I wasn't expecting these questions yet......

[liliaceae]

Two conversations I had with DS (almost 3 y/o) this morning:


DS: Where did my baby sister come from?

Me: She came from my belly.

DS: Why did she come from your belly?

Me: Because babies come from their mommies bellies.

DS: How do babies get in your belly?

Me: Uhhhhhhh...........


And about an hour later:


DS: I'm going to squash this ant.

Me: No, don't squash the ant. If you do that, you'll kill him.

DS: Then he'll be sad and cry?

Me: No, if you squash him you'll break his body and he'll die. He won't be able to cry because his body won't work anymore.

DS: How do bodies work?

Me: Ummm, well, you breathe air and eat food and drink water to give your body energy to make it work.


So I was not expecting the "where do babies come from" questions yet, and I had no idea what to say (although in my defense I had just woken up). I'm fine with telling DS the truth about sex, but I want to keep it as simple as possible, and not volunteer too much information. What would you have said?

The "how do bodies work" one is easier (well, sort of), but I think I gave a pretty lame answer. Does anyone know of any books geared toward young children that explain stuff like that?

[Ruthla]

At that age, I answered #1 with "Because G-d put the baby there." I don't think I went into more details (egg/sperm) until closer to age 5.

[Redheaded_Momma]

My almost 3 year old asked the "how do babies get in Mommas bellies" question already too. I went ahead with the egg/sperm answer. That seemed to be enough info for him.

[Cujobunny]

It's Not the Stork

And I fully support being as scientifically honest as you can when answering questions! There's nothing wrong with discussing sperm and everything else, IMO. Oh, except for the fact that it may come up in the grocery store line....

[Thisbirdwillfly]

I asked my son what he thought before I would answer those types of questions. It gave me good insight into where he was coming from and what kind of answer he was looking for plus it was always so interesting to hear his replies.

[liliaceae]

Originally Posted by Redheaded_Momma

My almost 3 year old asked the "how do babies get in Mommas bellies" question already too. I went ahead with the egg/sperm answer. That seemed to be enough info for him.

Did he ask where sperm comes from? That's what I'm afraid of.

Originally Posted by Thisbirdwillfly

I asked my son what he thought before I would answer those types of questions. It gave me good insight into where he was coming from and what kind of answer he was looking for plus it was always so interesting to hear his replies.

Great idea!

[liliaceae]

Originally Posted by Cujobunny

It's Not the Stork

And I fully support being as scientifically honest as you can when answering questions! There's nothing wrong with discussing sperm and everything else, IMO. Oh, except for the fact that it may come up in the grocery store line....

Thanks for the link! I wonder if my library has that book.

[Katwoman]

A family with one biological and one adopted child. The 6 yo bc ask his Dad why he looks like his Dad's but his sister does not. Dad explains that 6 yo has the Dad's DNA and the sisters don't. Oh, okay.

Next day 6 you asks how did you DNA get into Mommy's tummy.

(Ever wonder why straightforward, honest, but not offering too much can get us in to so much trouble????)

Oh, and since Dad ducked the conversation, Mom got the question. At the library, in the middle of an exhibit.

[Mrs.Burke]

dd is almost 3 and she loves watching tv but she oftentimes gets too close i'm afraid her eyes would strain and have permanent damage and so i told her not to get too close, keep a distance so she won't hurt her eyes and get blind.

on a public bus she was telling me on a very loud voice about 'she hurt her eyes?' and i thought she was referring to our conversation 2 days ago so i said absentmindedly ' yes, you'd hurt your eyes if you do that'. but she added ' she hurt her eyes, now it's damaged so now she's blind'. i got so curious w/ her serious tone and so i looked at the direction she's looking and was horrified to see she was referring to a one-eyed old lady, i almost fainted. i wasn't able to find words for sometime.

[ChetMC]

Answering

I always try to respond with as much information as is age appropriate. The questions only get harder to answer. Kids expect more in depth detail as they get older. In a lot of ways, it's easier to have these talks with a 3 year old than a 5 or 7 year old.

The answer that a 3 year old will typically accept might seem like a lot to be sharing with a child that age, but when they ask again at 4 or 6 you'll be glad that you've already started the dialog and they already know something about death, conception or racial issues, religion or whatever tough topic has come up this time.

I totally agree about asking the child what they think too. It totally helps to know where the child is coming from to be sure you answer what they're really wondering about.

I'm also a believer in the "least answerable unit." I answer the question as concisely as I can. If that leads to more questions that's fine, we'll answer those too. However, addressing each question in a brief, to-the-point sort of way means that you don't overload a young child with a lot of information to process at once, and it leaves the child free to direct the conversation. Their line of questioning will take things in the direction that's relevant to them.

[VisionaryMom]

Originally Posted by liliaceae

Did he ask where sperm comes from? That's what I'm afraid of.

If you don't want to go down this road, you can start with "part of Mommy" and "part of Daddy" combine to create a new person - you. Of course that doesn't answer questions about a lot of types of families, but if it works for yours then I think it's fine.

[Shera971]

I've been getting a lot of the whys and howcomes too and DS is 4. I've been out of school so long that I can feel my brain's rusty wheels turning as I try to remember how rainbows really work, why tree leaves are green etc. LOL Sometimes I'll just say, "you know what? I don't know. Lets go look it up together".

Here's how my baby questions went w/ DS when he was 3 1/2

him: "I used to be in your belly right?"
me:"yes"
him: "How did I come out?"
me: "through my vagina"
him: "where is your vagina"
me: "here" (I'm pointing in the general area)
him: "Can I see?
me: hysterical laughter "um, maybe later"

[MammaG]

My two sone, ages 5 and 3.5 are going to be present (if they are awake and they choose to do so) at the upcoming homebirth of their sibling. We've been talking lots about birth just to prepare them.

Here's my favourite comment from my 3.5yo: "Mamma, there's a baby in my tummy, too". Pause. "Mamma, my baby is going to come out of my mouth because babies don't come out of penises".

DH muttered "Thank God for THAT wisdom" and we almost died laughing. I haven't corrected DS, largely because he does have the complete vocabulary for what does what during birth......I'll wait a bit for him to sort it all out and ask some questions and then we'll see where we are!

[KristaDJ]

I answer what questions come and I answer them honestly and simply.
"Where do babies come from?"
"A mommies' belly"
"How do they get there?"
"A daddy puts sperm in the mommy. The sperm finds the mommy's egg and it grows into a baby."
At three the questions usually stop there and their curiosity is satisfied but if they ask more I tell them more. I believe an honest question deserves an honest answer and children will, most of the time, ask what they need to know. I think you handled it just perfect

[pixiekisses]

Originally Posted by Cujobunny

It's Not the Stork

And I fully support being as scientifically honest as you can when answering questions! There's nothing wrong with discussing sperm and everything else, IMO. Oh, except for the fact that it may come up in the grocery store line....

Indeed. We have that book. And bc of siblings etc. all mine have known just how babies gets inside bellys since 2-3 yo.
When they ask, the get a honest, apropriate answer.
We start with the "sperm from dad, egg from mom makes a baby", but they've all asked how that's possible too, so there ya go, the whole penis in vagina explanation needed. But it's been perfectly fine, not a problem at all.

[txbikegrrl]

Originally Posted by MammaG

My two sone, ages 5 and 3.5 are going to be present (if they are awake and they choose to do so) at the upcoming homebirth of their sibling. We've been talking lots about birth just to prepare them.

Here's my favourite comment from my 3.5yo: "Mamma, there's a baby in my tummy, too". Pause. "Mamma, my baby is going to come out of my mouth because babies don't come out of penises".

DH muttered "Thank God for THAT wisdom" and we almost died laughing. I haven't corrected DS, largely because he does have the complete vocabulary for what does what during birth......I'll wait a bit for him to sort it all out and ask some questions and then we'll see where we are!

ROTFL!!! I just snort-laughed and almost choked it was so funny (and cute) to me!

I'd love to hear what he says after witnessing the birth...

[TiredX2]

We gave DD the basics before DS was born (she was there, she was 2.5).

I'm surprised so many MDC Momma's use the terms "belly" and "tummy" for where a baby comes from