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Feel like yelling at your child? Yell at this thread instead! - Page 49

post #961 of 1059
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveOurBabies View Post


To my DH: I hate you. Why do you get to go to work?

ROTFLMAO.gif

 

To this I will add, I don't care that you are sooo tired from traveling for work.  Even sitting in an airport waiting room sounds like the most luxurious vacation right about now so stop telling me that you are *so sick* of eating restaurant food and having to work nights while on the road.  Really.  Because I am *this* close to gouging out your eyeballs because today in Target I had three children who had to poo simultaneously and that SUCKED.

post #962 of 1059

DD: OMG! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Why do you scream "NO" every time I ask you to do something?! SERIOUSLY! And stop smearing your food all over your face when you eat! You are FOUR FREAKIN' YEARS OLD! Not twelve months old! You should be over this $#@& by now! I'm tired of bathing you twice a day because you've smeared food in your hair AGAIN!

 

DH: I love being a mom, but don't you ever come home and say that your cushy job is harder than "getting to play with kids all day in your pajamas." It's not a f&%$#ing slumber party! "Playing" as you so sweetly put it means having to sing "Row Row Row Your Boat" for the 3187346461th time that day, making slime - AGAIN -, cleaning up vomit, wiping snot, trying to figure out how to cook a meal without the baby screaming bloody murder because he's been put down, forgetting to feed myself and being in my pajamas when you get home not because "OMG, I can stay in my pajamas all day, this is great!" but because I WASN'T PHYSICALLY CAPABLE of finding a moment in which to clean the filth off of my body! What, you think I actually LIKE smelling like this? Stop sighing and rolling your eyes because I hand you the baby and beg for FIVE MINUTES in the shower!
 

post #963 of 1059

STOP! STOP! STOP!

 

STOP DEMANDING SO MUCH OF ME.

STOP WHINING.

STOP YELLING AT ME.

 

JUST GO AWAY.

post #964 of 1059

QUIT F-ING HITTING EACH OTHER AND SHRIEKING LIKE CRAZY PEOPLE WHEN YOU DON'T GET YOUR WAY!!!

 

Slow down and listen every now and then.

 

Don't shout "NO" at me when I'm giving you a consequence for being mean.

 

Get in the D*MN BED and quit getting up over and over for hours.

post #965 of 1059

Oh I love this thread, just what I needed.

 

To DS 5:  BODY DOWN, I SAID BODY DOWN; you have to go poop, please wipe faster, (10 minutes later) AREN'T YOU DONE, LETS GO, FLUSH THE TOILLETT, (5 minutes later) COME ON!!! TELL ME THE TOILLETT IS NOT CLOGGED AGAIN?  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

 

To DD 8: please take your things off our bed (little bits of things she brings home from my work and breaks apart), (later) PLEASE REMOVE YOUR THINGS, NOWWWWW.

 

And, Time to get up; 'I am stretching' 4 minutes later, TIME TO GET UP NOW NOWWWWWW. 

 

After pick up, ok time to get out of the car, everyone just sits there.  OUT OF THE CAR NOW, I HAVE TO GO UPSTAIR AND CLOSE THE GARAGE AND NOT LEAVE YOU IN THE STREET, OR MAYBE TODAY I DO WANT TO LEAVE YOU IN THE STREET. GET IN THE FREAKIN HOUSE NOW PLEASE NOW GO STOP FIGHTING AND WASTING TIME.  I HAVE TO GET DINER STARTED.  YOU SAY YOU ARE HUNGRY, THEN HELLLLLLLLPPPPP ME BY COOOOOOOOPPPPPEERRRRRATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

post #966 of 1059

Baby boy, I love you to pieces, but oh, for the love of God, just once... JUST ONCE SLEEP FOR MORE THAN 45 MINUTES AT NIGHT WITHOUT WAKING TO NURSE!!!!!

 

AND YOU TWO, 4 YEAR OLD AND 6 YEAR OLD... IF YOU TWO CANNOT STOP FIGHTING AND HURTING EACH OTHER, I SWEAR I AM GOING TO SELL YOU TO THE FIRST RICH POP STAR WHO WILL TAKE YOU!!!!

 

There, much better.

I think I will sub to this thread and come back daily to get sh!t out of my system orngbiggrin.gif
 

post #967 of 1059

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nem0bkErGVY

 

Every body needs to see this!  The Mum Song
 

post #968 of 1059
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shami View Post

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nem0bkErGVY

 

Every body needs to see this!  The Mum Song
 


Bahahaha!

post #969 of 1059

I just found myself yelling:  "Butt + dishes = NO!  Butt + dishes = NO!" into the phone repeatedly, thanks to you, dear husband.  I can always count on you to bring out the best in me.

 

We got about two hours of sleep last night.  Little Miss is teething.  You know this, because you WOKE ME UP to tell me you couldn't take it any more and were leaving the bed. 

Despite her abbreviated overnight rest period, she was bright eyed and bushy tailed at 8am sharp, and since I had a walking date, I was up as well.  Oh boy.  Then I got to STARVE TO DEATH while waiting for her to wake from her extended morning nap.  Then I got mashed up hamburger thrown on my head.  I decided to clean the master suite, since it is currently BEYOND THE EFFIN' PALE in there, so I open the bathroom cupboard to find my scrub brush and what do I find instead, after digging around for a bit?  A giant, scary black cricket.  Which I have killed, dear husband, I have done battle with the beast and emerged victorious.  But no scrub brush.  Why?  Because you left it in the kitchen cubby, with the sponge we use to do the dishes.  After I have been using it on the bathroom floor.  But I didn't look there, because who would have left it there?  No, instead I called you, to see where you may have spirited my scrub brush to, since you are FAMOUS for relocating things for NO GOSH DARN EFFIN' REASON!

Hence the yelling about why products that clean where our butts do their business and products that clean where our mouths make it possible for our butts to do our business should NOT BE ALL MIXED UP!  Nevermind that it will, apparently, kill you to put something back right where you find it.

 

To recap:  Two hours sleep.  Giant scary cricket.  Must clean bathroom before it explodes.  And you added to all that because apparently you want to sleep outside tonight.

 

 

help.gif
 

post #970 of 1059

lol.gif

post #971 of 1059

This thread is genius. I needed this. I really needed this today. Here it goes:

 

 

To my husband: STOP WITH THE SARCASTIC RESPONSES TO THE KIDS! STOP! THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT DADDY'S JUST BEING AN ASSHOLE. STOP! STOP! STOP! Also: When you see the 3 yr old about to fly off the coffee table like he's Jimmy Snuka, stop him. FUCKING STOP HIM!!!!! And, yes, every time he injures himself it IS on your watch and it is because YOU'RE NOT WATCHING!!!!!

 

To my 3yr old DS who likes to run up to me and scream a number of complaints, directives, missives: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S NOT NICE, IS IT?

 

And to my 1 yr old DS: LEAVE THE CATS ALONE!!!! THEY DO NOT WANT TO PLAY WITH YOU!!!!!! NO, HENRY DOES NOT WANT YOU TO RIDE HIM. STOP IT!!!!

post #972 of 1059

oh yeah.....

STOP WAKING UP THE MINUTE I TRY TO GET OUT OF BED!!!! I'ts nice of me to let you both sleep with us, instead of leaving you to cry like most of the people we know, so give me a break back and let me get up and stay the FFFFF asleep for just 3 minutes so I can gulp a cup of coffee. 5 minutes and I could even get a shower with the coffee. 15 minutes, and I could get all the chores done that it will take me ALL DAY to do with the help of a 3 year old and a 1 year old. And DH, thank you, but really, if you bring me coffee and leave it sitting 10 feet away while knowing I can't get out of bed to drink it, it's NOT HELPFUL. That wasn't a grateful look I was giving you. Dear 3 year old, after waking up the minute I try to sneak out of bed, screaming at me not to touch your pillow, no you DIDN'T. I will touch your damn pillow anytime I want to, because I'm bigger than you, AND I CAN.

And, to the 14 year old geriatric dog, please STOP dropping bits of your food on the floor next to your bowl. Those bits taste the same as the other bits. EAT THEM or LEAVE THEM IN THE BOWL but I'm sick of cleaning up drooly dog slobbery food pieces from the rug, as well as the ants they draw. I really have enough to do so STOP IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh, that felt nice. Thank you for this thread.

post #973 of 1059
My 15 year old dog does that! What the heck! Goofy old dogs.
post #974 of 1059

Please don't talk so much, please not all the time...mama needs some quite time. STOP TALKING STOP IT. LEAVE ME ALONE FOR 5 MINUTES

post #975 of 1059

NO BITE NO BITE NO BITE. ARRRRGH

post #976 of 1059

no, you arent hungry, i just gave you food. its time for bed.. go the f**k to sleep already!

post #977 of 1059

DS WHY are you being aggressive with kids, from what I've observed it's mainly other boys, who disagree or don't listen/obey whatever you have to say?! I thought we were done with this shit years ago, WTF HAPPENED! I feel like I can't take you anywhere until we get this under control no matter how long this takes! Please help me figure out how to help you out so we don't go crazy together....

post #978 of 1059

So I'm not the only one who wants to cuss out my child, even though it's totally inappropriate.It's nice to be able to vent to someone besides the impressionable child. :)

post #979 of 1059
What is it with the sandals? You beeline for my nasty, worn out, stanky tevas and shove them in your mouth every freaking time I don't lock them up but you drop handfuls of delicious organic food over the edge of your highchair and then look at it longingly! Clearly you're capable of putting things in your mouth! And stop drinking the bath water!
post #980 of 1059

Ok so after three years of putting up with being ignored by my DD:

 

MOMMY SAID STOP JUMPING ON THE COUCH!! DD:"Im not jumping, im doing Gymnastics..." Me: STOP DOING GYMNASTICS ON MY COUCH!!! THATS HOW THE LAST ONE BROKE AND HOW YOU BROKE YOUR BED FRAME!!!

 

STOP KICKING YOUR FATHER!!! HIS RIBS ARE BROKEN!!! YOU ARE HURTING HIM!!! STOP KICKING YOUR FATHER!!! (as she is "doing gymnastics' on my couch)

 

NO SODA ITS TOO LATE!! GO TO BED NO SODA!!! ITS AFTER 7 NO SODA!!!(at about 10pm)

 

GO TO BED!!GO TO BED!!GO TO BED!!(at about 12:30am)

 

STOP JUMPING FROM THE TABLE TO THE COUCH!! GET OFF MY TABLE!! GET OFF MY TABLE!! GET OFF MY TABLE!!!

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