or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2009 - 2012 › November 2009 › Biggest Fear for birth and baby
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Biggest Fear for birth and baby - Page 3

post #41 of 42
When I really think about it, I have several anxieties about my impending labor/birth, but nothing really serious considering that I had an ideal birth center natural birth last time.

The thing that gets me is that I worry I am not making the best decisions for my children. Dd isn't vaxed and probably won't be for a long time, and I've gotten over the worst of the worry that decision brought with it simply because she's older now. Now, I have to worry all over again with a newborn and thats the part that makes parenting sooooo hard. I worry that I’m making a fateful decision in their lives when I choose not to vax them, but at the same time, I totally fear what these experimental drugs could be doing to our children that we know nothing about. In the end, it’s the latter fear that ends up overriding, but it doesn’t stop the worrying about the other.

I worry about not circumcising my son. I don’t plan on doing it, but at the same time, it’s soooo indoctrinated in me that I find myself teetering on the “what if I’m wrong” balance. It’s really the same thing with vaccines. When it comes to worry, you’re dam*ed if you do, dam*ed if you don’t.

It’s difficult when almost every decision you make for your child is so against the grain of society. It only helps a little bit that I have an advanced degree in Chemistry. Some people genuinely want to know what I know since they trust I must have done my research. Others simply write me off as “kooky” or “that I read too much” which is absurd.

All in all, I know that I am doing this for my children. I’d never hurt them. But sometimes if feels like so many people are accusing you of doing just that. In the end I stick to my guns, but the pressure is amazing sometimes and causes me to always wonder and worry.
post #42 of 42
to all of you Mommas!

I've already faced one fear: not having my labor coach with me. My DH has already proven himself to be of NO help with the first and I know that this time will be hard on him, as I'm hoping for a med-free birth. He stood at my head and stared at the wall when I was pushing with C, LOL! My labor coach was going to be one of my best friends. She'd been reading everything she could get her hands on, preparing herself, and recently found out that she has to undergo a second round of radiation to fight thyroid cancer right around my due date. The meds and the diet that she has to follow prior to treatment really wear her out, too, and I don't want her to feel like she's in any way obligated to do this with me. I want her take care of herself, first. I do have a WONDERFUL person that's stepped into her shoes, though, and I know that she'll do an outstanding job with supporting me through this! (She's a UCer!)

Other fears? That A will end up in the NICU, like C did. That was the worst feeling in the world, being told the *day* that we were supposed to go home that the were keeping my baby for observation. Another is that I'll give into the epidural. Having a c-section scares the crap out of me. And finally, that breastfeeding will be a disaster. I only nursed C for three or four months before I gave up, due to lack of support. Horrible LC in the hospital, horrible LC at the pediatrician's office, horrible advice from another staff member at the pediatrician's office. So, I'm hoping for the best (and planning on attending LLL this time)!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: November 2009
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2009 - 2012 › November 2009 › Biggest Fear for birth and baby