How do you emotionally detach yourself to get rid of stuff? - Page 3

[Shahbazin]

I'm just trying to avoid accumulating clutter, but you have to be on top of things, or it will drift in! A couple of things I ask myself are, "if I had to evacuate, would I take it?" & "if I was moving to a new house, would I need it?"

The "if you're not sure, put it in a carefully labeled box for a while, then get rid of it if you don't use/need it" trick is good, too.

We actually did lose all of our belongings in a fire 2 years ago, but while evacuating, I grabbed our "important documents" binder, & DH grabbed the computer hard drive, along with our babies & pets; there's a lot of stuff I wish I'd brought, but really, although there's irreplaceable sentimental stuff (photo albums, heirloom jewelry, hand-made craft items & tools, & the like), we didn't really look at the albums much (& had some of the more important pics scanned into the hard drive), I don't wear much jewelry, & I still have the skills to make more special craft items. Other things, we have the memories.

[wombatclay]

My parents have many health issues and recently moved from their farm (large farmhouse and barns) to a senior living apartment (two bedrooms, a few closets). My brother and I spent weeks going through the hundreds of boxes... rotten clothing, mildewed books, report cards from decades ago, hodge podge boxes of who knew what. Some boxes were 20-30 years old!

My brother ended up keeping 5-6 boxes, as did I. Hundreds of boxes cut down to fewer than a dozen. And even that dozen is likely to be downsized.

I think seeing how the emotional "save it all" plays out in someone else's life makes it easier to avoid in your own... I haven't seen the TV shows, but it sounds like the same thing. You can look objectively at someone else's "mess" since it's not your emotionally laden stuff. And then you can look more objectively at your own piles.

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I also use a technique my friend calls "kamikazi cleaning" where you don't let yourself hesitate at all... you can sort a lot of stuff into keep/trash/donate if you set a timer and go as fast as possible for 5 minutes, or ten minutes tops. I've got a real weakness for books and with a timer and a box I can purge a bookcase in minutes! Same thing with clothing and nick-nacks.

[HappyMommy2]

Originally Posted by Ksenia

:... I've read some books on organization for ADHD people. My dh doesn't have ADHD, but I think that a lot of the organization tips would work well for most people ....

Can you give us the name of those books?

[CageFreeFamily]

When we donated all of our things so that we could travel for a year (and simplify) I used several tactics:

If we didn't know we had it, didn't know where it was or hadn't used it in a year we didn't consider keeping it. Actually, we used this rule each time we packed for moving and generally donated an amazing amount of things with each move.... so they could re-accumulate at the new place

Another thing we asked ourselves was to find the intrinsic value of the item... and be honest... most things didn't actually have anything.

Anything that was kept simply because it "really might be useful!!" was an immediate NO.

Anything that posed a health risk to our family (plastics, painted items, aluminum cookware, etc) was tossed.

Duplicates of anything were mostly tossed.

At the end we filled two moving trucks with donations and whittled down our things to those that fit on a small RV and some boxes of sentimental items and books. Ultimately we couldn't fit everything we planned to on the RV and had to reapply our rules as we tried to organize, and honestly, we were never in need of anything despite this.

The sentimental items had to be trimmed way down too, because it all had to fit in one of my father's apartment closets. This was the only thing that was TRULY difficult. I went through the boxes over and over not finding anything that I could part with permanently, under the watchful lens of a photojournalist who was documenting the whole process, and I finally laid down on the floor and cried (the first time). I went to bed for the night, and in the morning I got rid of at least half of it, so that it all fit in the closet. I did not get rid of books LOL but trimmed my sentimental items to one small box.

A year and a half later and I could not tell you what it was that was so hard to let go of. I don't miss it, I haven't thought of it, my life is no less full without whatever it was.

My advice: Just do it... rip the bandage off and feel the relief in the healing end.

[flowmom]

Originally Posted by HappyMommy2

Can you give us the name of those books?

One I like is:
Organizing Solutions for People With Attention Deficit Disorder: Tips and Tools to Help You Take Charge of Your Life and Get Organized

This book has a lot of ideas about how people use space and can be helpful for problem-solving. Some of her solutions won't work for you, but honestly I think a lot of her ideas would work for most families where at least one member isn't that interested in maintaining order. I really like the before and after photos in the book. They are very eye-opening! I grew up with stuff crammed in storage spaces and I still live that way. Her book shows how to store things in such a way that you don't have to be a Tetris expert in order to put something away.

Check it out from the library at least!

[Quinalla]

This may sound a little weird, but after going through a house fire when I was in high school and losing pretty much everything, I ask myself "If my house burned down tomorrow, would I really care about losing this item?" This is a huge help in getting rid of 95% of clutter for me.

For clothes in particular, this is a weakness of mine as I love new clothes, I have a rule that for every item I put into my closet I have to remove at least one item. And really, if I haven't worn something for a year (except maybe dresses for fancy occasions or suits for interviews), how likely am I to wear it in the future? Especially for me with how much I love to buy new clothes.

[catscharm74]

I took my favorite things, like some artwork from my childhood and turned it into a special memento that now takes up only a small space on my son's wall. I made a collage out of my favorite pieces of my childhood artwork and let go of the rest. I took my son's home from the hospital outfit and had a shadow box made with a few other special memento's in it. Now, we do get him a Harley shirt from all the place we have traveled. I am working on a small quilt made from those that no longer fit. I also have his first Harley outfit shadow boxed.

I had to get rid of 4 boxes of family "heirlooms" after I became the recipient of them, though I didn't want them. They were kinda forced on me with the stipulation I would never get rid of them. I kept them for about 2 years and 7 moves and decided I had had enough. I called the gifter and when they were not wanted, I donated all 4 bins. My thought is it is my home and how do I want it to feel and how do I want to live.

Find creative and special ways to preserve those important things and donate, sell or give back the rest. Good luck!!!