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daycare kids showing up w/ processed food. wwyd? - Page 2

post #21 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liquesce View Post
I'm sorry, because I definitely don't mean this in a personal way, but when this tone of question comes up on here it just always reads to me mostly like "I want to brag on my child's diet and knock parents who feed kids things I don't like all in one go." The fact is a lot of kids do eat boxed mac'n'cheese, etc, enjoy it, and do manage to thrive on it. Should you bring it up with the parents, I would be very careful ... if you were to handle it privately similarly to how you have publicly ("nasty, weird, funny tasting 'food' vs. my child's sprouted breads and other sundry 'good stuff'") it may not bode well for the future of your career as a daycare worker to these children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by staceychev View Post
You know, unless you have a conversation with the parents and put it in terms of "you're spending a lot of packaged food...would you like me to cook," I would find undermining the parents' nutritional decisions very insulting. No, I don't feed my kids that way, and no, I don't think it's healthy for the kids to eat that way. But honestly, if my DCP undermined my decisions as a parent that way, I'd be really PO'ed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistymama View Post
I would be very careful in how you approach the twin's parents. Make it more of a "I'd like to feed all of the kids the same thing, would you mind if I cooked and fed your children the same things I make for dd? And what kinds of foods do your children like so I can plan to include them?"

I always get this "feeling" from these sort of posts - and the way they are worded, like yours OP, just rubs me the wrong way. Even as someone who puts healthy eating as a high priority.

I agree with all these posts. If my DCP approached me and critiqued my way of feeding my kids, I'd be mad. There was a point, not too long ago, during the winter where fresh produce was really expensive where DH was layed off and I was working minimal hours. I had to be really stingy with the fruit and veggies. I could buy a huge case of mac 'n cheese for $3.99. I could get a box of granola bars for 99 cents. If someone had critiqued the food choices of my kids, I would've happily changed it if they paid for the food.
post #22 of 101
Here's an idea: ask if it's ok to switch to lunches prepared and served by you, and raise your fee by a couple dollars a day. Present the idea in the interest of convenience for everyone and so the kids all can eat the same thing.
post #23 of 101
But just because the OP serves her child "healthy foods" doesn't mean the daycare children are going to eat it. If the OP wants to raise her daycare costs and do lunches for all the kids, she needs to be more adaptable to the way the other children eat. Chances are if they eat a standard american diet they aren't going to readily accept chickpeas and olive oil for lunch.
post #24 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enudely View Post
I just started watching 3.5 year old twins and they showed up with a big bag of total junk food! Nasty, cheap mac and cheese w/ 100 ingredients, shrimp flavored top ramen, weird jello fruit bowl things, chocolate pudding snacks, animal crackers with high fructose corn syrup as one of the top ingredients, and tuna and mayo (the only good thing in there). These things are obviously meant to be for lunches, but my 3 y.o dd does not eat this kind of stuff!! She actually wouldn't eat the mac and cheese today "because of the funny taste" (she's used to the good stuff), and I doubt she would eat the other weird snacks either, they would probably just taste nasty to her.
Should I offer the twins the food their mom brought and my dd something else? Should I just not offer the food they brought? My dd is used to stuff like garbanzo beans w/ olive oil and vinegar, lots of veggies, whole grain, sprouted bread, etc.... whole foods. The twins looked a little weirded out when I put out cherry tomatoes and carrot sticks w/ their lunch
wwyd?
If I were to start doing daycare, I would have to provide the food myself, adjust my fee for the difference, and hope that "organic", "healthy", etc. would be selling points.

I think that food and DCPs is a common situation. Our DCP used to moan and make comments because my dd arrived with organic yogurt, oatmeal, fresh fruit, pasta and wraps instead of the usual fare. She felt as though I were somehow insulting her or the food she bought in bulk at SAM'S Club for the kids whose parents paid the extra $5/day for her to provide meals. For me, it was just cheaper to provide my own, and, of course, I wanted my child to have what I served at home. We eventually found a common ground where I would bring in big 10# bags of organic raisins and 20# bags of apples for the kids (and not charge her for it so it was $$ in her pocket) and I would pay the extra on the days where she would order in pizza.

I think it would be a challenge to approach an individual parent and that if it happens once, the chances that it can happen again with other parents is high. I would consider -- if it's at all feasible on your end -- providing the meals and having the parents provide the snacks, or just providing all of the food yourself.
post #25 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pepper44 View Post
if she had considered something he was eating was bothering him and she FREAKED out
She was feeling guilty about what she was giving her kid.
post #26 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by staceychev View Post
You know, unless you have a conversation with the parents and put it in terms of "you're spending a lot of packaged food...would you like me to cook," I would find undermining the parents' nutritional decisions very insulting. No, I don't feed my kids that way, and no, I don't think it's healthy for the kids to eat that way. But honestly, if my DCP undermined my decisions as a parent that way, I'd be really PO'ed.
Ditto that.

You could always gently suggest healthier alternatives to the junk too, ie: Annie's mac n' cheese rather than the day-glo orange stuff, fruit canned in it's own juice,

I'll also ditto someone else's sentiment that I wouldn't feed your child the other children's food without asking their parents if sharing is ok.

I've found over the years (I've been a mom for 12 years now) that people are generally more accepting of my parenting practices if I'm not looking down my nose at theirs.
post #27 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrsboyko View Post
She is probably sending foods she thinks are convenient for you to prepare.
She might be sending foods that she feels she can afford.

OP - do you have any idea what her finances are like? When money is tight, especially if people aren't used to cooking from scratch, boxed mac & cheese, and cheap ramen can be really appealing - they fill the kid up, and they don't cost much.
post #28 of 101
I think the following three points are worth considering:

1. Why is your kid eating their food?
2. You should prepare for all the children, as that's normal child-care stuff.
3. There is really not a good way to tell their parent(s) that you think this stuff is junk, so the best thing to do would be to offer to cook at a lower cost.

However, there are a couple of other points.

One is that children used to the easy calories and easy taste of starch, syrup and salt may not like healthy food, and you don't want to be sending them home hungry. That could be a challenge.

The second is that while I understand that not everyone can afford real food, that doesn't mean it's some kind of lifestyle choice. It's a health issue. Three meals like that a week would seriously affect a person's palate, and thus food choices, and thus, health. So I don't think it's overreacting to demand decent food.
post #29 of 101
I think this is just one of those things that you have to be willing to put up with if you're going to be caring for someone else's child.... You need to do what the parents want done, and if you're not comfortable with that, you need to find different kids.
I'd feed the kids what the parents send, and feed your own child what you want him/her to eat. It may not always be easy, but it comes with the package of providing care with your child in tow, too.
post #30 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
She was feeling guilty about what she was giving her kid.
Or it is also possible that the mom was feeling attacked and accused by her daycare provider.
post #31 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
Whenever my kids see other kids eating trash while they have their healthy snack packed, they would whine for those crackers/cookies/chips/etc instead of eating their snack.
Really? Your kids sit around and watch other children eat crackers/cookies/chips/etc from trash cans? That's so sad I hope you would step in at that point and teach your children some compassion about how not everyone can afford food, etc. Maybe get them helping out in a food bank or homeless shelter or something.



Quote:
Originally Posted by babygrant View Post
But just because the OP serves her child "healthy foods" doesn't mean the daycare children are going to eat it. If the OP wants to raise her daycare costs and do lunches for all the kids, she needs to be more adaptable to the way the other children eat. Chances are if they eat a standard american diet they aren't going to readily accept chickpeas and olive oil for lunch.
: Just because you WANT these daycare kids to eat "your" way, does not mean they will eat what you serve. And, personally, if my kid was coming home from daycare hungry and saying they didn't like what you made- you can be sure I'd start sending food again. No child deserves to go hungry, for any reason.
post #32 of 101
Thread Starter 
thanks for the responses, everyone. Reading my op, I can see why I sounded a little snobby, however, I just had that tone because I figured everyone on this board would see where I was coming from. In truth, I respect the mom a lot for many reasons. Also, I will be the first to admit, I am a bit of a snob about food. My dd, however does get what I consider "junk" food every once in a while. Every weekday is not o.k w/ me though.
To answer some questions:
-I'm not actually a daycare, more like a nanny, the twins are my only charges besides my two kids.
-Originally, I offered to make lunches (because I thought this might happen), and told her, "maybe we can have a conversation about what they eat and you can help me stock up every once in a while".
-When she gave it to me, she said "feel free to share with your dd", and I'm not really keen on the idea of making separate lunches for everyone, especially when I have to feed myself and the baby (soon enough!) too. Plus, my dd will want to try what they have.
-Yes, they are living on a budget (which is why I'm giving them such a deal on care). He works at Macy's, she is a part time special ed teacher.
-The twins so far have devoured the annies rabbit crackers, fresh fruit, veggie sticks, peanut butter on whole grain bread, and fresh lentil soup I have offered them.
-Here's what I have decided to do: -mostly just feed them my own stuff, with a few of their things thrown in perhaps. When the mom asks how my stock of food is, tell her "you know, the dry stuff is really easy for me to stock up on, since I shop at Costco, but what would be really helpful is if you could show up with some fresh fruit or chopped veggies (I would offer to chop as well) every once in a while. " What do you think?

thanks again for responses and please don't flame, I'm not looking down my nose at her, I just don't want junk food to prevail in my house.
post #33 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
Really? Your kids sit around and watch other children eat crackers/cookies/chips/etc from trash cans? That's so sad I hope you would step in at that point and teach your children some compassion about how not everyone can afford food, etc. Maybe get them helping out in a food bank or homeless shelter or something.

I'm pretty sure you are sarcastic, but in case not...of course I meant trash food (chips, goldfish, etc) and not eating from trash cans.
post #34 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
No child deserves to go hungry, for any reason.
I don't think ANY child will go hungry with food around. One-two times, maybe, but definitely not every day. Eventually they WILL eat when hungry and it would be SO good for them to change such unhealthy eating habits.
post #35 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
I don't think ANY child will go hungry with food around. One-two times, maybe, but definitely not every day. Eventually they WILL eat when hungry and it would be SO good for them to change such unhealthy eating habits.
To say that no child will go hungry with food around is a gross misunderstanding. Why not wander over to the special needs forum where we have MANY children who will choose to starve themselves instead of eat what is around. If my child were in your care- yes, I have no doubt he would go hungry every single day. Getting him to even do a "snake test" on a new food is an excruciating process that can take months. Telling him to sit down and eat what you give him.... not going to happen. Not feeding him food that he'll actually eat for an entire day, day after day... IMO should be considered child neglect or abuse.

It must be nice to live in a bubble like that when the reality is that not every child is like yours. Despite my attempts to feed my child "healthy foods", he still has a handful of "trash" foods that he likes. And, you know what, it's what keeps him alive and somewhat growing.
post #36 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
I don't think ANY child will go hungry with food around. One-two times, maybe, but definitely not every day. Eventually they WILL eat when hungry and it would be SO good for them to change such unhealthy eating habits.
All this really tells me is that you have never experienced a genuinely picky eater.
post #37 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
I'm pretty sure you are sarcastic, but in case not...of course I meant trash food (chips, goldfish, etc) and not eating from trash cans.
Yes, I'm being sarcastic. But the point is still there. Goldfish and chips are not trash. They are foods. Whether you feed them to your children or not are up to you. But they are still food. Trash is what you find in a dumpster or trash can. There is a difference.
post #38 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by StephandOwen View Post
To say that no child will go hungry with food around is a gross misunderstanding. Why not wander over to the special needs forum where we have MANY children who will choose to starve themselves instead of eat what is around. If my child were in your care- yes, I have no doubt he would go hungry every single day. Getting him to even do a "snake test" on a new food is an excruciating process that can take months. Telling him to sit down and eat what you give him.... not going to happen. Not feeding him food that he'll actually eat for an entire day, day after day... IMO should be considered child neglect or abuse.

It must be nice to live in a bubble like that when the reality is that not every child is like yours. Despite my attempts to feed my child "healthy foods", he still has a handful of "trash" foods that he likes. And, you know what, it's what keeps him alive and somewhat growing.


Heck I have 2 food adverse kids who don't even like the same foods for the most part.
post #39 of 101
As a teacher myself, unless you have outlined what you mean by healthy food or have policy in place, you would be hard pressed to put a change in at this point. Honestly, this is your issue not the parents. As a daycare provider, I had kids come in eating sweet/sugary cereals. Once in my class, i would ask them to put them in their mailbox because we had a policy that said, "no outside food." We also had a healthy diet policy that stated no candy bars, chips or soda was to brought in for summer camp.

If you get reimbursed for CACFP then you know their idea of "healthy" isn't always healthy. So, I think this is a matter of letting it go for now and for next semester, but something in writing about your healthy food policy.
post #40 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by HisBeautifulWife View Post

Any why is your kid eating their food anyway?
Most kids want the food others are eating, try and stop them

I think the best thing to do will be to make some kind of food policy.
Preschool DS is attending now has "no sugar" policy, which all parents respect.
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