This situation is kinda complicated, but I'm going to try to keep it as simple as possible.
My DD is three, and recently started playing with the neighbor, "Ann", who's seven. That's been wonderful, Ann is a joy to have around and DD having a great time.
We have another little neighbor who's only around part time, "Bethie". Bethie's dad is an OTR trucker, so for two weeks out of every month, Bethie's at her grandparents, who are our neighbors. Bethie's dad is a single parent, as far as I know, her mom isn't around at all. I've never met her dad.
Bethie has made it known that she is quite jealous of DD because she, Bethie, never gets to play with Ann anymore. This all came out the other day at the neighborhood playground. So we invited Bethie to come play with DD when Ann is here.
Bethie is a kind of an odd kid. She's a little rude and weird. I feel bad for her, to tell you the truth. Her grandparents, IMO, neglect her- when she was four, I came very close to calling CPS because she was literally in the street (not the sidewalk, but the street) for hours at a time. Ann's dad, who's also a single parent, takes Bethie a lot, and the grandparents, rather than being kind or grateful about it, are very rude to Ann's dad. I've heard the grandpa banging on the door of Ann's house and screaming, "Godd@mn it, where's Bethie?" too many times to not judge him for it.
So...
Bethie came over with Ann yesterday, and it did not go well. She is insane with fear about my dog. My dog is big and strong, yes, but has never bit anyone, ever, and loves kids. I trust my dog implicitly.
In the 30 minutes that they were here, Bethie had three major meltdowns about my dog- so it was pretty much one long crying jag. She came in the back door, and my dog approached the girls in greeting, and Bethie flipped out. As in, accusing the dog of trying to bite her, wanting to eat her, hitching breath, shrill screaming, the whole nine yards.
Then we got the kids in the house, and Bethie pitched another fit because DS, 3 mos, was lying on this little toy that he has, and the dog walked past him. You can't leave your baby there, the dog will eat him, the dog will crush him, etc. I tried very hard to reassure her that my dog loves the baby and will not hurt him, neither accidentally nor on purpose, but she clearly didn't believe me.
The girls went in the playroom and the dog laid down. When it was time to go, Bethie flipped out again because she had to walk past the dog to get to the door. She started screaming, "Put Nellie upstairs! Put Nellie upstairs!" Now, Nellie came in response to her name, and Bethie just *collapsed*. Screaming and hyperventilating. Nellie went over to sniff her- at this point, the dog was a little worked up because of all of the craziness, but frankly I thought she'd been maintaining pretty well given all the shrieking. Well, at Nelle's approach, Bethie lost it even worse- she started biting her own arm and sobbing. At this, I asked Bethie if any dog had ever hurt her, and she yelled, "Nooo, but one might!"
I am out of my depth here. Nelle never even touched Bethie at all yesterday. DD and Ann kept trying to calm Bethie down, too, telling her that Nellie is a nice, good dog. I feel bad for this child, and I don't want to exclude her, but all of a sudden, DD's playdates have gone from being my time to do a little housework to a five alarm fire drill. Ann is often here for 3 hours at a time, and I'm not going to kennel my dog for hours so Bethie can come over. That isn't fair to Nellie, especially if she's behaving well. And, frankly, I don't want a seven year old running my house for me. Plus, I don't think I'm doing Bethie any favors by indulging this hysterical fear.
Can anyone help me out here?
How do I handle this?
My DD is three, and recently started playing with the neighbor, "Ann", who's seven. That's been wonderful, Ann is a joy to have around and DD having a great time.
We have another little neighbor who's only around part time, "Bethie". Bethie's dad is an OTR trucker, so for two weeks out of every month, Bethie's at her grandparents, who are our neighbors. Bethie's dad is a single parent, as far as I know, her mom isn't around at all. I've never met her dad.
Bethie has made it known that she is quite jealous of DD because she, Bethie, never gets to play with Ann anymore. This all came out the other day at the neighborhood playground. So we invited Bethie to come play with DD when Ann is here.
Bethie is a kind of an odd kid. She's a little rude and weird. I feel bad for her, to tell you the truth. Her grandparents, IMO, neglect her- when she was four, I came very close to calling CPS because she was literally in the street (not the sidewalk, but the street) for hours at a time. Ann's dad, who's also a single parent, takes Bethie a lot, and the grandparents, rather than being kind or grateful about it, are very rude to Ann's dad. I've heard the grandpa banging on the door of Ann's house and screaming, "Godd@mn it, where's Bethie?" too many times to not judge him for it.
So...
Bethie came over with Ann yesterday, and it did not go well. She is insane with fear about my dog. My dog is big and strong, yes, but has never bit anyone, ever, and loves kids. I trust my dog implicitly.
In the 30 minutes that they were here, Bethie had three major meltdowns about my dog- so it was pretty much one long crying jag. She came in the back door, and my dog approached the girls in greeting, and Bethie flipped out. As in, accusing the dog of trying to bite her, wanting to eat her, hitching breath, shrill screaming, the whole nine yards.
Then we got the kids in the house, and Bethie pitched another fit because DS, 3 mos, was lying on this little toy that he has, and the dog walked past him. You can't leave your baby there, the dog will eat him, the dog will crush him, etc. I tried very hard to reassure her that my dog loves the baby and will not hurt him, neither accidentally nor on purpose, but she clearly didn't believe me.
The girls went in the playroom and the dog laid down. When it was time to go, Bethie flipped out again because she had to walk past the dog to get to the door. She started screaming, "Put Nellie upstairs! Put Nellie upstairs!" Now, Nellie came in response to her name, and Bethie just *collapsed*. Screaming and hyperventilating. Nellie went over to sniff her- at this point, the dog was a little worked up because of all of the craziness, but frankly I thought she'd been maintaining pretty well given all the shrieking. Well, at Nelle's approach, Bethie lost it even worse- she started biting her own arm and sobbing. At this, I asked Bethie if any dog had ever hurt her, and she yelled, "Nooo, but one might!"
I am out of my depth here. Nelle never even touched Bethie at all yesterday. DD and Ann kept trying to calm Bethie down, too, telling her that Nellie is a nice, good dog. I feel bad for this child, and I don't want to exclude her, but all of a sudden, DD's playdates have gone from being my time to do a little housework to a five alarm fire drill. Ann is often here for 3 hours at a time, and I'm not going to kennel my dog for hours so Bethie can come over. That isn't fair to Nellie, especially if she's behaving well. And, frankly, I don't want a seven year old running my house for me. Plus, I don't think I'm doing Bethie any favors by indulging this hysterical fear.
Can anyone help me out here?
How do I handle this?
Poor little girl 
I'll be sure to put that at the top of my mommy resume from here on out. I just know that the way she acted at my house didn't indicate stability.
her.
