Devastated, any advice welcome!

[aVerber]

This morning I was supposed to go for a biophysical scan. My midwife made the appointment last week, with the understanding that if everything still looked good I'd have a few days to play with. An hour before I was to leave she called and risked me out of her care.

I am devastated. I'm a VBA2C at 42+2 weeks. I have had a perfectly healthy pregnancy, every test I've had has gone great. The baby had a biophysical scan on Thursday and it was good, no respirations, but the baby was sleeping so that wasn't unexpected, everything else was perfect.

My DH thinks (because that's what my MW said to do) I should call an OB and schedule a Csection, today. The baby is still moving well, I've been having prodromal contractions for at least a week and I just can't give up on it.

Plus now I have no care provider, so essentially I'd have to call some random practice and say I was attempting a homebirth, but my MW risked me out and I need someone to cut me open. I just don't see how I can do that. I have so much emotional trauma from my last Csection (left my DD in the NICU) I haven't stopped crying.

I would like to wait to see if I go into labor in the next few days, then labor at home as long as possible then go to the hospital. But DH isn't thinking that's a good idea.

Help?

[ShwarmaQueen]

How devastating mamma.

Are you sure of your dates?

I would probably give my body a few more days if baby is still moving and tests were normal. You might want to look at natural induction methods, like EPO internally?

If you do contact an OB for care, you might ask about a foley induction instead of a rcs.

I'm so sorry for your situation. It's sad that VBACs are treated like this.

[aVerber]

Hey mama, thanks for the support. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure about the dates. I had an early u/s and a later one and they both came back with the same date.

I've been doing EPO as a suppository for over a week now. And just about everything else I could think of. acupuncture, chiropractor, all foods, whatnot... my MW never stripped/swept my membranes (haven't seen her since last Monday) but at this point there's no one to do it anyway.

I doubt that I'd be able to find an OB willing to induce me in any way, I'm a Vba2c...I tried with the "most liberal" practice who yes'ed me until 34 weeks before saying they couldn't support it.

I hate feeling like a leper just because I'm a csection mommy. I have done everything right this pregnancy and will feel crushed to have another surgery.

[rainashine]

Where are you that she can risk you out without refering you somewhere? That sounds like patient abandonment to me. She can't just leave you with no one.

[GOPLawyer]

Originally Posted by rainashine

Where are you that she can risk you out without refering you somewhere? That sounds like patient abandonment to me. She can't just leave you with no one.

Exactly. I don't know if it's different w/ MWs but OBs can't do that this late in the game (they have like 30 or 45 days notice they have to give).

Anyway, all is not lost! I don't see any reason why you have to have a RCS.

I went into unstoppable labor at 30 weeks. Obviously, I couldn't have the homebirth w/ a CPM that I had planned. I didn't have a back up OB (had no desire to have one) so I just went to the hospital. I'd never met any of the docs which did kind of suck but the situation was unavoidable so I accepted it for what it was.

The OBs were REALLY, REALLY pushing for a c/s (I've had 2 c/s...one w/ a vertical incision). The docs were very hostile. However, DH and I stood our ground and simply and absolutely refused a c/s. There wasn't a thing the docs could do other than stand by. They couldn't kick me out of the hospital (the law EMTALA) and they couldn't c/s me w/o my permission. Everything went wonderfully and I had my VBA2C....but only because I stood up to the docs and refused to let them push me into something I knew wasn't needed.

If you feel comfortable, there's no reason to agree to a c/s and one can't be forced upon you (hospital policies do NOT trump the law).

[aVerber]

I love the support here! Thank you!

I think she can risk me out without a referral because it's technically not legal for her to attend my birth anyway. CPMs aren't legal in my state (are they anywhere?) so I got her from "across the border".
I hate to feel antagonistic/angry towards her, but I don't think this was handled well on her part. Up until this morning I was understanding that she'd give me a few days past the biophysical as long as it went well. To just risk me out over the phone with no notice...well it made things much harder for me, I feel like she treated me like my OBs did...yesing me and then just ditching me.

I am ALL for laboring as long as I can at home, then going to the hospital, but DH is getting tweaky (thinks the MW/Drs are right when they say how risky I am) and I don't think he'll let me stay much longer.

[ShwarmaQueen]

Originally Posted by aVerber

I am ALL for laboring as long as I can at home, then going to the hospital, but DH is getting tweaky (thinks the MW/Drs are right when they say how risky I am) and I don't think he'll let me stay much longer.

I'm all for mutual respect and concerned DHs, but this is your body and your baby too. No one can force you to have a rcs if you don't want one.

[GOPLawyer]

Originally Posted by ShwarmaQueen

I'm all for mutual respect and concerned DHs, but this is your body and your baby too. No one can force you to have a rcs if you don't want one.

I could not agree more. Does he know about the risks to Mom and Baby w/ a RCS?

With a VBA2C, there is, about a 99% chance that your uterus will NOT rupture. Pretty good odds in your favor IMO.

[aVerber]

Every time I try to bring up that rcs is dangerous too, DH just tells me I've already got my mind made up. I've sent him links, but he won't read them! Frustrating

[MyFillingQuiver]

I'm so sorry your husband isn't on board. It's a very difficult situation! I was a VBA2C, and we are SO SO SO darned conditioned to believe it's risky! GEEZ, it's infuriating!

My OB was so wonderful to counsel my husband and tell him there is NO PROVEN risk for a VBA2C above a VBAC, and BOTH are safer and better for future pg than a RCS. This really helped him. They worry because they are our protector (at least for us) and they are so concerned about mom and baby because of the scare tactics!

Anyway, I'm sorry you are going through this..and I'd do whatever necessary to avoid the uncessary RCS. I know you are trying!

[everything to one]

love what someone said about refusing it in the hospital and how the drs have no choice but to stand by. i didnt think about this option w/ my hospital birth when they broke my water and did pitocin bc i was "taking too long". im doing a homebirth this time to avoid these time frames but if for some reason i end up there i hope i remember my rights! good luck and prayers to you and your family.

[GOPLawyer]

Originally Posted by everything to one

im getting ready to do my first homebirth so i am not experienced with this except to say that i just finished reading everything i could get my hands on about HB. i sympathize with your MW dropping you like that and the fact that you now have to find a new OB. if you had a good midwife i would trust her recommendation not to wait. but even if you do wait a few more days i wouldnt labor at home long. all of the statistics i read and stories of "home birth gone wrong" were 1- mothers giving birth without an experienced midwife present and 2- after having a prior c-section or other abd surgery. being a post-surgical nurse myself this does make some sense. someone pointed out that you are at a no higher risk than a vbac (being a vba2c) but from what ive read there is still a significant risk because you have had a CS at all. another thought is that while you may be right and your husband may be unnecessarily concerned, he still has to shoulder the risk with you. if something were to happen (home or at the hospital) you BOTH have to live with it. so try to talk talk talk until the two of you agree! good luck. this is more than anyone should have to decide at your stage in pregnancy! you are doing great!

To the OP...please don't let this post scare you. If you are interested, I can point you to research that shows that the scare tactics in the above post are wrong. A less than 1% risk is NOT significant.

[aVerber]

Ha, GOPlawyer, I wouldn't even have read her post if you hadn't quoted it! Interesting.
My MW has been on the phone with me a lot today and it seems she's trying to scare me. She seems to be afraid we're going to drop her name and she's going to get into legal trouble or something. I'm sure her heart is in the right place, but by telling me essentially that I'm putting my baby and self in danger without being compassionate about MY feelings and only talking about hers (out of her comfort zone said about a million times) it just sucks.

I'm unsure of wether to take her recommendation to call an OB in yet another state (hospital/dr about 2 hrs away) tomorrow to see if they'll "take me on" or just go with my original plan, that she was dead set that I shouldn't follow.

I don't FEEL risky. The baby moves well. I am feeling well. Today is a 7 on the suckometer.

[MyFillingQuiver]

Originally Posted by GOPLawyer

To the OP...please don't let this post scare you. If you are interested, I can point you to research that shows that the scare tactics in the above post are wrong. A less than 1% risk is NOT significant.

ITA with PP! This is the same garbage that leads to women ending their abilities to have children due to RCS! I know so many who are sadly not having more children that they desire because of RCS.

I was the one who said that there is only theoretical increased risk with VBA2C over a VBAC. My OB said that and he is the one shouldering the outrageous malpractice insurance...so he's pretty sure! He shared with me all kinds of ACOG studies that prove RCS is nearly always more risky than VBAC or VBA2C.

[ShwarmaQueen]

Originally Posted by GOPLawyer

With a VBA2C, there is, about a 99% chance that your uterus will NOT rupture. Pretty good odds in your favor IMO.

Not to mention that of the ruptures that do happen, even a much smaller percentage are fatal (either for baby or mom). Not sure what the stat is, maybe someone has it?

[pampered_mom]

Originally Posted by aVerber

My MW has been on the phone with me a lot today and it seems she's trying to scare me. She seems to be afraid we're going to drop her name and she's going to get into legal trouble or something. I'm sure her heart is in the right place, but by telling me essentially that I'm putting my baby and self in danger without being compassionate about MY feelings and only talking about hers (out of her comfort zone said about a million times) it just sucks.

I was going to ask why she didn't continue on in a support function - given the situation you are in you'd think it might be possible for her to function in a doula/montrice role. However, after reading this post I'm thinking that might not be such a great idea. It sounds like she's feeling some sort of regret over agreeing in the first place which is most definitely not your issue! Lets hope she doesn't do this to another pregnant woman!

If it were me, I'd probably follow a similar plan to yours - to wait it out a bit. Given the situation with your dh - have you considered hiring a doula? I think having a supportive person in the room for you with a VBA2C would be very important. Have you gotten in contact with your local ICAN chapter?

[aVerber]

You mamas are really helping me feel better about my choices. I would never want to put my baby at risk, but people don't seem to see that.

My MW told me that unless I go to a hospital in a different state (and go into labor tonight, after tonight it's no go) she wants to be out of the picture completely. I have too many negative feelings towards her right now to even consider her being my doula.

I am a post partum doula and know some people but I don't know how many are free, I am looking into it! My ICAN chapter is in a bit of upheaval right now unfortunately but I am going to try to find someone.

[maotmsmi]

.

Edited by maotmsmi - 5/21/11 at 2:14pm

[fwlady]

I'm not a VBA2C momma, just a VBACer. But, I have had SEVERAL VERY HEALTHY post dates babies. My first VBAC was 23 days late (43+2), my 4th VBAC was 26 days late(almost 44wks), and the best UC/birth of all, and a full 1.5lbs heavier than any of my other babies. My 5th VBAC baby was 23 days late. Some of these PG were also UP. THe babies always moved fine. The last baby that late had meconium as well, but was FINE. I did have her at the hospital, and they were surprisingly VERY GOOD about the whole HB/UP thing. They never pressured me into a RCS, even though they didn't know me at all. The baby was fine, and I had her quickly after I felt comfortable. I had my EMTALA papers with me, and never had to use them. So, waiting until labor hits hard and going in can work. I wasn't really "in labor" as it had started to peter out when I got stressed walking in there. But, progressed once feeling better. I have had the opposite happen too, where I got stressed and baby came flying out after a petering labor.

YOU CAN DO THIS!! You may have to fight for it, as I was prepared to do, but you could also just get lucky with the hospital you choose. Kymberli

[peachsara]

Still praying for you. Hopefully, you got some rest last night and are feeling better today.


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