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withrawl as birth control.. - Page 2

post #21 of 55
10/3/09 at 3:58am
I'm pregnant right now but we will be using the withdrawal method in between this baby and TTC again. Our take on it is that we want a few children; if withdrawal fails us then we won't be too upset. We would like to space them out a little but what's meant to be will be. I'll be BFing after this LO is born, so I'm counting on a period of lactation amenorrhea, however long it may be.

I'm allergic to latex so condoms are out (he hates them anyways). Hormonal birth control of any sort is out because we went through heck TTC and trying to get my cycles regulated post-BCP. Hormonal BC also kills my sex drive. IUDs scare me because they have been so often associated with infection. We used FAM while TTC but using it to TTA would be pointless because the only thing different we would do during fertile times is pull out. When we truly do not want anymore children, he's going to get snipped.

DH has no problem with satisfaction when pulling out. TMI: He actually prefers getting it all over me. He has a little porn star in him!
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post #22 of 55
10/3/09 at 4:08am
We tried FAM for a bit too. But, we're a high sex drive couple - like everyday, lol. And it just got too unenjoyable for us to make sure we weren't have intercourse on the fertile period. Really, the whole thing stressed us out as we were hardcore about not wanting to get pregnant.

Likewise, we were WAY too paranoid about the pull out method. I couldn't enjoy myself as I just kept thinking "what if this is the one time he loses control and doesn't pull out in time?"

But, again, at the time, we were hardcore about not wanting a child. So, I got the copper IUD, and we used lambskin condoms. As I said - hardcore about not wanting a child, lol.

After this baby, dp is getting a vasectomy.

I think the pull out method is fine if you're OK with a potential loss of control, and if you're OK with putting 100% of the control in your partner's ability to pull out in time. I couldn't do that, personally. I trust my dp in all things, but not this!
post #23 of 55
10/3/09 at 4:21am
It has worked here for 14 years.

I think it really depends on the man, and how well he knows and responds to his body signals.

I only use FAM when we *want* a baby.
post #24 of 55
10/6/09 at 4:06pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by terrabella View Post
It has worked here for 14 years.

I think it really depends on the man, and how well he knows and responds to his body signals.

I only use FAM when we *want* a baby.

This is true for us too (except the 14 years part - wow!). We've been together 6 years, and both of us prefer me not to be on bc. If it's less satisfying for my husband, he's never complained. It was his idea in the first place, because he hates condoms.
post #25 of 55
10/7/09 at 1:31am
No way....have had two pregnancies from the withdrawl method
post #26 of 55
10/8/09 at 6:12am
Quote:
Originally Posted by To-Fu View Post
The withdrawal method can be up to 97% effective with perfect use, so it's definitely a fine choice in birth control. It is much maligned in our culture, given that sex educators probably don't want to give inexperienced teenagers the idea that withdrawal is a good first choice.

If you don't want to get pregnant - honest - choose another method! My first son was concieved using withdrawal. My ex was very consistent in withdrawing - we had no accidents. Yet my son was concieved within 4 months of me stopping the pill. So no - I would NOT recommend withdrawal if you don't want to get pg. Also I imagine it must be quite frustrating for him to stop just before the big moment..

Right now I use a silicone diaphragm - when I know I am fertile/around ovulation I use it with spermicide - when I am not ovulating I only use the diaphragm -no spermicide. So far it has worked very well. I get to feel him - skin to skin - and he says he doesnt feel it even though it is rather big. After I got used to inserting it it really is quite fast and easy. I can insert it in less than a minute - including putting the spermicide on etc. Even if we get to it spontaniously it isn't much of a break to stop and put it in.
post #27 of 55
10/9/09 at 5:32pm
My "withdrawal" baby is 16 years old now.
post #28 of 55
10/9/09 at 5:55pm

Just wondering

Those of you who got pregnant using the withdrawal method, did your partners fail to withdraw or were they successful?
post #29 of 55
10/9/09 at 6:05pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by kirstenb View Post
We've used it for 4 years and never got pregnant until we tried to.
This was us too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ZoraP View Post
Can I ask a personal question (of you impersonal people out there)? I believe in the effectiveness of withdrawal, but isn't it kind of dissatisfying for the guy? (Maybe no more than a condom is, I suppose, but still...)
Without going into detail... I don't think so. DH always seems to enjoy himself
post #30 of 55
10/10/09 at 1:38am
Uh, I am so confused about how this works for so long for so many, please explain
post #31 of 55
10/10/09 at 11:37pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by peggyitaly View Post
Those of you who got pregnant using the withdrawal method, did your partners fail to withdraw or were they successful?
Dh was successful...it just didn't work for us. That said, we are still using it.
I actually don't like it at all. It's great because I really can't stand birth control, but seriously every month I think I'm pregnant now! Stressful.
post #32 of 55
10/11/09 at 12:02am
Quote:
Originally Posted by peggyitaly View Post
Those of you who got pregnant using the withdrawal method, did your partners fail to withdraw or were they successful?
My dh didn't even try to withdraw. I don't know if he didn't realize I was fertile or if, in the moment, he didn't care. I probably wouldn't use withdrawal if I absolutely did not want to get pg.

I agree with the person who said it's only for men who are very experienced, in tune with their bodies and have great self-control. The failure rate is only 1% lower than that of condoms when done properly. As with any other bc, it's only as effective as the users. Abstinence only works if you abstain.
post #33 of 55
10/13/09 at 12:12am
6 years and counting....

Avoid around and after "O" if you are adamant about not getting pregnant.
post #34 of 55
10/14/09 at 3:58pm
withdrawal worked for us for many years - somewhere between 5-10 years we used it successfully. I got pregnant very quickly (within 2 mos) each time we stopped withdrawal.

DH is extremely self-disciplined and probably withdraws a bit early - doesn't cut it too close. I suppose that makes a difference.
post #35 of 55
10/14/09 at 4:40pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by kathymuggle View Post
Avoid around and after "O" if you are adamant about not getting pregnant.
There was something about this that was confusing me and I finally figured out what it was. This would be abstinence not withdrawal.
post #36 of 55
10/14/09 at 4:44pm
Five years here, until we decided to TTC. DH totally prefers to a condom, and no way no how am I using hormonal BC.
post #37 of 55
10/14/09 at 4:56pm
Edited just because
post #38 of 55
10/14/09 at 5:36pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommajb View Post
I am so surprised it works for so many... I was taught that "sex is like basketball and he dribbles a little before he shoots" or something like that.
Recent research has shown this to be a myth. There isn't any viable sperm in pre-ejaculate. The only time there is viable sperm in pre-ejaculate is if you dtd more than once close together and the male doesn't urinate in between.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mommajb View Post
Another bit of info that may be wrong... If you are irritated by latex condoms and not all latex it could be the spermicide that causes the problem. I don't know if condoms w/o spermicide are available, I am just putting the thought out there.
There are condoms without spermicide. There are also non-latex condoms. We don't use condoms because I can't stand the way they feel. It doesn't matter which kind it is.

I just looked it up again. According to my fertility book, Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler, withdrawal only has a 1% higher method failure rate than condoms (without spermicide), 4% and 3%, respectively. There is a larger difference in user failure rate, 14% for condoms and 19% for withdrawal. That's still not much higher risk, imo, only 5% higher. Withdrawal is more effective than a diaphragm, sponge, cervical cap with spermicide, and spermicides alone.
post #39 of 55
10/15/09 at 10:53am
Quote:
Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post
Recent research has shown this to be a myth. There isn't any viable sperm in pre-ejaculate. The only time there is viable sperm in pre-ejaculate is if you dtd more than once close together and the male doesn't urinate in between.
This. The odds of getting pg from pre-ejaculate are incredibly slim (lol, my DH did the research because he's nerdy like that!)
post #40 of 55
10/15/09 at 3:45pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by AFWife View Post
This. The odds of getting pg from pre-ejaculate are incredibly slim (lol, my DH did the research because he's nerdy like that!)
guess I'm a nerd too- cause I spent hours researching coitus interruptus and spermatozoa

(from what I read, the chances of actually conceiving from withdrawl are very unlikely- almost impossible.. comparable to the chance of becoming pregnant after a vasectomy )
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