I think you were just as rude as her, and you did it in front of your child. If you don't believe that hitting is appropriate for your child, then why in heaven's name would it be appropriate to hit an elderly woman?
I would of just rolled my eyes at her, and then calmly explained to my child that we would never do that, as I don't hit people--young or old.
I cannot for the life of me figure out why everyone here thinks you did the right thing.
I am certainly not perfect and have lost my cool at times, but I always feel appropriately chagrined after the fact--and will even tell my kids "momma should not have said that...".
I have to agree with this. Many ways to address this situation without being inflammatory.....for example:
Once, an old man made a snide remark about my son (autism) who was having a meltdown and who we were trying to get out of the store as fast as we could. I told DH to take the kids on to the car. I told that older man. "My son has a developmental disorder called Autism. Sometimes, he is unable to express himself in an age-apprpropriate manner. He is not doing this to bother you on purpose." He said, " If that were my kid, I would spank his butt." I told him, "Yes, and if I did, you would be the first to call DCF on me. Maybe you should learn more about developmental disorders before you spout off your mouth next time. Good day." And then I left.
Takin up for yourself is not rude. Being older does not mean that others have to let you run your mouth and be nasty.
I'm not sure what I would have done, but there are a lot of options between
"turn the other cheek/walk away and let the rude person "get away with it" "
"get in their face and give it back to them".
How would I want my kids to respond in a situation like this? I defintely don't want them getting in someone's face, especially if the person is no real physical threat to them and is only beign verbally rude. I'd want my kid to walk away, or make a calm, confident statement and walk away - not get in the person's face.
OP, I saw you said you were leaving the thread, but anyway - I've been where you are - my daughter can be QUITE vocal and physican when she's emotionally/physically spent,and I've gotten the looks - I haven't heard anyone say anything to me, but I'm sure people have commented. I just don't see the value in dishing back at rude people....if anything, you gave her even MORE ammunition to go tell her friends, "and then the mom got in my face and YELLED at me! She was probably never spanked either, that's what's so wrong with families, blah blah blah....." I'm sorry you were having a rough time and your kiddo was too; the woman was COMPLETELY out of line.
It's not about being better than someone, or letting people 'get away with' anything; to me, it's about thinking about how I'd want my kids to act in a situation, and acting that way. I am all for standing up for yourself and your family, but not in this particular manner.