Hi DiT! You’re obviously on the right track. The fact that you are interested speaks volumes as to your character. Good for you. Just know this from the onset; you are going to screw up. A lot. And you know what, more wisdom is gained from failing than from succeeding.
First off, read everything you can and discard all the advise that does not make sense to you. Second, pick one thing to focus on, change it, move to a second thing. Change takes time but you can do it.
I look at fathering in the following way. It works for me but YMMV.
My responsibility as a father (I call it my job but some people say that has a negative connotation. I disagree. It’s a great job.) is to have a big picture outlook. So, what is the big picture? This is how I see it; I am attempting to fill my child's tool box, the tool box they are going to go through life with, with all of the tools necessary for them to be happy, compassionate, caring, emotionally stable, social, productive members of the community.
So, first you have to decide what YOU value. After you decide what you value, live your life in accordance to those values. Always. Especially when it's the hard thing to do. Do you want your children to be patient? You must then be patient. Do you want your children to respect you? Then you must display respect to them and to others. Do you want them to be compassionate? You must display compassion. Do you want them to strive for honesty? Then you must be honest. Do you want them to have a work ethic? Then you must have a work ethic. All the time. Not when it's easy, all the time. Children learn more from watching and imitating parents than anyone else. Be the role model at all times.
Being a father has forced me to really reflect on how I live and what is important. I suggest you read up on attachment parenting, positive discipline and start to cultivate mindfulness in thought and action. You may agree with some of it, all of it or none of it but it will get you thinking. Everything that you do matters. Also listen to your own common sense.
As far as the frustration thing goes, that will take you understanding your child and yourself better. These little monkeys are just trying to figure out how it all works. You are the guide but they don’t speak the language all that well. So, you communicate by your actions and responses. Measure your actions and responses so that they are appropriate to the situation. I know for me that I become the most impatient and frustrated when I am trying to accomplish other things while watching my daughter. I just finished up a house remodel and have spent the last two weeks wanting to finish up little details here and there and got frustrated when I had to watch DD because I wanted to finish this up. I had to just let go of the idea that I was going to be productive on the detail work and focus on just being dad. Playing, eating, bath time, walks, reading books, new words, new signs, pulling grapes out of my shoes and the likes. I guess what I’m saying is that the lack of patience is a result of you grasping on to the idea that you want to be doing something else, not being present and just doing your job; being dad.
Yeah, I got the remodel done as well. I just had to sacrifice doing fun things that I wanted to do with my time in order to finish it up. No big deal. Parents sacrifice. It’s part of the job.
I liked the following article as well.
http://artofmanliness.com/2008/08/03...g-a-great-dad/
Tale care and peace,
Monkeydaddy
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