Anyone else have a 4 year old obsessed with all things evil?

[swiesz]

my son who turned 4 in april is facinated with all things evil or bad. Often when asked what he wants to be when he grows up will say a villian. he is often dressed in all black and likes to associate with any bad guy. last week he was obsessed with graveyards and we have a friend that has a small one in their yard and he wants a real one in our yard too, so he was saying he wants to kill his daddy so he could bury him in the backyard and have a real graveyard in our yard as well. If he finds out anything that is bad he wants to associate with it. He is very imaginative and always has been. He also has a lot of interest in bugs and frogs and lizards and is always very gentile with these things which i am trying to encourage this area more than the other. he is my middle boy with a brother 2 years older and into sports since he was very young. his younger brother is 3 years younger and only 16 months so into any and everything. I am not really worried I know he is very imaginative which his older brother is not, just looking for any one else that might have a similar child.

[lynsage]

He probably just likes the thrill of how people react when he says "bad" things...my daughter is a little drama queen who loves Halloween, Nightmare Before Christmas, Batman, witches, "dark pixies" which are basically little Goth-looking fairies, loves to look at older kids in "goth" clothes, etc...she's going to be 5 soon.

I just try to remind her that "scary" things are not really bad, they're just things people like to make up stories about for fun, death is part of life, goth clothes are just an artistic fashion statement and we don't make a big deal. Other people do sometimes but I try to laugh it off and just let her have her little phase.

[nextcommercial]

It's really very common. My best friend growing up loved the villians. I loved the good ones. We painted her room black in 1979, then a few days later, I came over and she had used sliver and black to make a huge Darth Vader mural on her wall. "Freak! What about Luke Skywalker???" She always called me a "flower". I hated every part of The Wizard of Oz. She loved the wicked witch AND the Flying monkeys.

My neices are the same way. One of them had a Horror movie theme wedding, and the other (they are twins) had a Halloween theme wedding. You couldn't even COME to the wedding without an evil costume. LOL. Even the great grandparents.

It's just who we are. I can't deal with evil dark characters, while others love them and find it fascinating.

Embrace it, enjoy it, he's fine, and you will probably be pretty impressed with his creativity.

[mojumi]

Sounds like your middle child is staking out his territory and finding ways to be his own person, very different from his brothers. =) A lot of what you're mentioning doesn't sound 'evil' just maybe 'spooky' to some people (like a graveyard) or 'gross' to some people (bugs). I don't imagine a 4yo in any kind of normal circumstance has any real sense of evil or wanting to be evil. Sounds like he has a sort of hobby -- maybe he'd like to study ancient tombstones or make his own as a project. (Good time of year for it!)

Killing dad to bury him in the yard is something I would want to talk about with my kids, though, because it is not a game, even a pretend game, that would fall in my comfort zone.

Remembering "this too shall pass" and not making a big deal out it sounds like good advice ...

[Evergreen]

My dd wasn't quite like that but she was obsessed with skeletons at that age. I got out my old anatomy and physiology text from college and made it a learning experience. Imagine the doctor's surprise when she correctly identified the phalanges, tibia, scapula, clavicle, etc. on the skeleton in the exam room! SOmetimes you just have to take what they're into and roll with it.

[Thalia the Muse]

My daughter went through a period around that age when she was fascinated by death and dead bodies. There was nothing evil about it, she was just trying to wrap her head around the concept of death, but she asked if we could go to a cemetery and see a dead body. She would have FLIPPED if she could have a graveyard in the backyard! And she loved Corpse Bride and Nightmare Before Christmas and the Big Bad Wolf from Little Red Riding Hood.

She grew out of it, and now at eight she's much more fearful (which is kind of a drag for me, because I love spooky stuff and I can't show her any Vincent Price movies).

Fictional villains are powerful and scary and exciting, and identifying with them is a way to feel safe and strong and in control. No one will mess with you if you are a big, bad villain, and villains aren't scared!

[Jenelle]

I can relate, somewhat.

My middle boy, also, tends to associate with the "bad" guys. In movies, books, etc. his favorite characters are the bullies, the villains. He thinks they are "cool". Honestly, it worries me, but I don't think it seems to be anything I can change. It is just who he IS.

He is four also. Will be five in December.

Now, the part about killing Dad and wanting to bury him in the backyard, I can't relate to. Not really any obsession with death or graveyards here.

But I just had to post, because I also have three boys, and it is my middle, about the same age as yours. Interesting!

[newbymom05]

My 4 y/o is the same way, has been since about 3!

[enigo]

OMG! I thought it was just me!
My son is 3 and is the same way. He said said a few things that would send chills up the spine of a lesser mom He isn't violent at all.
He does not watch TV very often and anything he has seen has certainly not been anything scary or weird. He also is now waaay into vampires. He saw an episode of the Pink Panther with a vampire. Now he wants to be a vampire for Halloween and "bite the candy wiff his cool vampire teef".

He has an incredible imagination that makes your jaw drop, and I love it!

I think it may have started when my husband let him watch as he buried a possum that the dog had killed. This happens quite often and you would think he was going out for ice cream rather than helping dad bury dead animals in the yard.

[MusicianDad]

People in general tend to be facinated with all things bad (there's a reason the main villian is often one of the more popular characters in a move/tv show/video game/book). It's because we all do have that dark side, but most of us stay away from it for the most part and the idea of someone operating from that side of their mind by default is something that peaks ones interest.

Now really, how many of us have really never had thoughts of being "bad"? Even just a little bit...

[meemee]

the author leminney snicket (forget his real name - adam...) was like your son. the reason why he write the series because there was such a lack of in his youth.

one of my nephews is like him.

my friend's dd is like him. at 4 she watched coraline and loved it.

its their thing. thank goodness someone decides to be different.

[Jenelle]

Oh man... We watched Coraline and we all just thought it was WEIRD.

[catballou24]

my youngest dd will be 4 at the end of the month and has always loved the "darker" things in life.. my nephew is the same age and same way. my sis and i decided our kids will be the "goths" when they get older... i think it's pretty normal at this age to be facinated by these things...

[mamalisa]

Last night my dd was telling me a story of how one of her baby dolls came to live with us. See, her dad forgot to look both ways before crossing the street so he died and there was lots of blood everywhere. Um, ok, nice story sweetie!

She LOVES the Corpse Bride. Ds showed her a video about vampires and now she wants to be a vampire princess for Halloween. She tried to show my 2 year old nephew the vampire video over the weekend and we were all like "NOOOO!!!" She's a dark little thing, which both freaks me out and cracks me up at the same time.