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My son was "forgotten" outside at his first day of grade 1. EMAIL REPLY #13

post #1 of 25
Thread Starter 
Ugh. I have an ongoing fear of my kids going missing. It all started when my son was in preschool and I found him playing with a bunch of teenagers at the skate park.

Just so you get the layout of the school. All kids enter and exit the school from door that lead out of each classroom. Only time they are in the hallways of the school is if they are going to the library or gym. So there's two main doors plus a door for each classroom, so about 30 doors total). Only the two main doors can be opened from the outside. The classroom doors have to be opened from the inside.

So today he started his first day of grade 1. The parking kind of sucks at the school so my youngest son and I left early to go pick him up. School was out at 11 and we got there at 10:40. There were no kids outside when we got there. About 5-10 minutes later a lady comes walking from the back of the school with my son. I was a bit confused. She was talking to him. He came running up with tears in his eyes. He says he was forgotten at the playground. The lady who brought him back knocked on the door to his classroom, a child opened the door and my son went in. I heard the teacher say "Austin, I was looking for you, you must come when the bell goes off!". Remember, I'd been there for 10 minutes already! And when I got there, there were no kids. The lady told me that she came to pick her child up from kindergarten and was keeping an eye on my son because he seemed so little to be by himself at the park.

So my son was dismissed from school and he was very very very quiet. We got home and I sat down to talk with him. Apparently ALL of the kids get kicked outside for recess. When the bell rang all of the kids were running back to their classrooms. My son said all the kids ran fast and he had to dodge between the older kids and by the time he got back to the front of the school where his classroom was, he couldn't remember which of the dozen doors on the front of the school was his. He knocked on one and nobody answered. Then he went around to the back of the school and knocked on his kindergarten door and nobody answered. He said he was so scared and didn't know what to do so he went and sat at the playground. Thankfully that lady was keeping an eye on him!!!!

I was anxious enough this morning before he even left for school, now I'm just petrified to send him tommorow.
post #2 of 25
I'd be freaked out by this too. It is the teachers job to keep up with the class. They may want to emphasis self responsibilty to students but it is the teachers job. I would speak with his teacher asap about the incident and ask her for reassurances that this won't happen again.
post #3 of 25
Maybe I overreact, but this would be so far beyond OK to me I would have a meeting with the principal and teacher TOMORROW, and htey would need to have a plan in place to be sure this never happens again ASAP. Like, yesterday. I can't see how this could possibly be OK. Why wouldn't the teachers round up their own classrooms to bring them back inside? How can a 6-yo be left responsible for getting himself back to the right place the FIRST day of class with no supervision??? I would lose my mind about this, and I'm not usually a lose my mind kind of person.
post #4 of 25
Totally unacceptable, imo. I've taught many of those little grades and have NEVER been in a situation where the little guys are expected to run in to school in a free-for-all. The classes should line up by grade, be counted, and walk in together. I would also be concerned if "all the kids" means grades K-5 or so...it's generally safer when K-3 play in a designated area, and the big kids play somewhere else.

If I were in your shoes, I would discuss this total lack of strategy with the principal, and I would also make sure the teacher is sufficiently mortified for not noticing. (And I'm a teacher myself. But still.)
post #5 of 25
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by The4OfUs View Post
Maybe I overreact, but this would be so far beyond OK to me I would have a meeting with the principal and teacher TOMORROW, and htey would need to have a plan in place to be sure this never happens again ASAP. Like, yesterday. I can't see how this could possibly be OK. Why wouldn't the teachers round up their own classrooms to bring them back inside? How can a 6-yo be left responsible for getting himself back to the right place the FIRST day of class with no supervision??? I would lose my mind about this, and I'm not usually a lose my mind kind of person.
I agree with all of it. My hubby is out of town but I just talked to him and he's so angry. We'll be going to talk to the teacher tommorow.

post #6 of 25
What would most concern this is that the teacher apparently noticed that your son was missing and did nothing about it. What could she have been thinking?

I hope that you are able to come to an understanding with the school that makes you comfortable.
post #7 of 25
I'd be with the above posters. This is 100% unacceptable and needs to be brought to the principal's attention. There needs to be preventive measures put in place so it NEVER happens again.
Sara
post #8 of 25
How scary for both of you!

Let us know how your talk with the teacher goes -- I hope she realizes how serious this is.
post #9 of 25
OMG how incredibly scary! This is how children go missing...they wander off, someone can find them. Urgh. Totally unacceptable. When I worked at a school, it was with kindergarten as well as after school care and all the kids lined up at the door so the teacher could count them and keep an eye on whoever is left in the playground or in their sights. As a parent I would be incredibly angry. Keep us posted on what goes on, I sure hope this gives them the incentive to review their policies because it's totally unacceptable.
post #10 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by zeldamomma View Post
What would most concern this is that the teacher apparently noticed that your son was missing and did nothing about it. What could she have been thinking?
:
post #11 of 25
ALso, thank goodness for the women who have kept him safe in both those incidents!
post #12 of 25
I vote for having a stern, face to face conversation with the principal and the teacher and request a plan IN WRITING as to how they will ensure this NEVER happens again. Also definitely inquire as to how he was away from his class for even a few minutes without an alert being sounded by the teacher that there was a missing child.

Don't take their rhetoric or blaming of your son whatsoever. It doesn't matter WHY he was left behind on his end of it, because that implies the teacher isn't responsible for basic head count when transitioning between locations. There should be a head count upon leaving the playground and entering the classroom. Period.

HTH mama, keep us posted!
post #13 of 25
All the kids being kicked out at recess is normal.

But, for Pete's sake... stand there for a little while as the kids come in and watch for any stray kids. THEN, do a freaking head count. It's not like it's fifth grade. The teacher should have been apologising profusely, and looking for him. She didn't even notice he hadn't come in yet.

I'm glad he's O.K. But, I'd tell the principal exactly what you told us just now. It makes perfect sense that he couldn't tell which door was his.
post #14 of 25
Maybe they could have a color picture of a specific animal on their classroom door, like a green frog, yellow duck, brown bear, whatever. That way they KNOW which door is theirs.

Sheesh....

Good luck mama
post #15 of 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post
But, for Pete's sake... stand there for a little while as the kids come in and watch for any stray kids. THEN, do a freaking head count. It's not like it's fifth grade.
At my school, we stand there, wait for kids, and do a head count for ALL grades, K-8.

What a terrible thing to have to happen to such a little boy!
post #16 of 25
oh how scary for him..
im glad he is okay!
good for you for emailing the principal!
post #17 of 25
How scary for your son. I'm glad you've been in touch with the principal.
post #18 of 25
I think the principal should have picked up the phone as soon as he read your email and called you personally.
post #19 of 25
I hate the "it's the beginning of the school year" excuse.

It is never acceptable or excusable to forget a child on the playground. Never. I don't give a **** whether it's the first day of school or the last. They are responsible for your child.

I would demand to know what will be done to ensure this doesn't happen again to your child or any other child. Clearly, if the principal is spending 20 MINUTES looking for another 1st grader, there is a serious problem with the way they are handling children.

I'm sorry Mama - I would absolutely loose my ever living mind.
post #20 of 25
It's so odd that this kind of thing has happened twice to your DS (I checked the link to your earlier post.) Both incidents were predictable and preventable.

With the first incident, I'm a bit surprised that daycares/preschools aren't required to have enclosed outdoor play spaces. It is a licencing requirement here. Then that they don't have two teachers/aids watching the kids playing. What does she do when a kid needs to use the potty?

With the recent incident I like others am surprised the students don't line up to go inside. But what surprises me more is that there aren't any adults out there watching the students during recess, who are responsible for being the last people to go inside. Even if it never occurred to the administration that a student might accidentally locked out and confused, I would think they would have problems with student who were having so much fun that they didn't feel like coming back inside. There really should be some kind of aids or teachers out there, who stay outside till the playground is completely empty. What if a student got injured?

Really it's so strange. Of all the things I could imagine happening to DS at school, I know that these kinds of incidents are ones the are thought about and planned about. It makes me wonder if you province has very lax regulations about this kind of thing.
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Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › The Childhood Years › My son was "forgotten" outside at his first day of grade 1. EMAIL REPLY #13