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Feel like yelling at your child? Yell at this thread instead! - Page 7

post #121 of 1059
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! For the love of God, stop talking! I'm begging you. Please....stop talking!!!!!!!!!!

Had to get that out of my system.

Here's a typical conversation with 3 yo Kate these days:

Kate: What letter does bubble bath start with?

Me: Well, it's two words--bubble starts with b and bath starts with b.

Kate: What doesn't start with b?

Me: Lots of things dont' start with b.

Kate: What doesn't start with b?

Me: Moon. Moon starts with M not with b.

Kate: Oh. What else doesn't start with b?

Me: Lots of things don't start with b.

[repeat substituting different words for "moon."]

I swear if I get one more "what doesn't" question my ears are going to start bleeding.
post #122 of 1059
followed by and a quick
post #123 of 1059

Ok I didn't think I would be here

but here I am

ARGGH you are all driving me nuts with the fussing and fighting
You at 10 1/2 have more attitude than your 17 old brother NO It is not following Dad's disagreement guidelines it IS ARGUING WITH YOUR MOTHER AND ISN"T TOLERATED IN THIS HOUSE THIS WAY
I don;t know what your problem is this last week but if you do not quit aggravating your two older/st siblings and causing havoc I am going to sell you to the gypsies!
Even your extra patience for being different has worn thin and snapped

post #124 of 1059
If I hear my son shriek one more time, his new annoying habit, I am going to

I will be glad once he gets out of this shrieking phase.
post #125 of 1059
Bumping this WAY OLD thread because I remember how amazingly helpful and hilarious it was to read, and what a lift it gave me to think of it, just before I might BLOW. I do believe it's helped in warding off some major temper tantrums. Mine that is.

Allow me to (re)start:

"I don't freaking care how neat the dinosaur fruit snacks look! I just don't care! We're not buying high fructose fruit crap! We're not. NOT NOT NOT NOT buying crap! If you want treats, we'll bake something with real ingredients and cut it into dinosaur shapes. My God, we'll buy some serious chocolate and chow down for GOD's sake. If you want fruit, we'll eat fruit! So there! No more whining! No more looking at the fruit snack box for hours in the store! No more trying to sneak it into the cart! No more asking, and if asked, you will be ignored! NO! MORE! NO MORE!

Whew, that really does help... anyone else interested in helping me revive this thread?
post #126 of 1059
Ok, here's mine:

If you're going to wake up 17 times a night, please allow me to help you fall back asleep, instead of grumping and groaning and kicking and flailing. If I decide to be really super nice, and invite you into my bed, please don't ruin it by steamrolling your infant brother. That's not nice.
post #127 of 1059
No, I Don't Want To Play Barbies. No, I Don't Want To Be {insert Name Of Prince Here: Eric, Stefan, Aidan, Charming, Philip, The Beast}

When I Do Play Barbies Stop Making Your Freaking Princess Run Away And Be 'shy' Every Time I Talk To Her. That Makes Me Not Want To Play Even More. Argh.

Leave The Cat Food, Please. Please Move Away From The Cat Bowls. Step Away From The Freaking Bowls.
post #128 of 1059
STOP EATING THE KITTY FOOD! STOP TOUCHING THE KEYBOARD! MAMA'S COMPUTER!! Please! When I get up, and ask you if you want something to drink, don't say "no" and then throw your cup at my head when I sit down!!! : In fact, stop &$&*@ throwing things at me PERIOD! ... and stop using my nipples to help you get onto my lap quicker!

(oh yes.. I think this thread could come in handy..)
post #129 of 1059
Gas is more than $3 a gallon! I don't want to "go in the CAAAAR - go in the CAAAAR - go in the CAAAR - go in the CAAAR - go in the CAAAR - go in the CAAAR"

Barney & Ben
post #130 of 1059

I KNOW you love the baby inside mama's tummy but that doesn't mean you have to JUMP ON IT!

post #131 of 1059
I Don't Know Where Your Hammer Is...i Need You To Get Ready For The Store...no We Don't Have Milk...

Stop Pinching And Laying On Your Sister...no She Does Not Like That!!!

You Are Driving Me Insane!!!why Did You Wake Up At 6 Am Today????i Don't Want To Be Awake Yet!!!you Know I Didn't Get To Sleep Until 1am!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
post #132 of 1059
NO! you can not pee on Mama. No! you can not pee on your friends. No! peeing on the dog. Will you please pee in the freaking potty!!!!

post #133 of 1059

This entire thread is cracking me up. And I can oh so relate.
post #134 of 1059

hmm lemme see

Wash the dishes means I want them done NOW not when you feel like it


Please ! STOP! ASKING! ME! WHY! NO ONE WILL HIRE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
we have been through that, you don't want to listen to me and accept that I might, I just *might* be right and you could improve things ...

post #135 of 1059
Whew.... here goes:
STOP putting you sister in the kitchen cupboard! You hear the screams??? That means she doesn't like it! If we eat macaroni and cheese ONE MORE TIME, I will die. If you're going to hug your sister, don't include strangling, JUST HUG. You will survive if I put you down for a moment. YOU'LL BE FINE!!! YOU ARE 14 MONTHS OLD... QUIT BEING LAZY AND JUST WALK ALREADY!! YOU'RE FAT AND I CAN'T CARRY YOU FOREVER! STOP STANDING ON THE COUCH!!! I SAID SIT ON YOUR BUTT! ON. YOUR. BUTT. NOW. YOU'RE GOING TO CRACK YOUR HEAD OPEN!!!

Geez, I love my crazy kids.
post #136 of 1059
you can't eat newspaper. you can't eat carpet fuzzies. you can't play in the dirty diaper pail. you can't crawl down the hallway and into the kitchen and bathroom. stop pulling stuff off my desk and the hallway table. you have toys; why aren't they as interesting? the kitty doesn't want to play with you, she wants to sleep. please stop biting mama's facey. it's cute, but not when you get in there with the toofers. we do not splash in the little potty just because I can't get away from you for 5 seconds to dump it out. we do not eat paperback books.

okay, now I'm :LOL
post #137 of 1059
When we are downtown on a busy street and I tell you to stop swinging on the parking meter--I f'ing mean it! There is someone trying to park there, and you are going to get hit by the car or make them wait. GET DOWN!!!!! NOW G-d dammit!!!

What now?! Stop throwing rocks at the building!!! Rocks can be thrown in water only and YOU KNOW IT. JUST GET IN THE F"ING CAR!
post #138 of 1059
i'm just trying to change you're diaper. quit wiggling! ahh!!!

i know your gums hurt and you can't sleep, but just shut the hell up. i'm going bonkers!!!!

thanks. i'll be back later.
post #139 of 1059
For the four year old:

Please, just use this potty. It is just like the potty at home. No, it won't hurt you. Please, I put the Baby Bjorn ring on it, it is safe, I will hold you in my arms. LOOK, JUST USE THE FRICKING POTTY! DON'T PEE IN THE CAR AGAIN BECAUSE WE CAN'T MAKE IT HOME AFTER GIVING YOU TWO CHANCES TO USE THE POTTY TEN MINUTES BEFORE LEAVING.

ok, that felt better.
post #140 of 1059
This thread is great!!!! :LOL

Right now I'm pretty calm and collected, but i'll be back.
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