Originally Posted by Seasons
You should apologize when your choices (here, not to follow school rules) negatively affect other people:
+ teachers who are interrupted
+ other students who are interrupted
+ your own kid/s whose learning AND lifelong ability to be prompt (which is required for job interviews, college placement tests, job attendence...) is voided
Seasons, I've known very few situations in which that's actually been a problem. Seriously. I have no trouble getting jobs, taking tests (and doing well on them), staying employed, keeping friendships. Yes, there are people for whom it's a very big deal, and who get bent out of shape if you're three minutes late for coffee or work. I tend not to befriend them or work for them.
Why? Because I have enough stressors in my life. I don't also need to fear the minute hand daily. And because punctuality's so seldom important, unless you live in Germany, Switzerland, or Scandinavia, where people are slightly pathological about time. (And why not? They invented precision time, did they not? My ex and I got to his brother's wedding at the stroke of two; advertised time for wedding, 2 pm. The bride's family is very German indeed. We got there just as the bride had set off down the runway. Ve ved at zwei! We slipped in and sat down laughing quietly about what else she'd got scheduled for his brother.)
As for the school day...hey, if they want to start at that crazy time of the day, and zoom around in minivans to get there, regardless of how obese they're getting, that's their business. The law says I have to send the kid to school or homeschool, and I'm no homeschooler. So? OK, the kid will be at school more or less on time. Not so late that we'll have the guidance counselor and vice-principal on my back, but also not so desperately punctual that I lose sleep, she bolts breakfast, or we hurry past broken robin eggs. Besides, I've seen dd to her classroom door, and frankly nobody so much as looks up when she goes in. If I go in with her, it causes a stir because the kids are curious. Come to think of it, though, parents are invited to drop by whenever, even unannounced, so it can't be that much of an issue.
If you want to hear more craziness: Sometimes I ignore the homework the teacher's sent home with dd. Why? Well, she's still quite young, and she's well ahead of the curriculum anyway. Also, there are sometimes things I think are more important to teach. Last night, for instance, it was a choice between reading (homework) and practicing violin (not homework). DD already reads pretty well, but violin is a struggle for her, and she gets frustrated and makes a lot of excuses. It's important, I think, to learn how to persevere, calm yourself, handle frustration, & do the task at hand. So -- violin it was. If the teacher has a problem with it, she can talk to me; but that doesn't mean that her educational goals for dd will trump mine. I doubt it will lead to anything more than irritation on the school's part.
I guess what I'm saying is that it's important to find out where the tolerances are, and if you need or want that sort of leeway, you have to look for it and respect the tradeoffs. But so long as you're not behaving in some destructive manner, I don't think there's any need to apologize for living as you do.