six year olds and football, gender roles, and more!

[Evergreen]

My six year old daughter wanted to play football. I signed her up. Now the other girls teased her because football is for boys so she no longer wants to play. She went to one practice. She was the only girl on her team, I am not sure if there were other girls in the league but I don't think so. The boys were pretty nice, a few told her girls can't play football but for the most part it is her school friends giving her a hard time about this.

We discussed sex stereotyping and she understands that girls can do whatever boys do and vice versa but is still saying that she doesn't feel like playing. She does not seem upset about not playing, she isn't upset about the other girls being mean either. She is really nonchalant about the whole thing and I keep asking if she wants to think it over until her next practice on Saturday. She says no, she just doesn't feel like playing a sport.

I am inclined to let her quit. It was only $35.00 and I might be able to get some of it back. She was not only the only girl but the smallest child in general at 41 lbs. They don't tackle in 5-6 year old league but if she'd stuck with it they do in 7-10. So, now I don't have to worry about injuries. She didn't like soccer. She only likes gymnastics and tennis, but not doubles. I don't think she is a team sport kind of kid. So, I have no problems with her quitting football unless the real underlying reason is she has been convinced it is because she is a girl that she can't play.

Anyone have any advice or thoughts?

[Girlprof]

Tough one. I don't think I would force my child to play when she didn't want to - I'm not sure I even could. But I think what I would do is find a movie or a book about a girl playing football. I'm sure these exist. Depending on the child, I would either leave it lying around or read it/show it to them. Just to counteract the other message. But then, would that be pressuring her? Good luck!

[SimonMom]

This is what I would do if it were my dc. I would not let them quit after one practice just because of what some other kids said. I wouldn't make her play the whole season if she truly didn't like it. I would encourage my dc to go to several more practices before she makes a decision. If the only reason she's quitting is because of what some other girls said, I bet she'll change her mind if she has fun at the practices.

[ollyoxenfree]

Do you know any girls or women who play football? Has she met them and watched them play? Role models are really important. We can spout on endlessly about gender equality, but unless we act on it, it's all just empty words. Signing her up for football is a great step, but its more likely to succeed if she has a role model or 2.

Have you talk to her coach about it? Does he (I'm assuming it's a he) treat her like he treats all the boys on the team?

DD played baseball one year on a co-ed team and the girls were definitely second class citizens. She didn't play again. Yet she played hockey for years on a "co-ed" team - actually she was often the only girl on her team, but there were other girls in the league. The coaches were fantastic and made sure that she had a good experience.

Good luck.

[Evergreen]

Thanks. The thing is I can not figure out if that is why she is quitting. I don't want her to miss out on something she really wants to do because of this but I don't want to force her to do something she doesn't want to do. I was hoping a few more girls would have signed up, she hates being the "only" anything. She also gets frustrated. She has trouble throwing a spiral. I think she is worried about the boys making fun of her for not being perfect. She is like this with almost everything.

I totally love the book idea, though. Even if she doesn't play she can still understand that being a girl does not automatically prevent one from playing football.

[nextcommercial]

I'd let her quit. My daughter wanted to try Soccer, and she didn't like that.

My daughter just isn't a team sports kinda kid. She loved dance though, which surprised me. Dance, is still a team sport, as in if you don't work hard, your whole class looks bad, but it was still kind of individual too.

I think it's fine to try all the sports, and find the one you like.

[Evergreen]

Originally Posted by nextcommercial

I'd let her quit. My daughter wanted to try Soccer, and she didn't like that.

My daughter just isn't a team sports kinda kid. She loved dance though, which surprised me. Dance, is still a team sport, as in if you don't work hard, your whole class looks bad, but it was still kind of individual too.

I think it's fine to try all the sports, and find the one you like.

Sounds actually a lot like Dylan. She wandered off the field after butterflies in almost every soccer game she played. She only likes singles tennis. Not really a team player. I did tell her she could pick one sport/activity this fall and do it because I don't have the time to shuttle her around everyday. She chose football over gymnastics which she has done and loved since she was a toddler. Of course, gymnastics is now full. Now I guess she'll have to wait until her birthday (January) when she gets her horseback riding lessons.

[lonegirl]

Originally Posted by Girlprof

Tough one. I don't think I would force my child to play when she didn't want to - I'm not sure I even could. But I think what I would do is find a movie or a book about a girl playing football. I'm sure these exist. Depending on the child, I would either leave it lying around or read it/show it to them. Just to counteract the other message. But then, would that be pressuring her? Good luck!

Quarterback Princess
I loved it as a kid....it is an oldie from the 80s

[SimonMom]

Little Giants is a movie about a lone girl playing football.

[Evergreen]

Thank you soooo much!!!!