!) - and even herself). Once she has "switched" she does not respond to any requests and will continue to ignore you, and be stubborn and sulk. Sometimes during this time she will shriek - unprovoked - at high pitch, and I fear for the windows!!

Yet, within 15 to 45 minutes she will generally "switch" back. This behaviour happens at least daily, and sometimes even more than once a day! She can even wake up in her "bad girl mood"...

Now it makes me feel as if I hear voices in my head... does anybody have any suggestions on how to deal with this behaviour?

[Grace and Granola]

My 4 year old is like that, but he's been that way for a good long time. I don't have any advice, because I haven't found one thing that makes the difference. I just always keep him well rested and well fed. My ds is a perfectionist and if someone tells him something that isn't right, he can go through the roof. Especially when the 2yo taunts him by say, telling him that an apple is a banana, and 4yo tries to convince 2yo that it's an apple and they go back and forth until 4yo loses his mind over it. Stuff like that I have little control over. I'm hoping he will grow up to be the super sweet and helpful self that dwells within him!

[beebalmmama]

We're dealing with the same thing with our four year old ds. I don't have any advice because nothing we have tried seems to be working. Doesn't seem to matter if he's had enough sleep, food, less sugar, enough attention, etc. He is just on his own time frame and does everything when and how he likes it. Any suggestion or persuasion otherwise ends up in a huge tantrum/fight with him trying to hit us or yelling at us.

Currently we just dropped our plans to go out to a scenic trail area for "family time" because he wouldn't get ready or let us help him get ready. And of course letting him know he's now affected our plans and we're not going sends him into a fit.

Aaaaagghhhh!! I don't know how to deal either. It doesn't help any that I am pg and just don't have the patience for this behavior half the time.

Sorry I have not advice but I feel your frustration!

[Mom_2_2]

Hoping the "switch" breaks when she turns 5 in 3 mths...

Thank you for sharing your similar experiences - just knowing that I am not alone in this perpetual struggle makes it a bit easier... and I fully agree to keeping them well-rested, and well-fed does make a difference.

We live close to a game farm (100m from the fence, to be exact) and she wanted to see the buck, but refused to walk! So her Dad carried her... which is not helping, of course!

Here's to hoping that when she turns 5 early in December, the "switch" may just break - as my bigger concern is that she is going to Grade R (local equivalent to US Kindergarten) in January, and might not be emotionally on par to progress to primary school...

[Grace and Granola]

I dont know if your dd has been to preschool or something like it, but my intense and emotional ds is so different at school. At home he talks non-stop and at school he is very quiet. He participates, he follows directions and he seems to like it there. He started last year at age 3 and is going this year too. He has NEVER had a problem at school. I hope that is the case for your dd as well!