Is anyone scared?

[onelittleone]

I am due on September 23 with number 2 ... so where is this fear coming from? I want to have my baby ... but I am afraid too. My DD's birth was literally perfect. This pregnancy has been sooo different, that I am terrified of how different labor can be too.

I am totally uncomfortable - gained 50 pounds - have terrible pubis symphisis pain - and feel all stressed out. It's like I don't know what to expect, after the birth. I am scared of dying - scared my baby won't be healthy. Scared of how difficult life is going to be after baby arrives. Scared my DH and I will drift even further apart. Scared I won't have time for DD - even though she's in school all day. Scared of not being able to sleep. Scared of taking the levothyroxine during this pregnancy beacuse of Hashimoto's (thyroid issues). I am just a mess of anxiety ... that can't be good for the baby ... then I just feel guilty for not creating a safe haven for this baby to grow and be welcomed and loved ... I want to be filled with joy and excitement ... I want to know the joy will come ... I know all is as it should be ... All is as it should be. OK!!

I keep trying to be calm with myself and trust my body and my baby ... but I feel like I need to be honest with myself too ... and I am definitely freaking out a bit.

There I said it outloud ... kind of.

Anyone else or am I the only crazy one??

[hipmummy]

I am with you. Ds's birth was not perfect but it was not horrible. It was more post birth trauma with his care. Dh and I have pur ups and downs. He is miserable at work and is looking forward to a 12 week leave of which almost all is unpaid. But he will do some side jobs to make up the money. Yeh, I was so laid back ahen it came time to Birth ds. This time around I feel so anxious and on edge. The it could happen any moment factor play such a big role because these second ones don't usually mess around. We will get through it!!! :HUGS

[mamamia10]

I am in too....dd's birth was also perfect and so was the love and support of my friends and family...now I feel practically ignored. I too fear not having enough time for dd especially because I made a special effort to really get close with her this summer...I am also worried about the birth because this LO is also SO DIFFERENT...I am not as well rested or in as good of shape as I was with dd either...so I totally hear you
2 things
the MW told me today I am a "stretchy 3" which for some reason made me so happy...she also said when she went to feel his head he came way down in the BC so he is ready, willing and able to come to me...this gave me hope that he too is "smart" like dd was knowing when and how to birth himself
also
I have 2 friends who just had their 2nd like me kids are of opposite sex and very different and they too had all the same trepadations and excellent births and outcomes so I am going with that

I think if we did not fear/anticipate the change we would be worse off...or at least that is how I justify my feelings....I am hoping for all of us that looking in the eyes of our newborn children will wash all those fears away

PS--mercury is in retrograde

[2boyzmama]

Heck yeah I'm scared!!! This might be natural and beautiful and all that, but I still don't want to go through it!

My first birth was horrible, I mean really horrible, and I prepared myself for my second birth by saying "if I survived that, I can survive anything, and it can't possibly be worse!" which maybe wasn't the best attitude to have

But my second birth was fantastic, painful yes, but quick and no problems at all. Until he was born. Then he had so many birth defects we weren't expecting, all $hit hit the fan for a while there to get him stable and try to figure out what was wrong. I'd rather go through my first labor again than have an unexpected health issue in my baby.

I feel like this time everything should fall into place...my body and brain now know how to birth a baby, hopefully I'll have a great birth like my second, but a healthy baby like my first.

But it still isnt' something I'm looking forward to!!!!

[octobermoon]

yes of course i am scared at times. i think it's normal. i have never been through birth before. my biggest fear is that something will be wrong with the baby. i think about what labor is going to feel like often, i am trying to prepare myself for the most pain i have ever felt hoping if i prepare this way i won't be blindsided by it and will handle it better perhaps. i don't really buy into the whole thing of you get what you expect you will %100. i haven't found this to be true in many ways in my life. sometimes when i expect the worst i am pleasantly surprised that things weren't as difficult as i had thought....so we'll see. there are so many unknowns in this. i mean already i had one plan and it is turning into something different and i am OK with it. i try not to think about the things that could go wrong too much but also don't want to think it will be pain free and perfect either. does that make sense?

[saffrongirl]

You're definitely not alone. I really struggled with a lot of fear surrounding labor and delivery. My first l&d was long and painful with a lot of back labor but I had my dd at home with no interventions and I still see it as the most empowering experience of my life. However, I still felt really afraid for this second time - I guess it felt like at least with the first, ignorance was bliss. I ended up reading a lot of Ina May Gaskin's books again and reading some mantras on hypnobirthing. I didn't do all the classwork of hypnobabies, but I just found some good mantras that stuck with me. I also really try to focus on positive birth stories (found this board) and focus on the fact that I KNOW I can do it. Now I'm ready and I just keep reminding myself that all I have to do is relax and breathe - my body knows everything else.