DD eats too long. How to get her to eat faster? - Page 2

[Nim]

My daughter would be at the table for hours for any meal if I let her.
For some reasons a million questions and thoughts come into her head as soon as she sits at the table. She talks so much it takes her forever to eat.
A new rule is "saving questions until after the meal" then she can ask away!
That solved it for us and she does very well now.
Also, I cut back on snacks-making them smaller- so that she's got more of an appitite for mealtimes.
Maybe try to have something fun to do after she's finished her meal- maybe let her pick the activity.

[mamazee]

Many young children naturally graze, and it's actually healthier for their bodies. I would let him eat as much as he wants when he wants and take away the expectation that he sit through a meal for any particular amount of time for a year or two. Just leave him there to eat and don't make it a problem. Get on with what you'd do if he weren't eating.

[calpurnia]

i didn't read all the responses, but maybe she's just a slow eater. my little brother is a SUPER slow eater - like, an hour to finish. we just carry on around him while he plods away. anyway, my mum says he was always a slow eater. just the way he is

[Holiztic]

I think the meal time thing is on the long side, but really shouldn't be rushed. Can you read? Study at the table next to her? I used to slide DS' high chair into the kitchen and do the dishes, clean out the fridge, whatever when he was in a similar phase. I made sure he had a good 30 minutes of us eating together, focused, etc. But after that I'd usually do something.

Let me tell you, we went to the beach w/ family this summer and 4 yo nephew was there. 2 yo DS and cousin sat at a kid's table together for meals and DS sat quietly eating all his food (conscientiously, even) for 30-45 minutes while nephew couldn't last 5 minutes (sitting still or eating). Everyone was amazed at my DS' ability to honor his food/eating. Its because we have never rushed him and never given in to "distraction" tactics of getting him to eat (TV, acting silly, dancing toys, etc).

The milk thing is a bit odd, I think. Is she in a high chair? We just put milk in a cup on the play table (coffee table in family room) and DS has a few sips, plays, has a few sips, plays. I assume by what you have said that your DD is in a high chair or booster and just drinking milk for 30-45 min?

How is her energy level when she is not eating? Is that her rest time? Does she nap? Is she really active otherwise? Or is she slow/low key all the time?

[1growingsprout]

Another thing that comes to mind is she actually eating or are you waiting for her to finish 'everything on her plate' if its the latter, its a problem if she is actively eating no biggie.

[Cujobunny]

My son is 4 now but has always been a slow eater. I let him eat at his own pace, with reminders if he gets up and starts running around (usually just asking if he's done). I don't sit at the table with him the whole time, if we are done eating, we get down and do what we need/want to do and he can stay at the table and eat. Our house is small so he can see me in the kitchen doing dishes, he can talk to me, he can see dh and dd in the living room playing (it's all one big room, the living/dining room). I don't make him eat everything, he eats as much or as little as he wants. He has no issue with sitting at the table by himself, in fact, I think the less distraction of other people sitting around him helps him, cuz he talks A LOT when we are there. I totally disagree with rushing their meal, my dh used to try to do that to ds, and my dh inhales his food and is overweight.

[Jessica1501]

Thanks all of you guys.
DD is 20 month. She hates milk, so milk time is long. I usually end up feeding her by spoon.
But she has chewed better since last few days, so basically she enjoys eating more and can finish meals by herself. This REALLY helps me. At least I can do something else why she is eating. No more rush is needed.

[Sailor]

Well, I'm from Europe. There, EVERYONE eats a meal in one hour to 1.5 hours. It's a meal, it should be enjoyed - slowly. Your toddler has the right idea. If someone set a timer for me while I was eating, I'd develop some serious food/eating issues.

[kittykat2481]

Originally Posted by Jessica1501

Thanks all of you guys.
DD is 20 month. She hates milk, so milk time is long. I usually end up feeding her by spoon.
But she has chewed better since last few days, so basically she enjoys eating more and can finish meals by herself. This REALLY helps me. At least I can do something else why she is eating. No more rush is needed.

Can you give her milk in a cup with her meal? Or even offer another drink if she doesn't like the milk. If she's getting a balanced diet, it's not so important that she drinks the milk. Spoon feeding her the milk sort of makes it a power struggle, which will only make it worse.

And does she have to finish a meal? If DS stops eating (to talk or play or whatever) for 5-10 minutes, I ask him if he's finished. If I didn't ask, he'd just go right on talking and playing, but when I ask, usually he's like "Oh yeah, I guess I am" and he will sign and say "finished". If he's not finished, he'll shake his head no and get back to eating. If he keeps playing around, I tell him that we're finished eating now and we're going to go do x, y, and z. I promise you, that only happens when he's moved on to trying to see how many green beans will float in his milk.

After 5-10 minutes of no bites being taken, you can always wrap up her food and save it for later, and then offer it again in an hour or two. It just sounds like it's become a bit of a power struggle around meal times. Get her out and running around, and she'll work up an appetite!

ETA: My son is also 20 months.

[NYCVeg]

If she hates milk, why are you pushing it? My dd weaned at around 19 months (her choice) but NEVER touched cow's milk. She won't drink anything other than water. I just made sure she had a range of healthy foods available and gave her other kinds of dairy that she enjoyed (yogurt, cheese).

It sounds like you're the one making meal times work: entertaining her, spoon feeding her, etc. If you just make food (or milk) available and go about your business, you may find that you're both more relaxed about everything. Toddlers are very good at regulating their own food intake.

ETA: Dd is a relatively quick eater, and DEFINITELY a grazer. We ask her to try everything on her plate, but that's the only "rule" we have about food (and we don't push that one, either--if she absolutely doesn't want to try something, I'm not going to force her). Sometimes she'll eat her whole meal, sometimes she'll just have a few bites. I just keep giving her a reasonably healthy diet and don't get worked up about or emotionally invested in particular meals or foods.

[StrawberryFields]

Originally Posted by kittykat2481

Can you give her milk in a cup with her meal? Or even offer another drink if she doesn't like the milk. If she's getting a balanced diet, it's not so important that she drinks the milk. Spoon feeding her the milk sort of makes it a power struggle, which will only make it worse.

Originally Posted by NYCVeg

If she hates milk, why are you pushing it? My dd weaned at around 19 months (her choice) but NEVER touched cow's milk. She won't drink anything other than water. I just made sure she had a range of healthy foods available and gave her other kinds of dairy that she enjoyed (yogurt, cheese).

It sounds like you're the one making meal times work: entertaining her, spoon feeding her, etc. If you just make food (or milk) available and go about your business, you may find that you're both more relaxed about everything. Toddlers are very good at regulating their own food intake.

I totally agree with this, especially when it comes to the milk. I have two kids who don't like milk either so I just don't offer it to them very often... I don't understand spending 2 hours a day at the table spoon-feeding "milk time." That does sound like a lot of work and a lot of stress for you! I would just offer her a healthy and varied diet (with lots of good fats and protein) and not struggle with her on the milk issue.

Best of luck.

[srs]

Another vote for not pushing the milk. My DD had a lot of trouble digesting it until recently, and certainly at 20 months it would have caused her pain. Your DD may be trying to tell you something.

[OkiMom]

I really wouldn't worry about the milk. I usually add cheese to what we eat and have other things high in calcium since no one in my family likes milk. DD has probably had 10 4 ounce glasses of milk in the past year and a half.

[PikkuMyy]

Yes, there's no need for any sort of milk once they are eating solid foods instead of breast milk or formula. THere are lots of other ways to get protein, calcium, and D (which is just fortified in the milk anyway).

I nanny for a 2 year old who also eats very slowly and often requires some feeding to eat a proper amount. He loves to read books at the table, so my rule is that he has to begin eating by himself while I load the dishwasher, wipe the counters, etc. although I'll talk to him while he's doing it, and then after about 15 minutes, I'll sit down with him with a story and read while he eats. If he's tired, then he often is too tire to eat, and I help him with some spoons while I read so that he eats at least 1/3 more than he would on his own. (I'm not talking about a lot of food and it's all extremely healthy so there's no question of overfeeding him. He's a tiny guy.)

I'm sure your DD expects the current routine so if you want to change it, you'll have to be the one to instigate that. I'd go with - eating first, then Mommy joins you. Also, do you eat with your daughter? I found that the little guys I watch are very happy when I sit and eat with them.

[Jessica1501]

I forgot to mention an important point that I want to rush meal times. She usually goes to bed 5.5 hrs after the previous bedtime. So if she eats too slowly, her meals will be too closed to eachother or the next bed time.
Her schedule is like this:
8:00 - wake up
8:30 - 10:00 (including breakfast and milk or cheese, or yogurt)
12:00 - 1:00 - lunch
1:30 - nap.

I actually want her to finish lunch at least 1hr before nap time, but I can't force her to eat earlier because she is not hungry enough.
She has only 1 snack, because I can't find anytime to give her more. You may think 1hr is ok for meal time but if every meal and snack... take 1hr, that is too bad. If I don't help her, her meal time may last forever.

[calpurnia]

my dd eats most & easiest if she has hand held things that she can carry around with her while playing etc. perhaps that would suit your dd? it does mean we always have crumbs everywhere!

[Viola]

My children used to sit in high chairs at that age, which was kind of a relief with my second, who was into everything. It was a time when I knew were she was, and I could sit next to her at the table doing other things and not have her getting into everything. So I'd put her in the high chair as long as she was happy there, then I'd wash her off and let her down when she was ready. It didn't mean she always ate everything, though. Usually the food was just left out for her to snack on. With my first we did this a lot, because she wasn't a big eater at 20 months and didn't really like the high chair. I'd serve a variety of foods in a little muffin tin, and it would sit out on the kitchen table, and she could come and grab from it as she pleased. She had a sippy cup of milk or water on the table too, but just didn't really drink a whole lot of either at that age--she still breastfed quite a lot, however.

[Kidzaplenty]

Maybe you are just trying to get her to eat when she is not really hungry. Perhaps, just letting her have a snack plate left on the table to grab and go, throughout the day would work better.

I am with everyone else, rushing eating is a bad idea, even with a shortened schedule. But then again, I have never found that putting my children on a strict schedule worked well.

My oldest son is a slow eater. He can take anywhere from 45 minutes to 1.5 hours to eat. He is now 13 and is still a slow eater. I just let him eat at his own pace. He is very healthy, has a good appitite, but just eats slowly.

[Lisa1214]

I know how you feel? Yes, it is good for kids to eat at their own pace, blah blah blah. But after an hour or more and when you have to get them ready for school at a certain time, it is VERY frustrating. If you just cut them off before they've eaten enought (and Mom's know how much a child can eat-I don't care what ANYONE says about that) then you worry about them getting hungry! My guy will sometimes not finish after an hour or more, then he is looking for a snack an hour later - if it is at bedtime I'll often tell him, well - you should have finished more of your supper. Well, when he is in school, that cannot happen! I don't know what to do! I guess I'll try the timer.... I've tried encouraging, challenging, being firm. What else is there? My son is not a big kid and very active. He talks talks talks during eating times and is easily distracted. He is 5. He has never been a great eater, really. Sometimes he will eat at a normal rate, but usually no. PLEASE don't talk about eating so slowly is good. I don't think anyone is here because their child just eats slow - it's about taking TOO long of a time! Like well over an hour? Right Moms? So many opportunities are missed with such a slow eater. More time to play, or do things with family.....

[mommy212]

My DS did this for a while, and i loved it because the dining table is by the kitchen and he just sits and eats while we finish and do dishes, usually by the time I have dessert prepared (usually cut fruit) he is ready for it. Now he sits in his chair for 1-2 minutes or so and then is up running around again! If Ds still did this I would probably just use it as a good time to enjoy as a family, like talking or reading news or books out loud.