A Weekend Away - Would You Go?

[just_lily]

I have an opportunity to go away for a church Woman's Retreat and I am having a really hard time deciding what to do. Part of me really wants to go, but another part feels oh so guilty.

Part of it is the cost... $130. It is actually a pretty good deal because it includes accommodation, all meals and snacks, and a couple of speakers, but money is pretty tight right now. I think I will be able to squirrel away the money from various places over the next month, but I still feel bad about spending so much money on myself.

And the biggest issue, my daughter. I have never been away from her overnight. I am home with her every day. I leave her with Daddy in order to run errands on my own, and we have left her with Granny a few times in order to go for dinner or a movie or something, but that is only for a few hours. This retreat goes from Friday evening to Sunday afternoon!

She will be 16 months at the time of the retreat. She isn't nursing, so that is a non-issue. My DF is a very loving Daddy and she will be happy with him, but I am not sure how overwhelmed he will feel having to deal with house, and dogs, and kid all weekend all alone (although I must admit giving him two days in my shoes is pretty appealing as well...).

The thought of two days and nights of uninterrupted sleep, no cooking, no cleaning, no diapers, no dogs, and lots of time to visit with friends, read, and work on my craft projects is nearly enough to make me sink to my knees with gratitude. But the guilt.... oh man, the guilt. Ugh.

This retreat is held annually, but we are currently TTC, so if I get pregnant soon odds are I will have a much younger babe next year. This may be my only chance for YEARS. It is less than a half-hour drive's away, so I won't be too far if I need to come home for some reason.

I am so torn, but need to decide and commit fairly soon. I keep going back and forth.... WWYD?

[Catubodua]

i say go for it!

you didn't stop having wants and needs of your own simply because you are a mom now. i know it's not a popular viewpoint on here, but my personal opinion is that women do themselves, their partners and their children a disservice to always suppress their own desires.

[limabean]

Yes, I would go. I don't buy into the idea of a mother feeling guilt about leaving their kids with the other parent.

[Chloe'sMama]

I would go too. Nursing is the only issue that keeps me from leaving dd overnight and since that is not an issue.

Go and HAVE FUN!!!

[runnerbrit]

I would go.

[Evergreen]

I don't think I would have been able to go at that age with either kid. Number one nursed too much and number two was a T-total Mommies' girl. When I did finally leave DD1 overnight she was 2 and it was fine (she was still nursing too but that was a non issue then). I still haven't felt comfortable leaving dd2, but have a conference planned for 3 days next month so I will have to cross that bridge then. It sounds like you are more worried about dh than dd. Trust me. He'll be fine. The house may be messier than you've ever seen it when you return, but hopefully you'll have had such a good time it won't piss you off too badly.

[MtBikeLover]

I would absolutely go!

[ChetMC]

Go

I would go. It sounds like things will be fine at home while you have a break.

[sarahr]

I would go. Letting your dh and dd form their own relationship, independent of you, will be good for both of them.

[JL83]

Go. I went out really late once when DD was that age. We thought it was going to be a disaster, but it was like she knew I wasn't available and accepted DH.

[flower01]

Go! in the long run, what you gain from the retreat will benefit your DD. nak

[Amandamanda]

i would go! have fun!

[SparklingGemini]

Can I be the voice of dissent?

At 16 months, there is no way I would have left for a weekend away from my DD.

Even now at two, the only time I've "left" her is when I'm visiting with my mom(either at my house or hers) and I leave them alone for an hour or so while I do crafts or garden or shower or clean the house etc.

But that's me.

[butterfly_mommy]

I think that 16 mons is too young to be away from mama for that long if it is not an emergency. Sorry, it does sound like a lovely time however.

[TCMoulton]

Go! Your daughter will be fine with her dad and you will have an opportunity to recharge your batteries!

[fairymom]

GO!!!!!!

I used to be able to go to something very simular 2x a year and I'd come back so refreshed and happy. I am not able to do this anymore (its not avail) but would still be if I could! I feel it makes me a better mom to be able to take time for myself and recharge my batteries!

As for the cost- how often do you really spend money on yourself? If not often then don't feel guilty- its not something frivolous its for your health! I was a single mom when I was going on mine and money was beyond tight but spending the $150 was for the best and I never regretted it after. If you can find the money its meant to be !

GO have fun and recharge! oh dad and babe will be fine- its only for a short time and it may make everyone appreciate each other and what they do that much more!

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by butterfly_mommy

I think that 16 mons is too young to be away from mama for that long if it is not an emergency. Sorry, it does sound like a lovely time however.

I agree. Also, even if you get pregnant, it will be easier to bring a young baby along than bring a mobile toddler along. I know it sometimes stinks to have to give up something we want, but they are only little adn so needy for a short time. Go next year with your new baby

[LynnS6]

Yes, I would. I think time to renew yourself is crucial. Being a good parent takes mental and spiritual energy. Furthermore, giving your dd time to be with dad and see dad as a primary care giver is a good thing.

I went on retreat (same time frame) when dd was 20 months and still nursing. I WOH so I had a pump, brought it and pumped when needed. I also left early on Sunday.

Could you go Friday night and come home late Saturday?

[lifeguard]

GOOOOO!!!!

Taking care of mommy is important for mommy to be her best.

Do you have time between now & then to leave her with dh for a couple longer periods so they can get a little more accustomed to the schedule together (like most of the day on a weekend or an evening or two)?

[vbactivist]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

Yes, I would. I think time to renew yourself is crucial. Being a good parent takes mental and spiritual energy. Furthermore, giving your dd time to be with dad and see dad as a primary care giver is a good thing.

I went on retreat (same time frame) when dd was 20 months and still nursing. I WOH so I had a pump, brought it and pumped when needed. I also left early on Sunday.
Could you go Friday night and come home late Saturday?

My mom worked some of the years I was growing up. I know that it upset me when she had business trips - I felt like I didn't get to see her at all those weeks (well, I didn't - she was only home for a couple of hours at night before we went to bed, I would have hated for her to be gone on the weekend, too)! I can't imagine a young abby or toddler not getting to really connect with mom for that period of time