Ok I'm really not enjoying this anymore

[~Boudicca~]

DD2 is 29 months and nurses quite often (IMO) throughout the day. She has a 1/2 session in the morning before we get out of bed, then while I'm making breakfast she stalks me wanting to nurse, then after breakfast she wants to nurse. Then she leaves me alone for a while but during the course of the day when she and her sister are fighting and she inevitably gets hurt she wants to nurse, if I happen to sit down on the couch that is her cue to pounce on me until I lift up my shirt and nurse her. Then she nurses before naptime, nurses before bedtime, and then nurses 2 more times in the course of the night.

She nurses as often as she did when she was an infant, I am sure. The thing is, I'm just not enjoying this anymore. There are a few times a day where she is chanting, "Boob! Boob!" while I'm in the middle of something and god forbid if I don't stop right there to nurse her because she will throw a tantrum and do everything she can to get into my shirt. I can't take the screaming anymore.

Her latch sucks! No pun intended. She is careless about latching on, and distracted like your typical toddler and thinks that my nipple can stretch around the block when indeed it can't and my nips are really sore. There are times where my poor nipples can't take anymore and I will try just snuggling with her instead but she flips out and becomes really combative.

I am really not enjoying this anymore. It's old. I feel touched out and annoyed by nursing. But there are those times where I really cherish those cuddly nursing moments and I can see in her eyes how much she appreciates her booby time and I don't see how I can take it away from her. Not to mention the fact that I am positive this is my last kid and nursing is so important to me since I didn't do it with my first daughter. I'm all for child-led weaning but I feel like I am more aggravated by breastfeeding than anything else right now.

Are these just normal growing pains of a breastfeeding relationship, a "this too shall pass kind of thing?"

[velcromom]

I think I posted something really similar to your post when my ds2 was two-ish... his latch was pretty much trashed and I was burned out. I went thru a couple of phases of nursing aversion that made me sometimes feel : or even when he asked to nurse. Usually it was compounded by AF hormones and I just had to gradually help him to learn that I couldn't nurse every. single. time. he asked. I think this is a phase that calls for some major distraction techniques. One thing that helped us was being outside - for whatever reason, ds rarely asked to nurse when we were outside playing. He also loved it when I'd make a big bowl of dishsoap bubbles and put it on a big blanket with lots of spoons and cups.

Now I have dd who is 26 months and she also wants to nurse whenever she sees me sitting and I am trying to help her learn to wait. I tell her when the next time I'm willing to nurse is going to be ... I find she asks most in the evening so I say, "We'll get cozy together at..." (cozy is her word for nursing) and she knows the answer and says "bedtime!" in fact I just told her that as she was sitting whining that she wanted to nurse at the computer. She said ok and then asked me where her camera was and off she went... it's taken several months for her to learn that and she might persist for five minutes but she will most times accept the delay. I know every nursling is different but maybe something like that could work for you.

[gillibean]

I could have written your post a few months ago when DD was 32 months, especially the part about me sitting down being DD's cue that I was available for nursing. I was starting to feel resentful so I figured it would be best to cut back a lot. I decided to nurse her when she first woke up and right before bedtime. At first I nursed her before her afternoon nap but then she started not napping anyway so I just cut that one out too. I also have decided that if she doesn't ask, I won't offer.

For the first little while she'd bug to nurse during the day but I'd offer either cuddles or some milk/water or something to eat. I figured that she wanted to nurse because she was either in need of snuggles or food/drink and those needs could be met without nursing. It turns out that she rarely wants what I offered and I think she wanted to nurse because it was something to do.

I'm so glad we cut down, it has done a lot for helping me to have more positive feelings about it again.

[srs]

I felt a lot better when we cut down at 23 months or so. It's a relationship, and it has to work for both people in it. It's not all or nothing, especially at toddler age. I hope you can work out a balance that meets both of your needs.

[spirit4ever]

I was going to suggest nursing limits.. like just in the morning, before and/or after nap and again at bedtime... it was so much better for us too when I did that just after 2.

[SubliminalDarkness]

I agree with setting limits. Keep it to two or three times a day. It won't be easy to get there, but IMO, it's preferable to weaning altogether, or you continuing to be miserable with the status quo.

[~Boudicca~]

I 'm going to give setting limits a try, which I know won't be easy. I have tried distraction and offering food/drink/snuggles instead of nursing but not consistently because she is pretty determined and will shriek and tantrum regardless of what I'm offering her. It has been pretty hard to redirect her.

[Mama_Meme]

wow! This is my life right now. My nipples HURT. my patience is supremely low for the nursing thing. I feel like it hasn't "slowed down" at all since birth. I am constantly bombarded (whether we are outside or not) with the need for *num nums* and if she doesn't get milk, well, then it's uncontrollable screaming, punching, kicking, writhing and general total meltdown status.
I have tried the idea of cutting back but it certainly hasn't worked and has just resulted in more general breakdowns about every little thing....

I feel you Boudicca. I am right there with you. Not that this particularly helps, but at least you know someone is there, right now, sharing your problems.

I just keep tring to remind my self that soon she'll be 5 and this won't be an issue anymore. Keep your eye on the prize (of child weaning themselves.)

[Carita]

Well I think the limits thing is a good idea. what may be bothering you is that she is controlling you my demanding for milk and you have to drop everything or else she will tantrum. If it were anything else - a cookie, a toy, a movie, would you give in in the same way? Once you feel like you own your boobs again, your nursing relationship may improve.

[~Boudicca~]

Originally Posted by Carita

Well I think the limits thing is a good idea. what may be bothering you is that she is controlling you my demanding for milk and you have to drop everything or else she will tantrum. If it were anything else - a cookie, a toy, a movie, would you give in in the same way? Once you feel like you own your boobs again, your nursing relationship may improve.

Yeah! Exactly! And while I have no problem turning her down for a cookie, or a toy, or whatever else, refusing to nurse her makes me feel really terrible and guilty but I really need some boundaries for my own sanity. I feel like if it were up to her I would just sit on the couch all day long with my shirt up so she can have unlimited access to my boobs.

Funny thing I thought I'd mention it: every morning before we get out of bed the first thing she says, without fail, is, "Boob Mom?"

[Carita]

Well - trust your instincts as a mom. They are telling you that you need to set some boundaries for your sanity. My son too - "I want tatas!" thats his catch phrase. I find he asks for it more when I am doing something else, because he knows it will make me give him attention. So if he catches me when I really am busy, I ask him to wait until I am done doing XYZ. Or I say, are you hungry? and offer him some food or water. If it has been a couple-few hours since nursing last or if I'm not really that busy, then I will oblige him. But if it is 30 min after we just nursed, I will say, "you drank all the tatas, you have to wait until lunch time!" or something to that effect.

As long as you are offering her other food or water and she is eating that regularly throughout the day getting her propoer nutrition, don't ever feel bad about not giving in to her tantrums. you can do it! just stay consistent and confident!

[ShannonT]

I'm right there with you! DD is 29 months too and she's driving me bonkers. And my AF hormones don't get me annoyed with her, it's the O ones.

DD is currently working on the last 4 molars, so I'm trying to be sympathetic, and make sure to keep her "drugged" up -- lots of teething tablets, lol. The other night, she woke up for "ursies" every 10 minutes or so. She has given me 5 solid hours for the last 2 nights though, so maybe we're on to something here.

I have no advice for you though. I try not to sit down on the couch a lot, but she'll chase me down and climb all over me and drag me there.

I remind her that her latch is hurting and that she's biting me, but she just gets a mean look in her eyes and bits and pulls harder. I tried crying once, but she just cried in return.

I really want to make it through this flu season, but I don't think I'm going to be able to do it if she doesn't fix her latch.

[inkedmamajama]

Originally Posted by ~Boudicca~

Yeah! Exactly! I feel like she's a little boob nazi! And while I have no problem turning her down for a cookie, or a toy, or whatever else, refusing to nurse her makes me feel really terrible and guilty but I really need some boundaries for my own sanity. I feel like if it were up to her I would just sit on the couch all day long with my shirt up so she can have unlimited access to my boobs.

Funny thing I thought I'd mention it: every morning before we get out of bed the first thing she says, without fail, is, "Boob Mom?"

i can totally relate to your situation, i am going through the same thing with my 27 month old.

however, i just wanted to kindly ask you do not use the term 'boob nazi' it is so offensive to the millions of people in the world that were affected by true nazis and does not accurately represent what you mean. perhaps you mean to say, militant nurser? i know its a casual term that is often thrown around, but it really can hurt people as well.

[~Boudicca~]

Done.

[inkedmamajama]

Originally Posted by ~Boudicca~

DD2 is 29 months and nurses quite often (IMO) throughout the day. She has a 1/2 session in the morning before we get out of bed, then while I'm making breakfast she stalks me wanting to nurse, then after breakfast she wants to nurse. Then she leaves me alone for a while but during the course of the day when she and her sister are fighting and she inevitably gets hurt she wants to nurse, if I happen to sit down on the couch that is her cue to pounce on me until I lift up my shirt and nurse her. Then she nurses before naptime, nurses before bedtime, and then nurses 2 more times in the course of the night.

She nurses as often as she did when she was an infant, I am sure. The thing is, I'm just not enjoying this anymore. There are a few times a day where she is chanting, "Boob! Boob!" while I'm in the middle of something and god forbid if I don't stop right there to nurse her because she will throw a tantrum and do everything she can to get into my shirt. I can't take the screaming anymore.

Her latch sucks! No pun intended. She is careless about latching on, and distracted like your typical toddler and thinks that my nipple can stretch around the block when indeed it can't and my nips are really sore. There are times where my poor nipples can't take anymore and I will try just snuggling with her instead but she flips out and becomes really combative.

I am really not enjoying this anymore. It's old. I feel touched out and annoyed by nursing. But there are those times where I really cherish those cuddly nursing moments and I can see in her eyes how much she appreciates her booby time and I don't see how I can take it away from her. Not to mention the fact that I am positive this is my last kid and nursing is so important to me since I didn't do it with my first daughter. I'm all for child-led weaning but I feel like I am more aggravated by breastfeeding than anything else right now.

Are these just normal growing pains of a breastfeeding relationship, a "this too shall pass kind of thing?"

what kind of vocabulary does your toddler have? My 27 month old is almost the same way, and so I have started doing small new things that really have impacted how i view her nursing nowadays. if she wants to nurse and comes grabbing on my shirt, then i stop her first and talk to her a minute before she can nurse-like i say, hey freya, whats up? or did you want milk? first let me as you a question...do you like animals, whats the weather like, etc...just anything really to get her to stop, take a breath, and engage for a minute before nursing. at the least i will say fist give me a kiss and a hug and say please if you want milk. if she starts slipping all over my lap and taking my nipple with her i tell her that she has to stay still in my lap, that she is hurting me and hurting the milk and she cant nurse if she doesnt cooperate. that always gets her attention and she gets back into a good position. when im feeling really touched out, i offer her other things first-like freya do you want milk in a cup instead? do you want some green juice?(naked juice and water) do you want a cracker? water? cheese? etc...a lot of times she will say yes.

another thing i do is set aside times that i will nurse her unrestricted-like naptime is a time that i will nurse her to sleep and let her stay latched on as much as she likes. so now she gets that is her time and i think it gives her more patience to wait for the times when she knows i will nurse her as much as she wants.

i really do understand, because my daughter nurses a supreme amount i feel and it can really drive me up a wall...but im starting to get more patient with these new tricks.

HTH