Looking for Books on Weaning a Toddler

[tea4tamara]

I would like to wean my daughter, who is 22 months old. She LOVES to nurse. I don't mind nursing her, but she's barely eating and has only gained 1.5 pounds in 10 months. My doctor said she's not super concerned but thinks that weaning my daughter might be wise, because that would encourage her to eat more.
Every time I try and discourage nursing, she wants to nurse even more. Meal times are a nightmare -- she climbs on me and tries to nurse while I'm eating.
She wakes up every night and needs milk -- she won't accept any substitutes.
I love nursing my daughter but I think I need to stop for my own sanity. Does anyone know of any books that give advice on gently weaning toddlers? I want it to be as painless as possible for her.

[aikigypsy]

Me too, except that DD is only 21 months old and I'm newly pregnant, too!

My DD has weighed 21-22 lbs for just about forever. I don't know how long it's been since she gained any significant weight, although she does seem to be getting better about eating solids. I know that lots of women nurse through pregnancy and then tandem nurse, but even when just DD was on a growth spurt, I found it exhausting, and I think that 2 years old is an OK time to wean.

[Devaya]

There's one called 'the nursing mother's guide to weaning' (I think that's the title!) by Sears, Huggins, and Ziedrich. It's very helpful and gentle. There's lots in there about toddlers.

[D_McG]

Has she been evaluated by an OT at all? I wonder if she has some kind of sensory issue going on. What happens if you leave her. Does she eat then? I'd want to make sure that she CAN eat before you start to wean.

I weaned at around the same time. DS preferred to nurse but ate fine when I wasn't there. I don't have any book recs on MLW. But I just sort of put us on a schedule where I set the times we could nurse and just said no any other time. I did this and then eliminated one of our 'times' each week. The whole thing took 2 mos. So I would say no... tell him when he COULD nurse next and then told him all the things we could do instead of nursing. The first times I did this were a bit rough but we made it through.

[SparklingGemini]

Originally Posted by aikigypsy

My DD has weighed 21-22 lbs for just about forever.

This is my DD too. She's 26.5 months and still weighs 23lbs. Its seems like her doctor's visits for at least the past 8-10 months have been the same.

I'd be concerned that weaning would have an adverse effect and cause more weight loss than gain. You might want to consider that.

However, How Weaning Happens by Diane Bengson is a great read. I think there might be a few segments on MLW in Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Norma J. Bumgarner.

[spirit4ever]

Originally Posted by SparklingGemini

However, How Weaning Happens by Diane Bengson is a great read. I think there might be a few segments on MLW in Mothering Your Nursing Toddler by Norma J. Bumgarner.
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Maybe instead of weaning just yet could you set more limits to try to up her solid intake, say nurse in the morning, then before/after nap, again at bedtime? Complete weaning of a child who does not like to eat is also a bit of a concern...

[tea4tamara]

Originally Posted by D_McG

Has she been evaluated by an OT at all? I wonder if she has some kind of sensory issue going on. What happens if you leave her. Does she eat then? I'd want to make sure that she CAN eat before you start to wean.

What's an OT? Not familiar with that term...

Yes, she can eat when I'm not around, but its very small amounts. And she has NO PROBLEM eating chips or cookies or other things that everyone around me keeps sneaking her when they think I'm not looking.

[D_McG]

Originally Posted by tea4tamara

What's an OT? Not familiar with that term...

Yes, she can eat when I'm not around, but its very small amounts. And she has NO PROBLEM eating chips or cookies or other things that everyone around me keeps sneaking her when they think I'm not looking.

An OT is an occupational therapist. They sometimes work with feeding/sensory issues.

If she does eat when you're not around then I would feel comfortable restricting nursing if that's what you want to do. That's what I did, anyway. At the very least some nursing manners to keep everything feel more sane. No more climbing on you/nursing at the table. I never allowed that (except for a couple of times when he was sick).

Good luck!

[Ruthla]

I don't think you need to completely wean in order to get her to eat more foods. In fact, I'd be afraid to completely wean her if she's not eating much- a small setback (say, a minor illness) and she may end up getting dehydrated and/or losing weight.

I'd start by setting limits, such as "no nursing until after you've eaten". If you're feeling physically drained from all the milk-making, you might want to introduce cow's or goat's milk into her diet, perhaps as part of a bedtime snack. For now, I'd focus on "good stuff to feed her" rather than on "cutting back on nursing".

If you do decide to completely wean her, you'd need to get her eating other foods first anyway. So all the suggestions in the above paragraph are "step one" in complete weaning. Once she's eating more and nursing less, you can re-evaluate. Is nursing more enjoyable now that you're doing less of it, or do you really feel "done" and want to stop? You don't need to make that decision until after you've cut back on nursing and she's eating more foods.