Has anyone else not told SO/DH yet?

[Kontessa]

I want to wait and be sure baby sticks. Not to mention I kind of feel like the less people I actually know, that know, the less stress there is. Reducing stress has been a huge priority for me as of late.

But last night I was so sick and nothing was staying down. He noticed. I was sure to leave a digital pregnancy test I took too early in the bathroom showing not pregnant and hide the 8 other line tests showing BFP. LOL And thankfully he was not home this morning as nothing stayed down so far either... so I am going to have to tell him in the next few days I am thinking.

Is there anyone else here who has not told SO/DH yet?

[Jelinifer]

Before I got my BFP I had planned on waiting to tell him... but when the time came I was in such shock that I dragged him out of bed to squint at the lines on the test with me!

I am very very worried about if this bean doesn't stick though... DH is a very sensitive and emotional guy and I know it would be so amazingly hard on him after all we've been through to get here now.

[Tenk]

I guess I just couldn't imagine NOT telling him, he's such an amazing person that I couldn't keep something so wonderful to myself. I NEED to share things like this with him kwim? I also would need his support if anything were to go wrong, and I feel like that's important in our relationship.

I'm sorry that you are having to go thru the ups and downs of waiting to tell DH mama!!

[MommaCrystal]

Hah! Just like my other two pregnancies, DH told ME! I didn't think so, he did. He was right, as usual!

I couldn't imagine not telling him either. If WE suffered a loss WE would have to work through it together. I couldn't do it without him.

[May-Baby]

I was thinking of not telling my SO before I tested and I ended up not telling RIGHT away. I tested on an internet cheapie, then ran to the pharmacy to grab a clear blue test just to make sure. While I was at the mall I also picked up a book he really wanted and some soothers. I got home, tested with the clear blue (which of course was (+)) and then packed his book and the soothers in a little bag. I was way tooooooo excited not to tell him. He opened the bag and took out the book but didn't notice the soothers. I had to tell him to look in the bag again. The look on his face was priceless (excitement, then disbelief.. and then the fear set in LOL). It was kind of surreal for both of us and I am glad that I shared our first BFP with him! Thankfully the fear has more or less abated and now he's sooo excited!

[Tizzy]

DH knows but I almost didn't tell him! I put a "big brother" shirt on DS2 and hoped he would notice. He did, but he just assumed that because I didn't say anything right away and wasn't bouncing around the house like an idiot, that I just ran out of other shirts for him to wear lol!

So later that day we were laying in bed talking about stuff, he was expressing how he feels that we're stretched in so many different directions, how he's feeling pretty stressed (I just went back to work this week too) and such. So then I was thinking it wasn't the best time to tell him!
Then out of the blue he says "Do you still want three?" I asked him why...? he said he just wanted to know and repeated the question. By then I was thinking WHOA! Not a good time to mention it!!!!
But he expressed that with DS1 being pretty difficult and defiant lately, he was feeling a little unsure about wanting more *right now*. So I told him "It's a little late!".
And then he was so excited! I think the most excited he's been yet!

I'm trying to meet him in the middle. He's so non-expressive when it comes to excitement and I'm so excitable. So I'm trying to tone my reaction down and turn his up lol!
Regardless, I can't imagine NOT telling him right away. It's OUR baby and if something happens, it's OUR loss.

[AliciaP8]

I never considered not telling. We were both totally involved and waiting for the news and we're not really any good at keeping secrets from each other. The day we tested, I peed and watched the clock and whent he time was up he peeked and let me know there were two lines.

[organicpapayamama]

well i have a bit of a unique situation. Im a single mama by choice this time around and I used a known sperm donor. the plan was that he would "donate" until it resulted in a viable pregnancy and then after that the door was closed. he didnt want to know anything else or be involved which is fine by me. But its a little sad that I have no one to share the joy with and because of my circumstances I feel that my family is not genuinely happy. No one has said congratulations yet... only "oh your pregnant." I know its not the norm but I hope they will grow to accept it, realize that it was the right choice for me and just be happy along with me. I know they will really fall in love when they see that little face but I hope until then I start getting some good vibes from people.

[pianojazzgirl]

Well, I waiting one whole day before telling dh because I tested the day before his b-day, got a BFP and wanted to wrap up the HPT as one of his gifts. It was hard to wait even that long!

[Kontessa]

I got to waiting 3 days! I finally told him. Well more so the Big Sister dress I embroidered and had our youngest in did. It was so cute! LOL

I am not one for secrets but I have learned that there is a time for things and sometimes it is not right away. It is said that 50% of babies do not make it past the date of expected period. I found out on day 10.... From experience I know I can deal with loss on my own, hard, but I can. Guess it is the military wife in me. DH has so much going on right now with work I can not even explain even if I was allowed to know half of it and he needs no more on him. Sometimes not sharing is a gift. Thats my opinion anyway. He has army friends to share PTSD war stories with, and I have my circles to share my mama issues with.

Alas, thank goodness we are all different or the world would be a fairly boring word of gray.

[Kontessa]

Originally Posted by organicpapayamama

well i have a bit of a unique situation. Im a single mama by choice this time around and I used a known sperm donor. the plan was that he would "donate" until it resulted in a viable pregnancy and then after that the door was closed. he didnt want to know anything else or be involved which is fine by me. But its a little sad that I have no one to share the joy with and because of my circumstances I feel that my family is not genuinely happy. No one has said congratulations yet... only "oh your pregnant." I know its not the norm but I hope they will grow to accept it, realize that it was the right choice for me and just be happy along with me. I know they will really fall in love when they see that little face but I hope until then I start getting some good vibes from people.

I am sorry you do not have anyone excited for you. We here can be though! :

One of my best friends is planning on being a single mother actually. She has been military of one kind or another for her adult life and is an officer. She intimidates more guys she says. She is 33 and done waiting for mister right so she is planning to have a baby with a guy friend of hers in the next year or so. She has some family not supportive but I know her and she can do this and still have her job and be a great mother.

Bet you can too!