How/When to tell your older kids?

[LilMama23]

When did/will you tell your older kids that you are expecting, and how? And how old are they?

[Ofwait]

We went ahead a told our older children today... I would have prefered to wait longer, but our oldest DD overheard enough that she knew. Anyway, our oldest is 8, then 6, 4, and 2..

[organicpapayamama]

well ds is only 17 months so there is not a whole lot he can understand now. lol but I do talk to him about the baby and keep pointing to my tummy and say baby and from time to time he will come by and pat my tummy 8)

[AliciaP8]

Our sn is just about to turn 12. He's been fully aware of the IVF and all that involved so we told him as soon as we had official news. He seems indifferent most of the time but I think he's being cautious. We've all been let down many times in the last 5 years. I think once we tell other family members and our friends he'll feel more like it's real.

[MommaCrystal]

I have one son who will be four in a couple of a months and another who will be two in a few weeks. We have yet to tell them. Well, really the older one. I'm not sure when we will.

First off, we aren't telling the world yet and I can't imagine asking him to keep a secret like that. He wouldn't know how poor guy. Secondly, we've mentioned a bunch of times over the last several months the idea of him being a big brother again. He doesn't like that idea. He has his one brother and he loves him and we don't need another! Ah well, we'll work it out eventually.

We were thinking of telling the family next month at DS2's birthday party. We'll see! I won't be able to hide it long, I show pretty quick. So I guess they'll have to learn about it by then!

[mamassong]

I have a 3.5 yo DD, who I told last weekend. I would have waited, but I was talking about it so much on the phone with my sister and my mom, and then at home with DH, I didn't want her to overhear and feel excluded.
It was so fun to tell her. Shes a real girly-girl, she said "Awwwwww, Hoowww cuuute", then to my belly she said, "I love you, I can't wait to see you, we'll take really good care of you"

She's taken it soo well, I've taken a nap every.single.day for the past couple weeks, and shes been so good about laying down so I can lay down, and not being too rough when she runs and jumps on me.

DH asked her, "would you like a baby brother or sister?" and she said "either would be fine" hahah

We were just all sitting on the front porch in the evening and we said "We have a surprise for you-we're going to have a new baby!" And she was sooo excited.

I plan on getting some books from the library that show all the different kinds of birth and the 'realities' of having a new baby, like the time spent with the baby, etc.

[pianojazzgirl]

I have 2 kids - ds is almost 2 and dd is almost 5. Ds I'm not really worried about telling any time soon since I know he won't have a clue what I'm talking about, lol. I'm still trying to figure out when to tell dd. I've had m/cs in the past and so I'm considering waiting till after the first tri to tell her, but I'm just not sure yet.

[SusanMy]

DS is four, and we'll tell him around the time we tell everyone else. As PP mentioned, at this age it's unreasonable for him to be expected to keep a secret. I've m/c'd before, so I don't want to get him (or anyone else) too excited, just in case. So we'll wait until 12 weeks, tell him first, and then tell family and friends. The challenge will be disguising my belly, which gets prominent pretty fast.

[klocke]

I have 3 "older" kids, ages 4, 2 1/2, and 16 months. I have already told all three of them, just because my DH and I have been talking about it and I don't see any reason to with hold the information. Honestly I'd tell the whole world already except Dh wants to wait until I start to show, only because his family is not gonna be happy.

[feminist~mama]

I'm officially in April's DDC, but end of the month, so I popped over here

Anyway, I have a 10 y-o dd. We told her right away, right after I told DP! She's super excited and very much wants to be there for the birth!