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Biggest Fear for birth and baby - Page 2

post #21 of 42
My biggest fear is that for some reason I won't be able to breastfeed like I want too (my mom couldn't for medical reasons with both me and my brother)and that I won't be able to handle the lack of sleep after she's born.
post #22 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein View Post
We're sisters! I am excited to try a water birth but I've heard so many stories of "floaties".
One of my birth quotes for the wall around my tub is "Shit happens."
Quote:
Originally Posted by juliacat
My biggest fear about the birth is that I'll tear again. That was awful last time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by First-Time-Mommy
my biggest fear for birth is an episiotomy
I honestly believe this is the biggest factor driving my decision to homebirth. I don't want permanent damage down there, any more than there has to be. I've had 33 years with my parts the way they are, darnit. My mw has an excellent track record as far as tearing and episiotomies. It's worth the $$ I'm shelling out out-of-pocket if this can at all be prevented. But...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Youngfrankenstein
If I lay it all out there, my biggest fear is that the baby would die at the homebirth and I'd get to live with/hear about it for the rest of my life. I know the chances of that are slim, but it is my biggest fear.
This is hands down becoming my biggest fear. I actually had a night the other day where I had almost convinced myself that homebirthing was TREMENDOUSLY unsafe, and that all the studies saying otherwise were doctored, flawed, and done by those in the natural birthing community just to make us THINK its safe...it was really a bad, bad place to be in. I'm mostly over it, but I'm trying to resume concurrent care to keep my OB option open in case I freak out during labor (or in case my breech baby decides to stay ).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Krystal323
i don't really have any concrete fears--but more just this vague panic that i won't be able to cope with life once this new kid is born
Quote:
Originally Posted by frogautumn
I think I had the opposite of PPD--it was like some sort of post-partum euphoria. It was a tremendously powerful and healing experience.
I'd like to third thanking frogautumn. I struggle with depression nearly daily and I'm so concerned about postpartum. I, too, have a psych on red alert for November and December should I need to go back on medication, but I'm just really, really concerned that I won't be able to handle the stress of a newborn all on my own going back to work when she's 6 weeks old. It's really, really, really scary.

And also, my mother and I have an intensely complicated relationship. I actually think the reason I haven't had kids (or wanted to have them) to this point is due mostly to the fear that I will misunderstand my kid as much as she's misunderstood me all these years. Having a little person scares the bejesus out of me.

So basically I'm afraid of everything.
post #23 of 42
This will be our first homebirth. I'm afraid the last few weeks are going to SUCK because this will be such a big baby (all our dc are big!) and I have to wait for labor to happen. I'm afraid I won't go into labor on my own. (5 of the previous 6 have been induced) I'm afraid I'll end up back at the hospital with another induction after all we've done to avoid the hospital this time. (They called CPS on us last time.) ACK!!!!

If only we could KNOW when labor was going to start, some of my fears would be for nothing.
post #24 of 42
I have fears about home birth as well. I get afraid that things will go wrong and I'll never hear the end of it. I am also afraid of transporting since I really don't want to have this baby in the hospital. I had DD in the hospital and it was not that bad of an experience, plus I have an amazing backup OB so I know it isn't the end of the world. I just have high hopes for what I want this birth to be and I hope it all stays that way.

I'm afraid I will not have enough energy for both children. I'm scared of how DD will react to the baby and how I will adjust to having two kids. I have no family around so I'm pretty much on my own. I have some great friends who are willing to help, but they have their own families and it isn't the same as grandmas and aunts. I'm afraid I won't be as patient as I want to be.
post #25 of 42
For the birth- I am afraid of hemmrhoids. I had them terribly last time and it was by far the worst part of my recovery.

For the baby- I am feeling very guilty/worried that I won't be able to spend enough time bonding with this baby. My daughter had SO much attention, and still requires a lot of attention, and I'm really conflicted about making either of them wait/share.
post #26 of 42
I am freaking out about 3 things:
1) that I will give into an epidural, even though I don't want one
2) not being able to BF (I had alot of trouble with DD- I was so sore from nursing at the beginning, I would cry when it was time to feed her and I think I gave up and lost my supply)
3) PPD
post #27 of 42
my fears are

giving in to pain meds
not being able to BF
that something will be wrong with my girl
post #28 of 42
yeah, I forgot to mention that I'm afraid of PPD, esp seeing as it's incredibly likely given my circumstances.

I don't even know what we will do if I can't keep up with everything....I love my DH, but really, he's not much help right now. I have to keep working until he finds some sort of temp job so we don't starve while I'm recovering from the birth--but he can't even get it together enough to fill out or drop off an applicaton. Who are we kidding, thinking he can work?

sometimes i seriously wish my life had a pause button.
post #29 of 42
For me, the episiotomy is the biggest fear about childbirth, but actually the one that I am truly worried about is not being able to BF or having PPD. My mom was notable to BF my sister and I because nobody supported her after c/s, and my mother in law didn't either. So their support on that aspect is quite limited. Also, since DH has not yet been able to find a job (He finished his studies last May), it seems like I will have to go back to work after 6 weeks
post #30 of 42
My biggest fear about birth is that the baby or I won't survive. It's a crazy fear that came out of nowhere and I didn't fear that with either of my other two. I am also terrified that something will be wrong with the baby that I am unprepared for because I did not have the ultrasound. I had two early ones for different reasons, and couldn't justify having a third. I don't know if I could handle something wrong with the baby. I also am dreading birth this time, like I never have before. I think I feel like I was lucky twice so I am pushing it now.
I'm not to worried about after baby is here. I don't think DS will handle it as well as DD did when he was born, but I have a better sense that I can fit a baby into our lives this time. I am concerned about PPD, because I am certain I had it after DS and didn't seek help, I don't want to go back there again.
post #31 of 42
Thread Starter 
I am amazed how many of you share my fear of PPD. Some of you mentioned, that they lined up a counselor. What else have you done to prepare in case PPD hits?

Quote:
Originally Posted by anacaro View Post
My mom was notable to BF my sister and I because nobody supported her after c/s, and my mother in law didn't either.
There are wonderful lactation counselors out there nowadays, my hospital provides one for every birthing mom. Have you considered joining a LLL meeting before birth? People have suggested this to me, but I haven't gone yet.
post #32 of 42
This is a great thread because honestly I have not really voiced my fears at all, though they are definitely there. I think its time I let them out:
Right now I really really fear that the baby is not head down and will be/stay breech and I will end up sectioned. (yes I know thats irrational considering i"m only 32.5wks but still its there)
I worry about loving this child as much as I love DS1. I worry about taking attention away from DS1. I worry about how the heck I'm gonna handle 2 children and life when dealing with 1 is so difficult because I do most of it on my own.
I worry about the health of this child. I worry if I can handle pushing out a child naturally (didn't get a epidural with DS1 until 9cm and 30hrs into labor but still I didn't get to feel that ring of fire and I'll admit, I'm scared.) I worry if my marriage can handle the stress another child will undoubtedly bring. I worry this child will have the 24/7 colic and many other issues my son had. Definite minor concerns about pooping during labor.
Ugh....I'm worried about a lot I guess. But it feels good knowing I'm not the only one!
post #33 of 42
I wouldn't call them true fears, but..

Birth: Tearing again and not feeling urge to push

Baby: Feeling overwhelmed with having two kiddos
post #34 of 42
Thanks for this thread and for the reassurance from so many of you already-moms.

I fear the baby will die shortly after birth and all of this dreaming, planning, pregnancy...will be for naught.

I fear the baby will end up with autism or some other PDD that there is no way to diagnose until later.

I fear PPD, too, but do have a counselor I could go to.

I fear the fluoxetine I have taken throughout my pregnancy for anxiety will make my baby very irritable (d/t withdrawal) and difficult to care for.

I fear I will not be able to breastfeed. I really want to.

I think a lot of us have the same fears!! And most of the time everything is just great!
post #35 of 42
I had DS, in an hospital, with an epidural. I'm having this baby in a birth center. I'm really afraid that I won't be able to take the pain, and since I had a good experience with the epidural I'll want to be transferred when I'm in the thick of it.

I'm also afraid of how DS is going to react not being the only child.
post #36 of 42
I have exactly one fear.

Perineal tearing. This is dangerous for me. I don't have a normal intestinal system, and I have a j-pouch instead of a large intestine. So tearing through would mean my artificial, surgically-created j-pouch would tear, and it can't be repaired.

And yet I'm planning a natural birth, and no, not in a hospital.
post #37 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noelle C. View Post
I have exactly one fear.

Perineal tearing. This is dangerous for me. I don't have a normal intestinal system, and I have a j-pouch instead of a large intestine. So tearing through would mean my artificial, surgically-created j-pouch would tear, and it can't be repaired.

And yet I'm planning a natural birth, and no, not in a hospital.
Then I think you'll have way less intervention and be way less likely to tear. I know a few people with j-pouches and it never occured to me how it would affect childbirth.
post #38 of 42
I tore because my baby was breech. I'm told it wouldn't have happened if she'd been headfirst.
post #39 of 42
A hospital transfer - for any reason.

With two natural out of hospital births under my belt, I know it is very unlikely... the thought of giving birth in a hospital is absolutely terrifying to me. I don't know where my children would go, what my family would do without me for 2-3 days... and the thought of all those people that I've never met before in my life having a hand in something so private... I just have to put my head in the sand on that one and not think about it, because it would become a huge mental block.
post #40 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisie125 View Post
A hospital transfer - for any reason.

With two natural out of hospital births under my belt, I know it is very unlikely... the thought of giving birth in a hospital is absolutely terrifying to me. I don't know where my children would go, what my family would do without me for 2-3 days... and the thought of all those people that I've never met before in my life having a hand in something so private... I just have to put my head in the sand on that one and not think about it, because it would become a huge mental block.
I'm right there with you on this. My biggest fear by FAR, is going to the hospital. I have nightmares about procedures done to me and my baby that I don't want to happen. I am utterly terrified of routine procedures and interventions. I don't want a bunch of strangers making decisions about me, staring into my crotch and managing my baby's birth and first few hours/days of life.

I'm trying to work on this though. It's hard. I've had bad experiences with the medical profession, from ineptitude to down right nearly killing me.
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