Originally Posted by Seie
How do you suggest he finance a case then? When you are out of options to lend money and you are bancrupt? A robbery? Selling drugs? Win the lottery? Sure on paper he still had the option to keep up, but in the real world I fail to see those options. And even if he did keep it up then according to his lawyer she would still be able to keep him from seeing his kids.
About showing up at the house she would likely call the police on him and say he is stalking her - something like that. Get him a restraining order - that kind of thing. I wouldnt expect her to play fair in any case.
For now we are researching what options he has from where we are now. It may be possible that he could somehow get the divorce through from here at least. Not sure about the kids though.
I read this on Saturday and thought of you ;http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandsty...ents-law-deech
Keep going to the bottom and the paragraphs starting with "It is true..." That could work in his favour, and in particular, the bankruptcy is likely to work in his favour in terms of the financial settlement. There isn't the expectation here that wives get the family home, especially not in a situation like this. It is, generally, a 50/50 split of assets.
If you're serious about asking what he could do, I'd stop paying child support and put the money into a savings account in his child's name that he has access to for now: that's his slush fund for unexpected legal fees whether he tries again now or waits the five years. (Americans, don't shoot me for suggesting this. Basically, the welfare state will make sure that the kids don't starve. If she's claiming income support, all but £5 of that will be going to the treasury to offset the cost of her IS anyhow. Ask if you want the long-winded explanation, please)
I'd be inclined to write to her lawyers explaining that this is what he has been forced to do, as she has stopped all contact with him, and all contact with his children.
Secondly, I'd talk to the Citizens Advice Bureau in England and the equivalent government agency in his country of origin and find out what his entitlement to Legal Aid is likely to be. Get the paperwork from the bankruptcy and everything else in order.
Third, I'd investigate the divorce laws in his country of origin, where you're living now, and see if there is an option there after, what, three, four, years of marriage? (eta: I don't mean marriage, I mean separation. Doh.)
Fourth, I would get the divorce petition sorted out NOW and file it at 9am on the day that the five years of separation is up, unless you like my third suggestion better. I'd suggest he handles the divorce itself himself and hires a solicitor ONLY for the purpose of drafting and subsequently negotiating the financial affairs and statement for the children, which will keep the cost down somewhat: it's what I did. It is possible for him to do the whole thing himself. Seriously, though, it would be worth him claiming legal aid if he qualifies, just because judges do have a reputation for getting legal aid divorces through quickly and not LETTING them drag on: and also, that will make damn sure that nobody is under the illusion that he has money to throw away.
Fifth, and do this first, I'd make damn sure that the house has full buildings insurance cover, contents if he has any stuff left there, JUST in case. I'd also contact his former local council and establish that there is no outstanding council tax on the property, and follow that phone call up every year. I don't know how to find out who is insuring a property, but I bet a good independent insurance broker does.
And lastly, I'd be careful of your own heart. At some point, he chose to walk away from the fight to see his kids. Things got tough and he chose the easy way out. It sounds like he's had a really tough few years, but what if the two of you have a tough time and he lets you down the way he let his kids down? I'd be a lot less worried if you were saying "yep, he filed for divorce, she said he couldn't see the kids any more so he withdrew the petition and now he's kicking himself" or "his solicitor sent her a letter letting her know that the divorce was coming and she went nuts and he was working flat out trying to save the business so he put things on hold for later, and now he wishes he hadn't." At some point, he made a conscious choice to walk away from the fight for his kids, and he might do that a second time. To you. Just be wary, honey. OK?