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daycare kids showing up w/ processed food. wwyd? - Page 5

post #81 of 101
I think that there is some guilt in the air and this is what blew this simple question/vent out of proportion. We all do the best we can and that it all there is to it. I personally do not think there was anything offensive in the original post. OP, I'm very happy you are helping those girls to get more balanced diet. You are a godsend for them! Imagine the poor things instead ending up somewhere where they were actually FED all the gold fish and other packaged food provided by their parents....
post #82 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
I think that there is some guilt in the air and this is what blew this simple question/vent out of proportion. We all do the best we can and that it all there is to it. I personally do not think there was anything offensive in the original post. OP, I'm very happy you are helping those girls to get more balanced diet. You are a godsend for them! Imagine the poor things instead ending up somewhere where they were actually FED all the gold fish and other packaged food provided by their parents....

I don't think it's guilt so much as offense taken from posts like yours. You have absolutely no idea what these children eat away from the op's house.
post #83 of 101
Thread Starter 
to the mom's credit, the girls did show up one day with home made sushi (made w/ spam, but still!), and I saw their brother eating an apple so I know they don't eat all junk. Goldfish crackers I would have understood more, it was mostly the shrimp flavored ramen, sugar free pudding cups and sugar free weird jello cup things that threw me off. Oh, and the hfcs cookies.....
post #84 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alyantavid View Post
I don't think it's guilt so much as offense taken from posts like yours. You have absolutely no idea what these children eat away from the op's house.
No I don't know and I am not jumping to conclusions. But I did say that many preschools/daycares in our area DO have no junk food policies. My kids go to two different schools and both send parents papers AND emails (in the beggining of the school year) about school rules and both had "no junk food, please" (in this exact words) written in RED capital letters. I talked to few neighbors whose kids go to other privet schools and they had the same experience. It never even occur to anyone I know to take it the wrong way. Really. "no junk food at school/daycare" that it just ALL there is to this statement, without any conclusions about their diet the rest of the day.
post #85 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enudely View Post
to the mom's credit, the girls did show up one day with home made sushi (made w/ spam, but still!), and I saw their brother eating an apple so I know they don't eat all junk. Goldfish crackers I would have understood more, it was mostly the shrimp flavored ramen, sugar free pudding cups and sugar free weird jello cup things that threw me off. Oh, and the hfcs cookies.....
you know, some people dont realize how bad artificial sweetners are.
you always hear about how "you shouldnt give kids too much sugar, etc. etc."
so maybe she thought sugar-free WAS being healthy.
post #86 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amandamanda View Post
you know, some people dont realize how bad artificial sweetners are.
artificial sweetners are worse than sugar...MUCH worse.

Sugar free can also mean sweatened with stuff like xylitol or stelvia (or even honey) though.
post #87 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
No I don't know and I am not jumping to conclusions. But I did say that many preschools/daycares in our area DO have no junk food policies. My kids go to two different schools and both send parents papers AND emails (in the beggining of the school year) about school rules and both had "no junk food, please" (in this exact words) written in RED capital letters. I talked to few neighbors whose kids go to other privet schools and they had the same experience. It never even occur to anyone I know to take it the wrong way. Really. "no junk food at school/daycare" that it just ALL there is to this statement, without any conclusions about their diet the rest of the day.
The thing that gets tricky about this is that people have very different opinions on what is considered junk vs. healthy.

When ds went to Waldorf - it was pretty simple - we all agreed there that healthy was fruits, veggies, whole grain breads, minimal sugar, etc.

But now in mainstream school? Woah. Some people honestly think that some of the yuckiest stuff is "healthy" - like those jello cups with fruit in them, fruit roll ups, etc. The teacher keeps sending home notes to please only bring HEALTHY snacks to school - but I really wonder how you enforce it, kwim? I'm sure there are parents out there that think the HFCS with red dye yogurt is a healthy option.

And regarding the "guilt" thing - I'm one poster who took offense to some posts here. No guilt at all - my son eats a diet that I consider to be very healthy. I'm not sure what guilt really has to do with it at all - it had much more to do with the ignorance of people stating that kids WILL eat if hungry enough - and several of us pointed out that is not always true. That's all.
post #88 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistymama View Post
The thing that gets tricky about this is that people have very different opinions on what is considered junk vs. healthy.

When ds went to Waldorf - it was pretty simple - we all agreed there that healthy was fruits, veggies, whole grain breads, minimal sugar, etc.

But now in mainstream school? Woah. Some people honestly think that some of the yuckiest stuff is "healthy" - like those jello cups with fruit in them, fruit roll ups, etc. The teacher keeps sending home notes to please only bring HEALTHY snacks to school - but I really wonder how you enforce it, kwim? I'm sure there are parents out there that think the HFCS with red dye yogurt is a healthy option.

Good point. Perhaps I'm just kind of in a Boulder area "crunchy bubble", but it's different in other areas. Here usually even if a family eats unhealthy at least they are aware of the fact (not that it makes a difference, but still)
post #89 of 101
First off, spam and sushi should never be in the same sentence... : I have to give them credit though...that sounds awfully creative. LOL!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
I think that there is some guilt in the air and this is what blew this simple question/vent out of proportion. We all do the best we can and that it all there is to it. I personally do not think there was anything offensive in the original post. OP, I'm very happy you are helping those girls to get more balanced diet. You are a godsend for them! Imagine the poor things instead ending up somewhere where they were actually FED all the gold fish and other packaged food provided by their parents....

Uh, yeah, not quite sure it's guilt when your last sentence calls kids who eat goldfished and packaged food "poor kids". Yeah, "poor fed loved children whose parents might be busy and grab something a little convenient". Poor deprived souls.

Honestly, that reeks of judgement. I don't like goldfish crackers, but they are better than potato chips and candy and are lightyears better than the parents who can't even afford those for their kids so the kids go hungry. And not every packaged food is evil...

I suspect that the "poor things" would have grown up perfectly healthy and fine even if they ate some goldfish crackers with their lunch. Heck, we eat almost all organic, and we eat df/ef/gf/hfcf-f/tf-f and my in our family, I have a bone marrow condition, my son has autism and FTT issues, middle daughter is on the spectrum as well, and we have more confirmed food allergies than one would like to keep track of. Oh yeah, and 2 of them were breastfed too (OMG, the horror...you mean multiple severe food allergies, FTT, and autism can happen even when kids are fed the healthiest food known to man instead of the alternative?) Yet there are "poor neglected unloved little kids" who eat goldfish crackers and turn out appropriately sized athletes with no chronic health issues at all. How about not adding "poor things" in front of kids who likely are very much loved and cared for?

But hey, it's all about the guilt, eh? It can't possibly be because statements like that are judgemental and offensive right?

And I don't even feed my kids those. But I've seen children who have REALLY been neglected. I've seen kids who REALLY are "poor things". Starving, malnourished, unhealthy children who have nothing to eat. Who are neglected, starving, and nutrient deprived. I hardly think these daycare kids fit that criteria. Heck, I even know kids who, instead of being given goldfish crackers, they are given soda and candy.
post #90 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllyRae View Post
First off, spam and sushi should never be in the same sentence... : I have to give them credit though...that sounds awfully creative. LOL!

Uh, yeah, not quite sure it's guilt when your last sentence calls kids who eat goldfished and packaged food "poor kids". Yeah, "poor fed loved children whose parents might be busy and grab something a little convenient". Poor deprived souls.

Honestly, that reeks of judgement. I don't like goldfish crackers, but they are better than potato chips and candy and are lightyears better than the parents who can't even afford those for their kids so the kids go hungry. And not every packaged food is evil...

I suspect that the "poor things" would have grown up perfectly healthy and fine even if they ate some goldfish crackers with their lunch. Heck, we eat almost all organic, and we eat df/ef/gf/hfcf-f/tf-f and my in our family, I have a bone marrow condition, my son has autism and FTT issues, middle daughter is on the spectrum as well, and we have more confirmed food allergies than one would like to keep track of. Oh yeah, and 2 of them were breastfed too (OMG, the horror...you mean multiple severe food allergies, FTT, and autism can happen even when kids are fed the healthiest food known to man instead of the alternative?) Yet there are "poor neglected unloved little kids" who eat goldfish crackers and turn out appropriately sized athletes with no chronic health issues at all. How about not adding "poor things" in front of kids who likely are very much loved and cared for?

But hey, it's all about the guilt, eh? It can't possibly be because statements like that are judgemental and offensive right?

And I don't even feed my kids those. But I've seen children who have REALLY been neglected. I've seen kids who REALLY are "poor things". Starving, malnourished, unhealthy children who have nothing to eat. Who are neglected, starving, and nutrient deprived. I hardly think these daycare kids fit that criteria. Heck, I even know kids who, instead of being given goldfish crackers, they are given soda and candy.
There is so much anger in your post.

I'm so sorry your family has to deal with so many health conditions . Life is so unfair sometimes. You are doing everything you can to help your kids to reach 100% of their own health potential and that is what matters.
post #91 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
I think that there is some guilt in the air and this is what blew this simple question/vent out of proportion. We all do the best we can and that it all there is to it. I personally do not think there was anything offensive in the original post. OP, I'm very happy you are helping those girls to get more balanced diet. You are a godsend for them! Imagine the poor things instead ending up somewhere where they were actually FED all the gold fish and other packaged food provided by their parents....
Why would a parent have any reason to feel guilty for making sure that their child was eating enough food to sustain him, even if that diet was less than crunchy? Would it be better to serve that child an ideal diet and slowly watch them starve to death?

As for your last statement, I'm not sure how to respond ecept to say that I find it offensive to insinuate that all children who are fed goldfish crackers by their parents are better off in a more natural home.
post #92 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
Why would a parent have any reason to feel guilty for making sure that their child was eating enough food to sustain him, even if that diet was less than crunchy?
I am not sure why, but I guess the reason would be similar to one that makes parents become very defensive when one, for example, posts about harm of circumcision or questions vaccines on a mainstream forum. I posted few times in a very polite manner and yet was immediately called all bad words that possibly exist. I guess, deep in their heart they know that it is just not the child's best interest.
post #93 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllyRae View Post
First off, spam and sushi should never be in the same sentence... : I have to give them credit though...that sounds awfully creative. LOL!




Uh, yeah, not quite sure it's guilt when your last sentence calls kids who eat goldfished and packaged food "poor kids". Yeah, "poor fed loved children whose parents might be busy and grab something a little convenient". Poor deprived souls.

Honestly, that reeks of judgement. I don't like goldfish crackers, but they are better than potato chips and candy and are lightyears better than the parents who can't even afford those for their kids so the kids go hungry. And not every packaged food is evil...

I suspect that the "poor things" would have grown up perfectly healthy and fine even if they ate some goldfish crackers with their lunch. Heck, we eat almost all organic, and we eat df/ef/gf/hfcf-f/tf-f and my in our family, I have a bone marrow condition, my son has autism and FTT issues, middle daughter is on the spectrum as well, and we have more confirmed food allergies than one would like to keep track of. Oh yeah, and 2 of them were breastfed too (OMG, the horror...you mean multiple severe food allergies, FTT, and autism can happen even when kids are fed the healthiest food known to man instead of the alternative?) Yet there are "poor neglected unloved little kids" who eat goldfish crackers and turn out appropriately sized athletes with no chronic health issues at all. How about not adding "poor things" in front of kids who likely are very much loved and cared for?

But hey, it's all about the guilt, eh? It can't possibly be because statements like that are judgemental and offensive right?

And I don't even feed my kids those. But I've seen children who have REALLY been neglected. I've seen kids who REALLY are "poor things". Starving, malnourished, unhealthy children who have nothing to eat. Who are neglected, starving, and nutrient deprived. I hardly think these daycare kids fit that criteria. Heck, I even know kids who, instead of being given goldfish crackers, they are given soda and candy.

I tried posting basically the same thing and couldn't get it out without sounding awful, so thank you for that post.

For our family, we eat really well. We also have food allergies, have kids in daycare/school, have parents who work or go to school full time. So yeah, sometimes my kids eat packaged stuff. Because their parents are exhausted. And trust me, we've been judged because of that. It just sucks to do the absolute best you can, then feed your kid something some one else labels "trash" and be judged that harshly over it.
post #94 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
I am not sure why, but I guess the reason would be similar to one that makes parents become very defensive when one, for example, posts about harm of circumcision or questions vaccines on a mainstream forum. I posted few times in a very polite manner and yet was immediately called all bad words that possibly exist. I guess, deep in their heart they know that it is just not the child's best interest.
You may have worded your posts politely but the meaning behind your words was clear to many here. Just because a person is defensive does NOT mean that they believe their actions are wrong. Chances are it is more a case of feeling attacked by someone who has most obviously never been in their difficult position and has no clue what their life is like. Are you honestly saying that even though the moms who have posted here about how their children will simply not eat anything placed in front of them that deep down inside they know that they are not acting in the best interest of their child?

My personal opinion is that I have NO RIGHT to judge another person unless I have experienced his/her situation firsthand.
post #95 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by TCMoulton View Post
Are you honestly saying that even though the moms who have posted here about how their children will simply not eat anything placed in front of them that deep down inside they know that they are not acting in the best interest of their child?
No, I am not talking about special needs kids by any means. My dh's cousin's son has autism and I personally witnessed how he refused to eat a pancake because it was not all the same color. Or he would only eat a specific kind of pasta with no salt, no butter and goldfish. So, no I am not talking about kids like that.

As far as kids without special needs, I believe that it is possible to slowly change/improve their eating habits, it just requires a lot of work.

While I do feel bad for kids who I see day after day eating tons of crackers, cookies, chips, chocolate bar, I don't really judge. My problem with them is different: other kids whose mamas take the extra mile to cook them fresh nutritious meals would whine and bag for those (mostly because of a pretty packaging) instead of eating their regular meal (that they normally eat and like). This is just really not fair for those moms. I know that some of them are SAHMs, but others are working (I'm one of them) and are just as exausted and yet they still do take that extra mile.
post #96 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
There is so much anger in your post.

I'm so sorry your family has to deal with so many health conditions . Life is so unfair sometimes. You are doing everything you can to help your kids to reach 100% of their own health potential and that is what matters.
It's not anger. It's confusion at how someone can honestly look at a child who is otherwise loved and cared for and think "poor kid" because they eat goldfish crackers or something that came in a box and not get that people might be offended at how judgemental that sounds. Just as much as it would be if someone saw a kid who had never had an ice cream cone and thought "poor deprived child". It's confusion over why something like a baked cracker can cause people to cast such judgement onto another person, making statements that imply that the kid is neglected or less loved than someone who gets fresh made tahini for lunch. The "poor kids" just seemed so out of line... And like I said, this is from someone who doesn't even feed their kids that...
post #97 of 101
And just something else to think about...I spend *hours* in the kitchen every evening making homemade breads, muffins, granola, etc. plus I cook all of our meals from scratch out of necessity--too many food allergies for many processed foods, plus it's expensive enough just cooking what we can eat without adding in premade stuff. And because I spend the day playing with them and running errands and such, most of the baking takes place into the late hours of the night. Once a week, Brandon's school has pizza day and because of his allergies, I make his pizza by hand and send with him (whole grain, homemade sauce, vegan cheese, and nitrate free pepperoni...with the dough cooked into whatever shape/creature/thing he requests). But, he also will go to school with graham crackers (organic ones...but you can't tell that since I don't send the box in) or rice cakes or the like. So just because they come in with a premade food doesn't mean they aren't getting tons of homemade stuff. And it certainly doesn't mean the parent isn't going the extra mile--I spend probably between 3-6 hours in the kitchen a day...sometimes until 1-3 AM. But sometimes you have to draw the line and say "hey, I need to spend time with my kids and I need to take care of myself too, so a cracker isn't going to kill them."
post #98 of 101
all i can say is WOW to the bulk of this thread... sad!

OP your ideas sound great! i am so sorry your thread has turned into a flame fest, not at you but in gen... so sad. i hope your new plan works out. it sounds great to me!
post #99 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enudely View Post
I'm not going to talk with the mom until she asks "How is your stock of lunch food?", and I'm then going to tell her "I'm good with dry stuff, I shop at Costco, what I could really use help with is some fresh stuff. Do you think you could provide some fruit or a bag of organic carrots?"

Maybe you could tell the mom you enjoy cooking and preparing home made meals and it would be most helpful if she could provide ________. She is probably trying to be helpful by providing convience foods and she will probably appreciate you efforts.
post #100 of 101
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yulia_R View Post
Good point. Perhaps I'm just kind of in a Boulder area "crunchy bubble", but it's different in other areas. Here usually even if a family eats unhealthy at least they are aware of the fact (not that it makes a difference, but still)
Oh yeah, area most certainly matters. I grew up in California, very aware of what was in food, what it meant to eat healthy and had lots of healthy options around me. Then I moved to the deep south! Oh my! There is certainly a growing population here that is interested in healthy eating, and we've even got a Whole Foods. But there are lots and lots of people here who are just clueless about what is really GOOD for you - and I think we are also one of the fattest states in the nation.
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