Converts/Reverts to Judaism OR Islam...

[honey-lilac]

Could you basically tell me why you converted to one and not the other? I know each conversion story is individual and likely many people were influenced by a personal connection to someone they met that was of the religion.

But, if anyone was a "study all the religions to decide which one I'll be" sort of person, could you please tell me what drew you to one and not the other? I see a lot of similarities between the two. I know that's very flippant of me to say because of the relations between the two, and I do know that there are definite differences, but a lot of it seems to be cultural as well. Like, Islam seems to have a lot of Arabic in it, and Judaism has the whole Israel thing. (Not trying to be rude here.) But if you break it down from an outsider's point of view who has no more in common with one culture than the other, I'm just curious as to how people decide which one is better for them. (Or true, or however you want to phrase it.)

Honestly I am a mixed up person who was raised Roman Catholic, wishes she could be that but doesn't believe in the theology, has been pagan for a decade and loves the celebration but still doesn't believe in THAT theology completely, and keeps oscillating between trying to study Orthodox Judaism and Islam... and probably can't practice either one ever because of family issues. Oh, brother. Someone take pity on me and figure my spirituality for me, mkay?

[smeisnotapirate]

I grew up Catholic, too.

It's not flippant at all - I found myself loving Islam's culture just as much as I loved traditional Judaism's, but I found myself asking ok, what is it that I believe is TRUE? I really thought the Hebrew Bible was true, and found that the Midrash, Talmud and other commentaries really resonated with me. I couldn't get into the Jesus stuff, and was ok with most of Islam's scriptures, but not all. I found myself, in terms of theology, going for Judaism, so that was my deal-breaker.

That being said, I love hijab so much. I realized that I superficially loved Islam and all its visible trappings - mosques, the culture, the clothes, Arabic - but when it came down to "what am I going to tell my children about G-d and the world?" I was Judaism, all the way.

[honey-lilac]

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

I grew up Catholic, too.

It's not flippant at all - I found myself loving Islam's culture just as much as I loved traditional Judaism's, but I found myself asking ok, what is it that I believe is TRUE? I really thought the Hebrew Bible was true, and found that the Midrash, Talmud and other commentaries really resonated with me. I couldn't get into the Jesus stuff, and was ok with most of Islam's scriptures, but not all. I found myself, in terms of theology, going for Judaism, so that was my deal-breaker.

That being said, I love hijab so much. I realized that I superficially loved Islam and all its visible trappings - mosques, the culture, the clothes, Arabic - but when it came down to "what am I going to tell my children about G-d and the world?" I was Judaism, all the way.

You know, that's a very good point. From an outsider's point of view (which I am, as I already stated) it's easy to get the superficial trappings mixed into the theology. For lack of a better term, both religions are "exotic" to me. The whole culture of Islam is so amazing - all the things you mentioned, the art, the clothes, the beauty of the Koran, etc. But when you take all that away, and you take away Judaism's culture (which are also things I love - the holidays, for example)... Hmm, I guess I never *really* separated the culture out of either. And while culture IS important, the theology is MORE important. You've given me a lot to think about, thanks!

Incidentally, were you (or anyone else reading) deterred or encouraged by the whole "Judaism tries to discourage converts whereas Muslims try to encourage them"? I think back in college when I seriously considered converting to Judaism (pre-DH, when I was actually free to do so ) I think I didn't because I was so afraid of not fitting in, of not "getting" the importance of Israel, of having to go through the whole conversion process etc. Whereas in Islam you're welcomed with open arms, it seems. (Maybe not practically always but at least in theory.)

[umsami]

Originally Posted by Kaleanani

Could you basically tell me why you converted to one and not the other? I know each conversion story is individual and likely many people were influenced by a personal connection to someone they met that was of the religion.

But, if anyone was a "study all the religions to decide which one I'll be" sort of person, could you please tell me what drew you to one and not the other? I see a lot of similarities between the two. I know that's very flippant of me to say because of the relations between the two, and I do know that there are definite differences, but a lot of it seems to be cultural as well. Like, Islam seems to have a lot of Arabic in it, and Judaism has the whole Israel thing. (Not trying to be rude here.) But if you break it down from an outsider's point of view who has no more in common with one culture than the other, I'm just curious as to how people decide which one is better for them. (Or true, or however you want to phrase it.)

Honestly I am a mixed up person who was raised Roman Catholic, wishes she could be that but doesn't believe in the theology, has been pagan for a decade and loves the celebration but still doesn't believe in THAT theology completely, and keeps oscillating between trying to study Orthodox Judaism and Islam... and probably can't practice either one ever because of family issues. Oh, brother. Someone take pity on me and figure my spirituality for me, mkay?

Interesting question... for the longest time, I considered myself "just a monotheist", because I really couldn't decide between the two. I studied both--and felt called towards both. It would have been easier for me, at least in terms of acceptance from my family, etc., to have converted to Judaism. My Mom is rumored to be Jewish... going back a few generations... we grew up in a predominently Jewish area.... many friends and colleagues are Jewish...etc. The thing is, when I read the Qur'an... I also believed it to be true, so that's why I decided on Islam. I do believe that G-d gave Muhammed a message... that he was a Prophet. I do believe that Jesus was a very important Prophet. I could have easily converted to Judaism (well as easy as conversion is )... but in the back of my mind, I would still view the Qur'an as also being from G-d.

When I converted, I did not know one Muslim... yet I knew hundreds, perhaps thousands, of Jews. I converted pre-Internet (well, pre-browsers) too, so gleaning information about the two faiths was more difficult than it is these days.

Fast forward 15-20 years, did I make the right choice? I honestly don't know. I'll say I did, because I'm married to a great Muslim guy....and have three silly kids who I adore. So, G-d has blessed this choice. However, there are large large gaps between how Islam is meant to be practiced and how it is--and that can be frustrating. There are things in Islam that I do not fully accept, nor will I likely ever accept. I still do not feel 100% home in a masjid/mosque. They tend to be very clique-y... around ethnicities in my experience. So, all the Egyptians hang out... or Arabs... all of the Pakistanis hang out... etc. Rarely do I feel like my soul is energized by a khutbah (sermon). It is getting easier to find well-written info in English, but it is still difficult. It is still quite difficult for me to feel that my faith is nurtured. I find myself having to read Christian, Jewish, and Buddhist books and apply what I can. (Not that I mind, but it would be nice to have more stuff by native English speakers).


To this day, if I take the BeliefNet quiz, I still end up 99% for one and 100% for the other.


HTH. Good luck on your path.

[Liquesce]

Um. Without meaning to step on anyone's beliefs, I am not personally comfortable with a theology that does not soundly reject its own compatibility with atheism -- I disagree that actions may be valued in exclusion of beliefs (or vice versa, for that matter). I also am more comfortable wrangling with direct-word-of-god texts, and attempting to pin that to much of the Tankh would prove problematic. I am much more comfortable with the particulars of being an observant Muslim than an observant Jew, and I do agree that religious life is meant to be comfortable. As a theist I would disagree that there are or ever have been any people to whom my god and his messages are more or less relevant. Plus the life story of the prophet of Islam moves me, and the bottom line is I happen to believe he wasn't particularly crazy or manipulative or exaggerated. Once you believe a man when he says he's been talking angels on a mountain top, it's kind of hard to say he was just some guy in the desert.

[Summertime Mommy]

I was raised Catholic too.

I am Muslim now, but like umsami, sometimes I feel like I could have just as easily chosen Judaism. I will admit that the idea of a difficult conversion to Judaism was a bit of a deterrant to me. But the real reason that I converted to Islam over Judaism was because I read the Qur'an and realized how much sense it made. I had no doubt that this was also the word of God, and the more I read about Islam the more I felt "at home."

I also truly believe that the Abrahamic faiths are linked and each messenger was sent to humanity to reslove problems within the faith of the Abrahamic God, so in a sense I also felt that choosing Judaism over Islam would be like going backward rather than forward. To deny the existance of Jesus as a prophet seemed as wrong to me as denying the divinity of the Qur'an. While I have a deep respect for Judaism and Christianity, Islam seemed to be the only answer for me.

[honey-lilac]

Uh oh, I hope this thread stays as nice and polite as it is already because I really am scared now that someone's going to get defensive. :

Anyway, those are also good points that have come up with me. I also found it hard to believe that you can be atheist and still be Jewish - but it comes up again and again. But if you don't believe that God was the one who put you up to doing things you might not personally agree with, then why do it? (I'm talking circ for example. Which is why we can't really convert to either religion officially because DH is sure not getting circ-ed and I don't think DS is ever going to either unless he chooses himself as an adult.) If you do believe it's God's doing, then fine, His ways are more mysterious and unknowable so you do things that don't make sense to you. But if there IS no God? Hmm. So, is the whole "it's OK to be atheist" thing somehow OK-ed in Jewish thought or is it just random people who say it's OK? (If that makes sense.) Like random Catholics saying that birth control is OK in a married context, whereas official doctrine says no way?

As far as the "chosen people" message, I admit that confuses me also. You'd think that God would give the message to all of mankind. You'd THINK. But... It's not like God said that everyone else was doomed, just that everyone else could live by the Noahide laws and the Jews had to do all these OTHER things. But it's still a distinction between them and the rest of humanity, which is hard to accept and see why. Why wouldn't God want everyone to follow his laws? But yeah, I'm not God, so I wouldn't know anyway.

And the Jesus as prophet, well, hmm. I think PERSONALLY that there were many wise teachers out there through time, in different spots. In my current faith we view him as one of the many satvas, including Buddha, a lot of the saints, etc. I really wouldn't have a problem with including him in my practice, but I don't think I would necessarily have a problem with NOT including him, either, and just drawing personal inspiration from him instead of putting him in an official capacity. That one's not a sticking point for me... Hmm.

[imnottelling]

For the record, I believe that the way Judaism doesn't encourage converts forces those who do convert to be very serious about what they're undertaking. If it was so easy to convert, there would be a lot more wishy-washy people unsure of themselves taking on Judaism before really being committed.
My family is involved with many Jewish converts, and I see how much they've had to gain in confidence and be 1000% ready before taking the plunge (literally :P). I don't really know Muslim converts personally, but from the Jewish perspective, I see how committed the converts to that religion are because they've had to jump through hoops.
If one believes it's true, the deterring doesn't stop them.

And there is always the opportunity for someone to take on the Noachide laws instead of becoming a Jew, since Judaism isn't looking for newcomers -- Judaism observance is very hard, and it's not asked of anyone to take on voluntarily. I do know many people who have become Noachides instead because they do believe that Judaism is the correct religion, but don't feel it's their place to become a Jew.

Something else to think about

[Liquesce]

Originally Posted by Kaleanani

Uh oh, I hope this thread stays as nice and polite as it is already because I really am scared now that someone's going to get defensive. :

Yeah ... I kind of want to go back and and re-emphasize "me," "mine," "personally," "personal comfort," etc. I don't pretend that I have so cornered the market on truth that other options are impossible ... I just know what I can really grasp and puzzle together and what I can't.

[merpk]

Originally Posted by Kaleanani

Anyway, those are also good points that have come up with me. I also found it hard to believe that you can be atheist and still be Jewish - but it comes up again and again. But if you don't believe that God was the one who put you up to doing things you might not personally agree with, then why do it?

You have a basic problem here, which is that you don't understand that being Jewish is not just being a "follower of a religion." Jewishness is, yes, a religion, but it is also a peoplehood, a nation, an extended family, as it were.

You don't have to believe in G!d at all to be Jewish. If you're Jewish, you're Jewish. It's your ethnicity, is the best analogy I can come up with.

But in the Jewish religious belief, atheism is not an acceptable expression of Judaism.

I don't know how to state it clearer.

Originally Posted by Kaleanani

As far as the "chosen people" message, I admit that confuses me also. You'd think that God would give the message to all of mankind. You'd THINK. But... It's not like God said that everyone else was doomed, just that everyone else could live by the Noahide laws and the Jews had to do all these OTHER things. But it's still a distinction between them and the rest of humanity, which is hard to accept and see why. Why wouldn't God want everyone to follow his laws? But yeah, I'm not God, so I wouldn't know anyway.

Because G!d wants every people to connect to G!d in their own way. "G!d's laws," as you put them, are the laws that G!d gave to the Jews as their means to connect to Him. You aren't Jewish? Mazal tov; you have other ways of connecting to Him.

G!d chose to give this Law to the Jews. He chose other gifts for other people. Enjoy what you've got, and stop trying to fit Judaism into other peoples' theological constructs ... as in "why wouldn't G!d want everyone to follow His Laws." The whole "everyone must believe this way" or "everyone will eventually follow this belief set" (aka supercessionist religion) is NOT a Jewish belief. It is part of a Christian and Muslim idea, and yes, it has lead to conquering and forcible converting and all that stuff. Something which Jews don't do.






Anyone can convert to Judaism and graft themselves on to the Jewish tree. It is not, however, an easy process. It is the process, however, in which you choose to join the people who have chosen to connect to G!d in a particular way. That choice was made for us 3,000 years ago by our Alter Zeyde (great grandfather) Avraham. Yes, there are Jews who choose to reject what has been passed down through the millenia, there always have been. The rest of us choose every day not to reject it, despite wrestling with it every second.

And through it all, G!d chooses to be patient with us.

Which is maybe what is truly meant by "the chosen people."

[Liquesce]

Originally Posted by merpk

But in the Jewish religious belief, atheism is not an acceptable expression of Judaism.

What is being referenced is not ethnic vs. religious Judaism or whether or not it is an acceptable expression of religious Judaism, but rather the occasionally expressed viewpoint that it is a possible expression -- that it is more about orthopraxy, and with regard to whether or not a failure to uphold only the mitzvot surrounding beliefs directly is enough to declare apostasy outright. That it is not might well be one of those extreme fringe views people only run into on the internet, and if so I'm sorry for bringing it up

[honey-lilac]

Originally Posted by merpk

You have a basic problem here, which is that you don't understand that being Jewish is not just being a "follower of a religion." Jewishness is, yes, a religion, but it is also a peoplehood, a nation, an extended family, as it were.

I do understand that. If you read my responses above, I'm not sure if I was very clear about it but I did mention that I didn't "get" the whole Israel connection. It was a deterrent to me from converting. Not because I didn't think I could follow the laws. I knew I could do that. But rather, because I didn't know HOW you could become Jewish. It's like, I guess theoretically I could move to Sweden and become a Swede, but it wouldn't exactly be easy to assimilate completely because I wasn't born to it. I've lived in America half my life but I still don't feel fully American. So I have experience with not fully fitting into a culture despite living within it for many years.

Originally Posted by merpk

You don't have to believe in G!d at all to be Jewish. If you're Jewish, you're Jewish. It's your ethnicity, is the best analogy I can come up with.

But in the Jewish religious belief, atheism is not an acceptable expression of Judaism.

I don't know how to state it clearer.

That's pretty clear, and it helps. Often it's a little confusing when someone identifies themselves as an atheist Jew. And I've heard many times over (from various sources, probably not too creditable) that as long as you follow the mitzvah you're OK, whether or not you believe. But yes, the way you're putting it makes sense. Thanks.

I also want to respond to the second part of your post but I have to run - I'll be back later tonight and answer them.

[honey-lilac]

Originally Posted by Liquesce

What is being referenced is not ethnic vs. religious Judaism or whether or not it is an acceptable expression of religious Judaism, but rather the occasionally expressed viewpoint that it is a possible expression -- that it is more about orthopraxy, and with regard to whether or not a failure to uphold only the mitzvot surrounding beliefs directly is enough to declare apostasy outright. That it is not might well be one of those extreme fringe views people only run into on the internet, and if so I'm sorry for bringing it up

I know exactly the argument you're referencing, and I too thought it was more... widespread? When I agreed with you earlier. If it IS a fringe belief that'd be useful to know for my future foot-in-mouth moments. (Which I have a lot of, admittedly...)

[Liquesce]

You and me, Kaleanani: the twins.

[smeisnotapirate]

I think merpk is referencing the fact that it's not black-and-white, like the "Jewish atheists" reference. I know many ethnic (read: non-practicing) Jewish atheists. I know many fewer people who keep the mitzvot and refer to themselves as "atheists." If it was a trade-off of should I "keep the mitzvot and not believe in G-d" or "believe in G-d and not keep the mitzvot," most Jews would argue for the former. It's easier to come to G-d while doing the mitzvot.

But yes, it's a fringe belief, and one that leaves a LOT to be desired in religion. Why ever would you practice something for a god you don't believe in?

[merpk]

Your orthopraxy is here: Jewish thought holds that if you don't already believe, the act of performing the mitzvot will eventually bring you to believe. But that really only works for people who are already ethnically Jewish.

If you're not Jewish, it's not valid.



No traditional rabbi will convert someone to Judaism who professes to be an atheist. (Though I can't speak for a rabbi who willingly converts people "only for marriage" ... that is not traditional ... and I know there are rabbis like that and it's a relatively recent addition to the Jewish universe, and a purely American addition at that. But it being the last days of Elul, wanting to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, including rabbis, I'll avoid that topic entirely.)

[honey-lilac]

Originally Posted by merpk

Your orthopraxy is here: Jewish thought holds that if you don't already believe, the act of performing the mitzvot will eventually bring you to believe. But that really only works for people who are already ethnically Jewish.

If you're not Jewish, it's not valid.

That's really interesting, thanks!

If I wax philosophical, is it because eventually he or she is supposed to feel connected to all the other Jews in history? Or is it supposed to be from something like grace? Or both? I really hope I'm not being offensive, I'm honestly interested.

[chimomma]

To answer the original post, I can tell you I never considered converting to Judaism but I can tell you why I chose Islam and some of my experience with Judaism. Before getting on the path of conversion, I didn't have any real knowledge or experience with either religion. I felt a spiritual calling and was actively learning about different spiritual ideas and religions, mostly of the eastern mystical types, but none rang fully true to me or inspired faith. I had the Quran and Bible and decided to read both at once. I quickly lost interest in the Bible but kept reading the Quran and as I read on my heart changed and I had faith in the Quran. So from there I learned more about Islam and converted. The things that really keep me in strong faith that Islam is the true, complete, perfected religion are many, I will name a few:

The Quran- this book is amazing on so many levels. Every time I read it I am reassured of my faith. The beauty of it, you can hear it in the language even if you don't speak arabic. You can tell hearing it that it is not normal speech. Scholars agree it is one of the most remarkable and beautiful works of literature and it came through an illiterate man who was not a poet. People of all different cultures who speak all different languages have memorized it in its entirety even if they don't speak the language it was written in and don't understand any of it. Have you heard of that happening with any other book?

That brings me to speak to the historical accuracy of the Islamic text. The early Muslims scholars were very meticulous at record keeping and there is a rating system as to authenticity of all the religious text. As for the Quran, there is no doubt even by non Muslims (if they are educated about it) that the Quran is completely preserved in its original form. Nothing missing, nothing added. If we claim Allah or the Prophet, saaws, said something, we have to have strong proof of that and we do. It is an evidence based religion.

Islam is an all inclusive, complete, and balanced religion. It is a way of life for all people from all cultures in all times. There is no situation it cannot be applied to. Islam does not totally shun the responsibilities and provisions of this material world we live in, but it keeps on a track that relates it all back to Allah and our spiritual selves. Islam recognizes or humanly needs and gives us healthy outlets for them. If something is bad for us, it does not call for constant stark will power to resist it, we are given ways to avoid the temptation of sins by avoiding sinful situations and giving us protection from our human weakness. There is nothing unrealistic about Islam. You don't have to be super human to practice it correctly, you don't have to deny your human nature, just direct to a healthy place. We have a complete example for all details in our individual life and society by the example of the prophet Muhammad,saaws.

There are many things to lead you to Islam or even things you might not like but what ever your current feelings are I like to ask people this: if the Quran is not from God, than how do you explain it? The fact is to explain it away you need to use many excuses that contradict each other. Event he prophet’s greatest enemies during his time conspired as to what they should tell strangers about Muhammad, saaws, to make them disbelieve in his words. They went through a variety of excuses all of which they themselves knew were untrue. Like if you say it is a deception, then how do you explain the fact that events in the prophet’s life made it clear his faith was strong and he strongly believed he was a prophet. If you think he might have believed he was but in fact was not, then how can you explain the things found in the Quran that he wouldn't have known about on his own? If you think it was from Shaytan, why were we taught to say "I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed shaytan" before reading it? So love it or hate it if you don't believe in Islam then explain it. And if you can't, seriously consider the consequences of that.


Now for the other part of the question about Judaism, I am admittedly pretty ignorant about the details of it and never seriously studied it but have picked up tid bits here and there about the culture and some things in the religion from Jewish people when I used to work in a Kosher restaurant. And to note the similarities I remember one comment I found funny made my another non-Jewish coworker there "Man, these people are like Muslim." Anyways some of the things I noticed just seemed a little extreme or didn't sit well with me. If I am misunderstanding these things, please correct me.

First off, yes, the conversion thing. They way it was explained to me is that Jews did not have the attitude that other shouldn't be like them, but to convert you first had to have three Jewish people talk you out of it. To me as a person of faith, if I believe I have the truth, then I could not in good mind tell some one not to follow to truth sent by God. Just doesn't make sense that you could talk some one out of following God. I have picked up from this thread that maybe there is some other option in Judaism for non Jews to follow God so maybe that makes sense through a Jewish perspective. Even in Islam we do believe certain prophets were sent to certain places to send a message to a particular nation. But now the final prophet came for everyone to follow.

The other thing about Judaism that I have a hard time with is first that the women cannot read the torah. Maybe some one could explain the reasons behind that. To me it seems religious education is vital and useful to all people and I would have a big problem not being allowed to read the word of God which I am expected to devote my life to. And another thing I though was a little extreme is the purity issue, it seemed working in the kosher restaurant if something had touched the dairy, like a cooking utensil what have you, it could never be cleaned from that and it was for ever only for dairy. It just seemed like it is for ever tainted, where as in Islam something can be impure and it can be cleaned from the impurities and be useful again. That seemed like the more balanced view. Same with the treatment of women on their menses, the islamic view seems more healthy and moderate to me. Just my observations, not trying to put down what any one else follows. I know they do it to obey God and that is enough of a reason.

[LookMommy!]

Originally Posted by chimomma

The other thing about Judaism that I have a hard time with is first that the women cannot read the torah. .

Absolutely positively incorrect. While there are some far-right streams of Judaism that believe that teaching a woman Talmud (legal commentators on the Torah, very complicated) is not appropriate, I have never ever heard of a stream in Judaism saying that women cannot learn the Torah.

Unless you mean that women cannot chant the Torah portion outloud in a synagogue with men in the congregation? In that case, yes, most Orthodox groups feel that it would be unacceptable, because the men would be "distracted" by the woman's voice, or that it would indicate a lack of respect for the congregation (implying that no men were capable of reading).

Some Orthodox synagogues hold special all-women services where they allow women to read out loud. All non-Orthodox synagogues allow women to read outloud. All Jewish schools allow girls to study/read the Torah in a classroom.

OK, I realize that was not the main point of the post, but that's what jumped out at me.

Lisa

[imnottelling]

Originally Posted by chimomma

Now for the other part of the question about Judaism, I am admittedly pretty ignorant about the details of it and never seriously studied it but have picked up tid bits here and there about the culture and some things in the religion from Jewish people when I used to work in a Kosher restaurant. And to note the similarities I remember one comment I found funny made my another non-Jewish coworker there "Man, these people are like Muslim." Anyways some of the things I noticed just seemed a little extreme or didn't sit well with me. If I am misunderstanding these things, please correct me.

I'll take you up on that :P

First off, yes, the conversion thing. They way it was explained to me is that Jews did not have the attitude that other shouldn't be like them, but to convert you first had to have three Jewish people talk you out of it. To me as a person of faith, if I believe I have the truth, then I could not in good mind tell some one not to follow to truth sent by God. Just doesn't make sense that you could talk some one out of following God. I have picked up from this thread that maybe there is some other option in Judaism for non Jews to follow God so maybe that makes sense through a Jewish perspective. Even in Islam we do believe certain prophets were sent to certain places to send a message to a particular nation. But now the final prophet came for everyone to follow.

What Merpk said. It's not that people are trying to dissuade a potential convert from believing in G-d. Not at all! It's that being Jewish is a huge responsibility, and one can be a non-Jew and still believe in G-d and fulfill his purpose in the world without the responsibility of all the mitzvos that G-d commanded. There are mitzvos that I spoke about in my previous post that are for those who don't convert but believe in G-d, and those are called the Noachide laws. There are people who actually follow them.

The other thing about Judaism that I have a hard time with is first that the women cannot read the torah. Maybe some one could explain the reasons behind that. To me it seems religious education is vital and useful to all people and I would have a big problem not being allowed to read the word of God which I am expected to devote my life to.

Women learn the Torah. Religious education IS vital, and we have Jewish schools teaching girls plenty. Orthodox Jewish women do not read the Torah publicly at services for modesty reasons more than anything else. The synagogue is separated, and the men are in one section, the women in another and this way there is less distraction when praying to G-d. A woman can read the Torah all she wants in private, amongst other women, in a classroom setting, where ever. Just not at public prayer services.

And another thing I though was a little extreme is the purity issue, it seemed working in the kosher restaurant if something had touched the dairy, like a cooking utensil what have you, it could never be cleaned from that and it was for ever only for dairy. It just seemed like it is for ever tainted, where as in Islam something can be impure and it can be cleaned from the impurities and be useful again. That seemed like the more balanced view.

Again, misunderstood. The laws of kashrut are complex. If something hot was dairy and a spoon went in it, and you didn't want the spoon to be dairy, it's as simple as basically boiling it to get out whatever remnants of dairy are stuck in it to restore it to being non-dairy.

Same with the treatment of women on their menses, the islamic view seems more healthy and moderate to me. Just my observations, not trying to put down what any one else follows. I know they do it to obey God and that is enough of a reason.

Hard to address this when I don't exactly know what you think Judaism's view is
I've read plenty in books that claim to know what it's about and it's almost always completely wrong. So, on the flip side, what I've read about the Islamic view may be off base as well. If you can try to explain what it is you think is happening, it's easier to clarify.