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I went OFF on a lady at Sam's Club yesterday - Page 8

post #141 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post
I'm just not feeling it. Mama bear yes, but not this way. We'll just have to agree to disagree. I agree with a lot of your posts, this is a very rare exception!

I just don't find menacing a person who is menacing you (unless it's literally a physical menacing attack and you're defending yourself from imminent physical harm or repeated verbal assault of someone you interact with daily) to be something I applaud. Verbal attacks like this suck, and I think responses are appropriate, just not responses in kind.
I think it was appropriate because too many people (especially older people) think spanking is the answer to everything with children. Hopefully this lady might have her eyes opened to the fact that not all people accept the idea of spanking. I've been in stores and seen mothers literally slap, yank or spank their child over and over throughout a store for doing nothing but whining a little or asking for something they can't have. This woman obviously thought that spanking was the answer "just" because this was a small child and all adults should have complete physical control over small children. That's how I was raised anyway, and it's wrong. I think it's good that she confronted the woman.
post #142 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
OT: re: the horn thing. I've only been driving for a few years, and I've only used my horn once. Since it's come up, I'll ask if you all think it was an acceptable use of the horn or not. I was waiting behind one car at a red light. The woman in front of me was putting on some kind of eye makeup (I'm still boggled by the things people do behind the wheel...but at least she was at a red light!). The light changed to green, and I waited about 5-10 seconds, but she hadn't looked up, so I hit my horn. I didn't want to sit through another whole light change. It wasn't an emergency, but it also wasn't just voicing irritation. So...what's your take on that? It felt weird, as I'd never actually used my horn before.
Appropriate. You were alerting her to her surroundings which is what the horn is for.
post #143 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post
I'm just not understanding why this is an ok example for your kid on how to handle a situation with a rude person.
Because a melting-down 3 y.o. isn't going to be picking up on what happened anyway and you can always explain that both of the adults were wrong later. In fact, you could have a good learning experience by talking about what you should've said to the rude person and having your LO help you practice better responses.
post #144 of 198
My aunt was always outspokenly rude - just like the woman in the OP's post...because people let her be that way. She said whatever she wanted to whomever she wanted because no one ever said anything in reply. Finally, family members started speaking up and replying in some not so nice ways, and she finally got the hint and backed off.

So, yeah, sometimes, people say those nasty things just because they think they can. And not every moment has Tobe a teachable moment. There will be plenty of teachable moments coming 'round, yanno.

That being said...

This whole deal with the OP advocating violent behavior is a little too much for me. The OP gave a quick retort in reply to a spanking comment. I highly doubt that all of the wonderful moral lessons learned by her DS are suddenly going to be all unraveled by this one sentence. Please. Again, not every moment needs to be a teachable moment, for the OP's son OR for that rude lady.
post #145 of 198
i am so glad you said something!!! i always chicken out....

maybe your response could have been a little more approriate, but in the moment, i can completely understand your feelings....and sometimes people do need a little bit of a reality check, rude or not....
post #146 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by prettypixels View Post
Because this old lady took a nasty pot shot at a mama who was having a rough moment, that's why. This mom was wrestling her upset 3 year old while figuring out how to deal with this unwelcome comment to HIT her CHILD. No, it's not the same, and I think that this old lady is lucky she ran into the OP. My words probably would not have been this kind. If you are seeking kindness in your life, perhaps you shouldn't run around suggesting people hit defenseless little children.
That may explain the reason, but it certainly doesn't warrant the obvious pleasure the OP got from saying it nor does it warrant all the praise...
post #147 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by zebrachick83 View Post
sometimes people do need a little bit of a reality check, rude or not....
I imagine this is what the woman who told the OP to smack her kid thought, as well - that the OP needed a reality check (about her kid), rude or not (which I obviously disagree with, I think the woman had no business saying that to the OP at ALL). It's just a no-win cycle in my mind, which is why I will keep standing by calm, confident, short responses instead of rudeness replying to rudeness.
post #148 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by laila2 View Post
I love it that you showed your son how to appropriately treat people like that
Remind me to stay away from your kids...
post #149 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post
I imagine this is what the woman who told the OP to smack her kid thought, as well - that the OP needed a reality check (about her kid), rude or not (which I obviously disagree with, I think the woman had no business saying that to the OP at ALL). It's just a no-win cycle in my mind, which is why I will keep standing by calm, confident, short responses instead of rudeness replying to rudeness.
I agree...eye for an eye makes the world blind, two wrongs don't make a right...
post #150 of 198
The4OfUs, I have really enjoyed what you have to say in this thread. Thank you for sharing it.
post #151 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zenful View Post
Remind me to stay away from your kids...
Whoa!

I thought you were arguing AGAINST rudeness?!
post #152 of 198
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by baltic_ballet View Post
But yelling "you need your butt spanked" won't make her change her mind either.

You've got to remember that your not going to be able change everybody opinion so why should you make yourself look a crazy person when it may not make a difference?
I never said that it would make her change her mind. I was asking a question about what *would* have changed her mind, and you immediately jumped back to how wrong I was in the encounter.

'm not understanding the fierce need from several particular posters to keep telling me over and over how wrong I was. Umm, didn't *I* say that I knew I had been rude?
post #153 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by operamommy View Post
'm not understanding the fierce need from several particular posters to keep telling me over and over how wrong I was. Umm, didn't *I* say that I knew I had been rude?
I don't think anyone is trying to hit you, personally, over the head with "how wrong you were" so much as some people find the number of people who will say this was the exactly right and perfect thing to do, even in hindsight, a bit confounding.
post #154 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zenful View Post
Remind me to stay away from your kids...
Well, yeah, if you're gonna be saying they need their butts smacked -- then I'll remind you right now to stay away from MY kids, too!
post #155 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
I don't think anyone is trying to hit you, personally, over the head with "how wrong you were" so much as some people find the number of people who will say this was the exactly right and perfect thing to do, even in hindsight, a bit confounding.
Yes, this. OP, I wrote in a previous post I'm bothered by the support/praise that this was the "perfect" (at least one person ahs used perfect and/or best) thing to say to that rude woman, than I am by you losing it. Everyone loses it. I lose it. I'm not always graceful when stressed...I don't think you're a horrible person. I'm basically responding to other posters who are not stressed right now, who are reflecting on the situation with a calm mind and still think that it was great.
post #156 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thisbirdwillfly View Post
The4OfUs, I have really enjoyed what you have to say in this thread. Thank you for sharing it.
thanks!
post #157 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Storm Bride View Post
OT: re: the horn thing. I've only been driving for a few years, and I've only used my horn once. Since it's come up, I'll ask if you all think it was an acceptable use of the horn or not. I was waiting behind one car at a red light. The woman in front of me was putting on some kind of eye makeup (I'm still boggled by the things people do behind the wheel...but at least she was at a red light!). The light changed to green, and I waited about 5-10 seconds, but she hadn't looked up, so I hit my horn. I didn't want to sit through another whole light change. It wasn't an emergency, but it also wasn't just voicing irritation. So...what's your take on that? It felt weird, as I'd never actually used my horn before.
Since you ask, and since I'm in the camp of normally using the horn for communicating with the unobservant driver, to prevent an accident, I will answer. I think honking in that case is appropriate. You're not endangering anyone since you are all at a standstill behind this person. You are using the horn as a form of communicating with the unobservant driver. You're not using it as a form of hornicular swearing accompanied with the finger. Totally different in my opinion.
post #158 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by Equuskia View Post
At ten to closing and with a kid melting down? I think the OP did the best she could without ripping the woman a new one. And hell, if the woman was actually brassy enough to repeat what she said, well.....what did she expect? A smile? I wouldn't have been very kind either. Hindsight is always 20/20.
HECK, yeah.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zenful View Post
That may explain the reason, but it certainly doesn't warrant the obvious pleasure the OP got from saying it nor does it warrant all the praise...
Pleasure? She stood up for herself and for her child Praise? I am happy that she stood up for herself and for her child. Very happy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zenful View Post
Remind me to stay away from your kids...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zenful View Post
I agree...eye for an eye makes the world blind, two wrongs don't make a right...
I see a contradiction in your posts. Do as you say and not as you do?
post #159 of 198
Quote:
Originally Posted by KirstenMary View Post
I see a contradiction in your posts. Do as you say and not as you do?
Please explain what you mean...this could be interpreted in a few different ways.
post #160 of 198
In one post, you imply not to be rude, yes? Yet your next post is less than nice. It kind of reminds me of my friend who postulates that we must be kind and compassionate to everyone and everything, yet she relishes smooshing bugs every chance she gets.
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