KATRI NO MOUTH!!!! No no no! that's the doggies food not Katri food.. Katri NO MOUTH! Put that handful back! NO MOUTH!!! good girl come see mommy.. (crawls over fussing in defeat) Good girl now want some Nummies? (spits out a kibble) ACK! Katri NO MOUTH NO MOUTH NO MOUTH!!!
Katri.... POTTY!! You pottied on mommy! DON'T PLAY IN THE POTTY!!
I don't know where your sunglasses are.
I don't know. Wherever you left them.
Please don't ask me where because I don't know, and I'm trying to eat right now.
I DON"T KNOW!
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP ASKING ME WHERE YOUR FRICKENFRACKEN SUNGLASSES ARE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW AND I REALLY DON'T CARE!!!!
I. SAID. I. DON'T. KNOW.
Ya know, I fed your brother, I fed you, I am TRYING to take care of myself, I am HUNGRY and I want you to STOP TALKING TO ME. NO QUESTIONS! JUST LET ME EAT IN PEACE.
If I hear the word, "sunglasses" one more time, something very bad is going to happen.
Like Mama is going to explode. EXPLODE!!!!!
I'm glad you think that's so funny, you WRETCHED LITTLE INGRATE!
PLEASE DON'T STAND ON THE CHAIR WHILE YOU ARE EATING. PLEASE SIT DOWN. PLEASE, YOU ARE GOING TO HURT YOURSELF. PLEASE SIT DOWN. WATCH YOUR DRINK...IT'S GOING TO SPILL. SIT DOWN. ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH. PLEASE STAND OVER THERE WHILE MOMMY MOPS THE F%^&ING FLOOR FOR THE THIRD TIME TODAY FROM SPILT JUICE.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOOOOODDDDDD PLEASE STOP TRYING TO MAKE YOUR BROTHER LAY DOWN. PLEASE STOP PULLING ON YOUR BROTHER'S ARM. OH MY GOD YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT THAT FREAKIN TOY UNTILL YOUR BROTHERLOOKED AT IT. CAN'T YOU GET ALONG WITHOUT ARGUING FOR THE 2 MINUTES IT TAKES ME TO PEEEEE? I DON'T EVEN CLOSE THE DOOR. WHY CAN'T I CLOSE THE DOOR WHENI PEE? I JUST WANT TO CLOSE THE DOOR!
ooohhh, i feel much better now!
YOU LITTLE MONSTER. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST SLEEP? I AM GOING TO FALL ASLEEP FOR GOODNESS SAKES. IF YOU AND THE DOG NEXT DOOR WOULD STOP MAKING NOISE I COULD SLEEP....AND TO THE BABY...STOP HITTING ME WHEN I SLEEP. I AM MAMA, MOMMY, MOM, NOT DADDY, NOT DADDY, NOOOOOOOOOT DADDDDDDDDDY!!!!
Billy, my mouth is full, no more popcorn can fit in there. Billy, thank you for feeding me popcorn, I'm all done. No thank you, Billy. Billy, I don't want anymore. BILLY, QUIT SHOVING POPCORN IN MY MOUTH! BILLY DON't DO THAT! BILLY, I DON'T WANT TO EAT POPCORN AFTER YOU SHAKE MILK ALL OVER IT! I KNOW IT'S WET, I JUST SAW YOU SHAKE MILK ALL OCER IT AND TOLD YOU TO STOP! YOU KNOW NOT TO SHAKE DRINKS ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM THE FIVE MILLION OTHER TIMES I HAVE ASKED YOU NOT TO IN THE PAST TWO DAYS!
DON'T WIPE YOUR SNOT ON MY SHIRT! YOU HAVE ASKED FOR FORTY PAPER TOWELS TODAY AND THE ONLY TIME THAT THE ENVIORNMENTALLY FRIENDLY ALTERNATIVE LOOKS LIKE A GOOD CHOICE IS WHEN I AM WEARING IT? WHAT KIND OF SENSE DOES THAT MAKE?!
Trish, IRL I know of a mama who uses only cut up old t-shirts for kleenex.She just cuts them up like real kleenex size and washes them after each use.She says its wayyy cheaper and enviro friendly!Makes sense cuz my dd uses my shirt all the time too:LOL
I don't feel like yelling this right now (DD just finished nursing and has run off to DH ) but I'd like to say two things:
PLEASE, PLEASE PLAY by YOURSELF for FIVE minutes. FIVE minutes. That's all I'm asking . . . NO, you don't need to nurse or watch TV . . .you REALLY are capable of entertaining yourself for FIVE minues. (I especially wanted to yell this after Christmas-- even with new toys she wanted to nurse constantly!)
GO TO SLEEP. I'll give you $50 if you go to sleep! Note: In a moment that I lost it a few weeks ago, I really did yell the go to sleep part (several times) but I've been known to offer her the $50 as a way of saving my sanity . . . the humor helps. She's never accepted, though!
PLEASE STAY OUT OF MY CLOSET. PLEASE STAY OUT OF MY DRAWERS. PLEASE GET OUT OF MY POCKETBOOK. PLEASE LEAVE MY JEWELRY BOX ALONE. PLEASE STAY OUT OF MY MAKE-UP. PLEASE GIVE ME MY WATCH BACK. PLEASE COME OUT FROM UNDER MY BED. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST STAY OUT OF MY S*&T!!!