Feel like yelling at your child? Yell at this thread instead! - Page 43

[LynnS6]

Oh, and I forgot the one that I'd love to say but really can't (I've actually said versions of all of the above ones I posted):

I cannot believe that you just said "I hope grandma waits until spring break to die." If your grandmother dies while school is in session, you had darn well better not whine that going to the funeral will mess up your perfect attendance record, or Daddy and I will go completely ballistic on you. Grandma cannot schedule her death to please you.

[kitchensqueen]

I love this thread. It's fantastic. Mine from earlier today (and most days recently) - 

OH MY GOD PLEASE STAY ASLEEP. WHY DO YOU REFUSE TO NAP? YOU ARE ONLY THREE MONTHS OLD!!! YOU NEED SLEEP! YOU GET GRUMPY WHEN YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT AND I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!

[philomom]

Please, stop making the entire house into your personal drum.... and whistling loudly at 6 am does not win friends in life. Grr......

[hildare]

YOU HAVE BEEN USING THE POTTY FOR TWO MONTHS NOW.  WHY THE HELL ARE YOU PEEING YOUR PANTS EVERY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I HAD PREPPED AND PACKED AWAY YOUR DAMN DIAPERS FOR THE NEW BABY!!!!   YOU'RE KILLING ME.  KILLING ME!!!  ARRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH- #$#@u*b !! $(#$&*# !

[mamablitz]

PLEASE STOP SHITTING ON THE FLOOR AND PISSING EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY!!!!

hoping its okay to swear. its how I feel- better at the computer, right?  third night this week spent scrubbing the carpet because my  2 and 4 y.o think it is absolutely hilarious. 

[mommy212]

SHUT UP SHUT UP, SHUT UP!! i DON'T GIVE A F-ING ^#@)*^#)@*)$#@&)! aft#@ghsfvlajbfljblj!!!! argghhhh!!!!

[Ann-Marita]

You are NOT ALLOWED to borrow my things EVER!  EVER!  You have completely worn out your welcome on that one, kid.  You do not return things without repeated requests, and when I do get them back, they are often dirty, or damaged.  This has gone on far too long. 

Return my tweezers to where they belong RIGHT NOW.  I have events to attend today, and I need to look my best for cameras.  And my eyebrows need grooming, but WHERE ARE MY TWEEZERS!?!  GONE!  You've taken them and not returned them, AGAIN.  That's why I hid them to begin with.  And now you know where my hiding place is, AND YOU'VE TAKEN THEM AGAIN!

YOU MAY NOT BORROW MY THINGS AT ALL! 

The rule used to be "If you take it, put it back."  Well, that has been ignored for so long that the rule is now "Do not use my things."  I bought a new pair of tweezers for the family.  In fact, I think I bought TWO pairs.  And STILL, MY tweezers are gone!

ARGGGHHHHHHH!

[Imakcerka]

WHO ATE MY LIPSTICK?!!!!  SOMEONE ATE MY LIPSTICK, SO WHO THE HELL WAS IT?! 

I

[artekah]

WHY would you throw a sippy cup at my HEAD? THAT HIT MY EYE! WHYYY?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? What happened to my sweet little baby? Stop destroying my house! Stop hurting your little sister!!!!! Stop being a JERK. YOU ARE REALLY HARD TO LIVE WITH RIGHT NOW!

[LynnS6]

DO NOT, DO NOT ask me "Am I your honorable servant?" in a snotty tone of voice when I ask you to do 15 minutes of chores in the evening. FIFTEEN MINUTES. If you want to eat, have clean clothes and a roof over your head, the least you could do would be to help clean up the house once in a while!!! Because if you don't want to do chores, I am perfectly willing to let you cook your own food and wash your own clothes! So yes, you do need to clean all your crap off the couch.

Oops, that was the rant that I actually gave my 7 year old yesterday.

[NellieKatz]

LOL! I hear you. This is a familiar situation in our house. And I share your sentiment....all we DO for them!!

I am reading a book right now that's rather obnoxiously titled "The Manipulative Child." I think it's the wrong title because it almost makes it sound like a permanent personality trait or the kid's evil or something. But I must have gotten it out of the library for a reason! It's helpful in that it helps us see when we are being manipulated (which all human beings try to do...we all try to make things go our way), and best of all, what WE do as parents that encourages it. Such as our temperament, our fears, our guilt, or lack of parenting confidence. The child learns how to push our buttons and use it to get out of tasks they don't like and so forth. I recognized all of this in my son (8) last night when I told him to pick his coat and backpack up off the couch (where he had dumped them & quickly picked up a toy to play). Almost instantly, the child who had been playing quietly with the toy was stricken by numerous faux ailments and a paralyzing exhaustion, and started to emit dramatic moans, groans, and complaints, even going so far as to drop to the floor and drag himself along it (instead of walking), all the while carrying on the "too tired" histrionics. Wow! I just ignored it and kept at my business. I mean, at one point toward the beginning when Tactic #1 (ignoring my request altogether) was tried, I stopped the dishes, dried my hands, and stuck my head in the room and said again to pick the items up and unpack the backpack, but that was it. The drama didn't evoke another reply from me; the stuff did get done.

I was grateful to the book's authors for helping me see manipulative behavior when before I might have just thought it annoying behavior that it was somehow my job to make stop.

It happened again last night at bedtime, which is our biggest bone of contention. The familiar litany of "I hate you, you can't MAKE me....etc etc"  For once I didn't get into the power struggle. I just stood there in his door way and said "put away the toy, turn out the light, and go to bed." Over. and over. and over. Broken record. He pulled out every manipulation in the book. I'm the worst parent, he hates me, I can't make him, I'm not the boss of him. I just stood there and said "lights out, go to bed." It worked. No threats on my part at all! (for a change) I need to try this BEFORE 1:45 a.m. next time.   :-)

Originally Posted by LynnS6 

DO NOT, DO NOT ask me "Am I your honorable servant?" in a snotty tone of voice when I ask you to do 15 minutes of chores in the evening. FIFTEEN MINUTES. If you want to eat, have clean clothes and a roof over your head, the least you could do would be to help clean up the house once in a while!!! Because if you don't want to do chores, I am perfectly willing to let you cook your own food and wash your own clothes! So yes, you do need to clean all your crap off the couch.

Oops, that was the rant that I actually gave my 7 year old yesterday.

[Thing1Thing2]

Originally Posted by Imakcerka 

WHO ATE MY LIPSTICK?!!!!  SOMEONE ATE MY LIPSTICK, SO WHO THE HELL WAS IT?! 

I

[Surfacing]

DD2 - You are almost four years old. Please leave the freaking nookie at home. Better yet, toss the freaking nookie in the garbage already!!! [turning to bystanders dd1, dh, and grandpa] Stop hiding nookies and buying new ones when I take the old ones away!!! She's four freaking years old already!!! We have indulged her need to have a pacifier long enough!!!! ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!!! AAARRGGHHH!!!!

Dd1 - You have a lucky a$$ life and lots of nice things. I spend lots of time and money taking you places, enrolling you in classes, doing things with you like baking, etc. Stop acting like a dang drama queen and get a clue. You have a charmed life!!! Also stop saying SEXY and F*CK and SH*T. Dd2 stop singing "I'm sexy and I know it" Dh I'm gonna kick yer a$$, wth did you play them that song for? So age inappropriate!!!

DS - I love you dearly and have enjoyed nursing you for 1.5 yrs now. Please stop kicking me in the jaw and slapping me on the head. Bedsharing has been working out great until now... these kick boxing aerobics in bed are NOT cool!!! Go to freaking sleep already!!! You've always been a great sleeper but this regression due to developmental spurt is killing me!!!

DS and DD2 - I am trying to work to make some money so we can have some of the extra things that you girls whine about all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

REFLECTION IN MIRROR:  Who the hell are you? Who is this fat chick? I used to be skinny and beautiful. Now I'm fat and tired. Go away. I want the other girl back. LOL

AAAaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! That feels better.

Edited by Surfacing - 1/4/12 at 8:47pm

[KathrynH]

What I say every day on the way back from the park...

"You're standing up in the wagon. You can sit or walk. Do you want to walk? Ok. Now you want to sit in the wagon? Ok. You're standing up in the wagon. You can sit or walk. Do you want to walk? Ok. Now you want to sit in the wagon? Ok. You're standing up in the wagon. You can sit or walk. Do you want to walk? Ok. Now you want to sit in the wagon? Ok. "

What I think every day on the way back from the park...

"SERIOUSLY? YOU'RE GOING TO STAND IN THE WAGON AGAIN! YOU'VE GOT TWO CHOICES AND YOU KNOW WHAT THEY ARE. I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO CARRY YOU. I KNOW YOU WANT ME TO CARRY YOU, BUT I REFUSE TO AKNOWLEDGE THAT. YOU WIN EVERYTHING ELSE. I WILL WIN THIS BATTLE! AND YES DH, IT IS A HILL TO DIE ON!"

[jimblejamble]

Jude. I love you. I really do. But please stop screaming at the top of your lungs all day!!! It hurts my ears and gives me a headache. Screaming at me for 20 minutes straight, hitting everything including my chest, because I took the chair away so you wouldn't climb up onto the counter then fall off and CRACK YO' DAMN SKULL OPEN is not acceptable, EVER. Nor is that shrill, blood-curdling screaming okay when I decide not to have you overdose on your delicious chewy multivitamins, or when I put something breakable up where you can't reach, or push your hand away because I'm sick and tired of you reaching into my shirt to squeeze my boob as hard as you can--you've been weaned since April. Enough is enough. If you are going to scream that way it better because someone is chasing after you with a chainsaw. Stop with the attitude too, please. You will be fine and happy and if I look over at you and say "Hey sweetie" you glare at me, get extremely grumpy and throw yourself onto the floor in a huff. What the hell is up with that? I'm trying to be nice even though I'm really sick of the screaming. Acting like I'm the most horrible person in the world really doesn't do you any favors, kid.

[amberskyfire]

Stop saying "I was just-" EVERY SINGLE TIME I ask you not to do something! Argh! When I say "stop that, please," don't tell me "I was just kicking your foot a little bit." I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE FREAKING DOING!!! THAT'S WHY I ASKED YOU TO STOP!!! Do I look like some kind of blind moron?! ARGH!

[journeymom]

Originally Posted by bellytobelly 

ROTFLMAO.  Ohmigosh, this is my 7 year old!!  She actually moved to the back seat in the minivan at a stoplight, because her sleeping brother's breathing was too loud- he's 2!  Hang in there...I'm told it gets better...?!

Just now seeing this. I hesitate to say it (no I don't, I share this gleefully ),  but my dear daughter, whom I love so much, will be 17 years old in one month.  I'd say the freak-outs at her brother peaked when she was in middle school, and have abated a bit as they've both grown up and gained some self-control.  But this neuroticism is a part of her personality.

But I suppose you're still correct, while it got worse for a while, it did get better. 

[Surfacing]

STOP WRITING POO ON YOUR SISTER'S HAND!!!

STOP PULLING DOWN MY PANTS!!!!

Please. Thank you.

Edited by Surfacing - 1/4/12 at 8:47pm

[blackbird2]

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU???  WHY DO YOU ALL JUST WANT ME ME ME ME ME ALL THE TIME?  WHEN IS THE TIME FOR MOM??  WHY DO YOU INSIST ON THE SAME DAMN SONG EVERY NAP TIME?  (and then not sleep) WHY DO YOU CALL FOR ME THEN LIE THERE THRASHING ON THE FLOOR REFUSING TO DO OR SAY ANYTHING?  WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST SLEEP AND LEAVE ME ALONE?  AAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!  WHY ARE YOU STILL SCREAMING?  CAN'T YOU GO ON VACATION FOR A WEEK?  DIDN'T I JUST MEDIATE A HUGE TANTRUM LAST NIGHT?  ARE YOU STARTING A FRESH TANTRUM STAGE JUST TO SHOW MY PARENTS WHAT A GREAT PARENT I AM JUST BEFORE WE VISIT THEM?  I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH ONE, ONE, ONE! PERSON AT A TIME!

seriously, what am i supposed to do with you?

<sigh>  i need to read more upthread for some good laughs.

[Mittsy]

WHY ARE YOU FREAKING OUT AT EVERYTHING, AND IT'S ONLY 9AM KID?! NO, YOU CAN NOT THROW BLOCKS ACROSS THE LIVING ROOM!! WHY?! BECAUSE THEY WILL HURT SOMEONE! NO, THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN THROW THE COOKIE JAR EITHER BUDDY!!!