Baby Shower, mother intends to bottlefeed.

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

I'm invited to a shower for an acquaintance-- judging from registry (about half is bottle-feeding stuff), she plans to bottlefeed. She *is* buying a boppy, but that doesn't mean much.

I don't know her well, and I don't want to make a big "statement" (especially since, rarely, there are personal problems that would prevent it, and you never know)-- but I was a reluctant breastfeeder, and the choice to breastfeed is without a doubt the best I have made so far. I am SO, SO thankful to all of the people who were bold enough to encourage me to do so.

Any gift ideas that might subtly help/encourage breastfeeding? If they pass around a baby-tips book, I will definitely write down "breastfeed as long as possible," or someting like that, but I don't know if that will happen.

Breastpads and lanolin seem a bit too obvious, and maybe not the best advert for the loveliness of breastfeeding

[nannymom]

Did she register for a pump? If not and she is planning to formula feed there probably isn't much a subtle gift will do to change that.

When ever someone I know is planning to pump I always buy them a gift of pumping supplies such as freezer bags and breast pads, etc. Anything to encourage success.

[krystyn33]

DR. Sears--The Baby Book. Great section on breastfeeding and benefits and suggestions for bottle feeding in a loving, attached way.

[listipton]

My standard book is "So That's What They're For" by Janet Tamaro because it tackles breastfeeding with humor and was my favorite to read when I was learning about bfing myself. In the cover I write a little note, usually something like 'When I was having my first child, I was interested in breastfeeding and didn't know anyone close by to talk to or ask about it. This book answered a lot of my questions and really put me at ease with the whole process. I hope you find it informative and helpful! Congratulations on your new Loved One!"

I have recently started putting a list of links in the cover like kellymom, mothering, LLL, and Best for Babes.

I also purchase either a Maya Wrap or Moby carrier (depends on my mood because I love them both ), regardless if they've asked for one or not. Is it forward? Absolutely. But as we see on this board over and over, women aren't getting the message about breastfeeding or the support. If we don't give it to them, who will and how else will it become mainstreamed? I know that I didn't even consider breastfeeding until a wise lady gave me that book and a 'yes you can & why WOULDN'T you' attitude .

[MaterPrimaePuellae]

Originally Posted by krystyn33

DR. Sears--The Baby Book. Great section on breastfeeding and benefits and suggestions for bottle feeding in a loving, attached way.

Just got home from the bookstore with a copy for her; I think this is a great idea.

listipton, I like your idea of writing a note-- I think I'll probably try to include a bit of a plug for breastfeeding in there.

I did register for bottles and liners since I was so ambivalent about nursing, and I only ever used them for pumped milk, so I know it's possible! Here's hoping for the best!

[_betsy_]

I had to go back to work, so if I'd had a shower or a registry, bottles and stuff would have been on a registry. You never know, maybe she has a second-hand pump already given to her or something.

The Dr. Sears Baby Book is a good idea!

[Romana]

I had tons of bottles and assorted stuff on my registry because I was planning to pump (had to go back to work). Is there any way you can find out through someone else whether she plans to breastfeed?

If not, I agree that the Dr. Sears book is a good idea.

[mama k nj]

I usually email ahead of time, either to the mom or someone close to her just to feel them out. I love to give a "mama basket" that includes breastfeeding supplies as my standard shower gift. I simply state that I was thinking about a gift related to breastfeeding and didn't want to offend if the mom is not planning on it. Of course I've never gotten a flat NO answer. Ususally it's more like "I'd like to give it a try."
If I did get a NO, I'd probably go the AP route with a copy of The Baby Book and a baby sling of some sort.

[OkiMom]

I had bottles on my registry as well for my first child. I had to return back to work when she was 6 weeks old. So having bottles doesn't necessarily mean that she isn't going to try breastfeeding.
As for a subtle gift, I don't know any honestly. Is it possible to feel it out beforehand? Maybe talk to a close friend or relative of hers?

[Evergreen]

I have attended a few showers for people who intend to formula feed, or who are going back to work. I used to just get gifts that had nothing to do with feeding; clothes, car seats, swings, towels etc. Now I get BPA free bottles, because I figure they're using bottles no matter how passionate I am about breastfeeding why not help them do it as healthfully as possible?

[sapphire_chan]

I'd also bring along a copy of "Working Mother, Nursing Mother" and if it turns out she's planning to FF because she has to work or is planning to pump, either way, you could offer the book.

[Ianthe]

I would ask the mother how she plans to feed her baby... if she is adamant about FF, give a non-feeding related gift: sling, clothes, burp clothes, bibs, etc.

[Poodge]

She could be planning on pumping if she is going back to work. I had bottles on my registry because of that reason. (Of course I also had other things that made it clear I was BFing - pump parts, ect.)

I would get her the Boppy and then the Baby Book. Both support BFing.

[phathui5]

My standard book is "So That's What They're For" by Janet Tamaro because it tackles breastfeeding with humor and was my favorite to read when I was learning about bfing myself.

I love that book! I'd get that and the Boppy.

[SashaBear]

I had bottles on my registry even though I planned on nursing. I knew I was going to leave him a little (ie hardly at all!) so he was going to need a bottle

[Heavenly]

This is just an acquaintance? Get her the boppy pillow. Or get her a bath with a bunch of bath stuff in it. Whether or not she - someone who you barely know - is going to breastfeeding or not is really none of your business. She may have a very good reason for having to bottlefeed and she shouldn't have to justify it to anyone.

[JessicaS]

I would approach it with someone who knows her better.

I have a very dear friend. We haven't been close lately but his wife recently had a baby. I had asked him about bf a bit on IM and he let me know she had a mastectomy when she was about 16. I am really glad I asked. I would have felt awful if I found out about that after buying BF items.

[Talula Fairie]

How do you know she plans on using formula? Is it possible she plans on going back to work and pumping, or plans on using the occasional bottle for a mom's night out or something? Bottles don't always = formula feeder.

[zinemama]

Originally Posted by Heavenly

This is just an acquaintance? Get her the boppy pillow. Or get her a bath with a bunch of bath stuff in it. Whether or not she - someone who you barely know - is going to breastfeeding or not is really none of your business. She may have a very good reason for having to bottlefeed and she shouldn't have to justify it to anyone.

I agree. If you know she's going to bottlefeed, what is your aim here? To give her something she really needs for the baby - which needn't be anything feeding-related - or to none-too-subtly make a point? I can't imagine how the latter would possibly be appreciated.

[WC_hapamama]

Originally Posted by zinemama

I agree. If you know she's going to bottlefeed, what is your aim here? To give her something she really needs for the baby - which needn't be anything feeding-related - or to none-too-subtly make a point? I can't imagine how the latter would possibly be appreciated.

Ditto. Honestly, I think it would be kind of rude to push the issue.