ADD Support Thread *THREE*

[smeisnotapirate]

Our last thread got a bit unweildy, so for our third installment......................

It's late and I'm going to bed. Really.

[smeisnotapirate]

Oh, and why is it that my ADD seems to get WORSE around the holidays? This is the second year in a row that I picked out my sermon anthems the week of Rosh Hashanah. :

[heidirk]

yeah, mine does too... I just cannot keep that many plates spinning at one tme...it makes me :



so I am done with this class, and as expected, am completely aimless and unmotivated until I can adjust to the lack of stress.



on a happy note....

: I got my first PPAF! :

I was hopeing she would show soon, I feel soooo much less foggy! I do need to go to the store for some iron, though..

[MissMaegie'sMama]

I'm a diagnosed ADD mama. DS is a diagnosed ADD kiddo (non-hyperactive). Just thought I'd share since I'm new to the thread. I'm definitely going to check out the previous ADD Support Threads. Thanks for starting- I could use a little support.

[jessjgh1]

subbing..
Was wondering what PPAF was, but I think I figured it out before posting(-:
Jessica

[Maggirayne]

Shew!

Heh, that's I face, once I get a kid off my lap I should do something constructive/productive, but I don't want to.

Yay, glad you're glad, Heidi. It helps to have PPAF? I'm thrilled for NOT having it. We're at 13 weeks postpartum, so twice as long as the first time so far!

[journeymom]

Hello, ladies!

I'm patting myself on the back because I reclaimed about 5 square feet of floor space in the laundry room today. And over came an emotional block.

Two years ago I got it into my head that I would make beer. My mom and dad made beer a few times when I was a kid. I have their old bottle capper. You need a couple of big containers for fermenting, and my girlfriend's husband actually has the proper glass ones, called carboys. They're enormous glass bottles, basically. He lent them to me, I tucked them into the corner of the laundry room and... well, you know what happened.

:

Today I dusted the bottles off and returned them. Hooray!

I seriously have a lot of issues about expectations and 'the way things should be' wound up with my mom. She was very talented, creative and hard working. Aside from making beer, she made root beer, canned fruits and vegetables, sewed prolifically, knitted and crocheted, put on fantastic dinners, wall-papered, painted, gardened, and just on and on. And she was good at all of it. And she worked full time (teacher, two months off in the summer).

You know, I don't even like beer that much. It feels good to own that.

We had dinner at my brother and sil's home yesterday and we figured out that it's my turn to host Thanksgiving dinner. Yay! I love Thanksgiving! :

Our house is a bit of a mess. That's an understatement. Dh and I stayed up late last night talking about how things got this way and what we think we can do about it. We've had this conversation many times before. But I've been in therapy and have been working very hard. I think I've made quite a bit of progress, and it's finally paying off.

I know, returning a couple of objects to their owner and clearing up a corner of the laundry room doesn't sound like a big victory, per se. But it's huge to me.

[heidirk]

Originally Posted by MissMaegie'sMama

I'm a diagnosed ADD mama. DS is a diagnosed ADD kiddo (non-hyperactive). Just thought I'd share since I'm new to the thread. I'm definitely going to check out the previous ADD Support Threads. Thanks for starting- I could use a little support.

Hi! Welcome!

Originally Posted by jessjgh1

subbing..
Was wondering what PPAF was, but I think I figured it out before posting(-:
Jessica

Originally Posted by Maggirayne

Shew!

Heh, that's I face, once I get a kid off my lap I should do something constructive/productive, but I don't want to.

Yay, glad you're glad, Heidi. It helps to have PPAF? I'm thrilled for NOT having it. We're at 13 weeks postpartum, so twice as long as the first time so far!

glad I'm not the only one, M...once the adrenaline fades, I'm

well, I think the hormonal build up beforehand was causing brain fog. Now that it's here, I feel much clearer. 11 months was long enough!
plus, my pretty mama cloth was just sitting around waiting for me!



now I'm just waiting for my grades...

[smeisnotapirate]

Congrats, journeymom! I totally get it - when I can actually get to my piano, I'm thrilled.

Congrats to you, Heidi! I think you're insane, but I'm happy for you!

Feeling very accomplished that I've put EVERY ONE of my students' assignments into the computer tonight. : That's a first! I need to keep up with this habit.

[pookel]

Subbing!

[heidirk]

journeymom....just :

and about Thanksgiving...oh my!

[heidirk]

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

Congrats, journeymom! I totally get it - when I can actually get to my piano, I'm thrilled.

Congrats to you, Heidi! I think you're insane, but I'm happy for you!

Feeling very accomplished that I've put EVERY ONE of my students' assignments into the computer tonight. : That's a first! I need to keep up with this habit.

Sara, you may call me insane...I don't mind, really! Mama cloth makes AF 100% better. :

gotta run!

[heidirk]

hello!

DS1 demanded that we not go anywhere today! so we aren't.

so now I need to find soemthing to do for him besides videos.

HHmmmmm.....

I need to start a weekly routine foir him again..it worked so well while I was PG with Ds2..
did I mention that the baby is cutting 6 teeth?

[journeymom]

Ouch! That's a lot of teeth.

[heidirk]

I really need to clean my house.....oh, sorry, where was I?



I really need to clean my house....

[smeisnotapirate]

I made it through Rosh Hashanah. That's the easy one.

[waiting2bemommy]

Originally Posted by journeymom

Hello, ladies!

I'm patting myself on the back because I reclaimed about 5 square feet of floor space in the laundry room today. And over came an emotional block.

Two years ago I got it into my head that I would make beer. My mom and dad made beer a few times when I was a kid. I have their old bottle capper. You need a couple of big containers for fermenting, and my girlfriend's husband actually has the proper glass ones, called carboys. They're enormous glass bottles, basically. He lent them to me, I tucked them into the corner of the laundry room and... well, you know what happened.

:

Today I dusted the bottles off and returned them. Hooray!

I seriously have a lot of issues about expectations and 'the way things should be' wound up with my mom. She was very talented, creative and hard working. Aside from making beer, she made root beer, canned fruits and vegetables, sewed prolifically, knitted and crocheted, put on fantastic dinners, wall-papered, painted, gardened, and just on and on. And she was good at all of it. And she worked full time (teacher, two months off in the summer).

You know, I don't even like beer that much. It feels good to own that.

We had dinner at my brother and sil's home yesterday and we figured out that it's my turn to host Thanksgiving dinner. Yay! I love Thanksgiving! :

Our house is a bit of a mess. That's an understatement. Dh and I stayed up late last night talking about how things got this way and what we think we can do about it. We've had this conversation many times before. But I've been in therapy and have been working very hard. I think I've made quite a bit of progress, and it's finally paying off.

I know, returning a couple of objects to their owner and clearing up a corner of the laundry room doesn't sound like a big victory, per se. But it's huge to me.

Can I ask a question? how exactly does therapy help with ADD? I'm sorry if that sounded snarky, I don't mean it that way, I really am curious, because I have my first appt with a counseling center on Tuesday and I have no idea what to expect or what direction it should take. I'm just really curious (and nervous) about what to expect but I am hoping for big changes! I cannot stand the state of my life anymore.

[heidirk]

Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate

I made it through Rosh Hashanah. That's the easy one.

I'm very proud!

Originally Posted by waiting2bemommy

Can I ask a question? how exactly does therapy help with ADD? I'm sorry if that sounded snarky, I don't mean it that way, I really am curious, because I have my first appt with a counseling center on Tuesday and I have no idea what to expect or what direction it should take. I'm just really curious (and nervous) about what to expect but I am hoping for big changes! I cannot stand the state of my life anymore.

My sister told me to go have Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. THey basically teach you how to think about what you're thinking. It helps with breaking destructive thought cycles...

hhmmmm...journeymom, is it a different kind than that?

[waiting2bemommy]

hmmm....so it's kind of like talking yourself through life? I do that now, lol. But obviously not very effectively.

Can they offer medication to go along with it? I really think I'm at the point now where I need a little chemical help to get out of my rut and feel better. Or does that alter the effectiveness of being in therapy? Also, how long term is the therapy? I would imagine that it takes a long time of repeated sessions to make a difference. Sorry, I should probably google this, right....

[journeymom]

You should definitely google 'cognitive behavioral therapy'.

I've tried therapists off and on for 24 years. It was all useless until I started the medications. I'd just sit there and talk about my mother and while it was nice to get validation some times, 99% of it was a waste of my time.

About 15 years ago I started an antidepressant. About 7 years ago I started a mood stabilizer. They were monumentally helpful. I was able to calm down enough, focus enough, so I didn't fly off the handle every time my kids/husband/dog pissed me off. But notice I took them for years. I only started therapy about a year ago. I really think the full benefits of medications aren't realized for a lonnnng time after a person first starts taking them, years later.

I think my present-day therapy wouldn't be nearly so helpful except that I've been on these medications that have helped condition my present state of mind. I wouldn't be able to focus on a thought long enough to benefit from the therapy.

The thing is, I've been doing a lot of self therapy my whole life. I've been observing myself interacting with the world, and wondering why I am the way I am. What does it mean about me that I did this just now?

And, yes, how did my parents, how did my relationship with my mom make me the person I am today?

Read 'Feeling Good' by David Burns. I learned how to catch myself thinking unhelpful thoughts. See my signature, testing my thoughts for accuracy. That's what I'm trying to get in the habit of doing. I tend to 'read minds'. For example, I'll think that if DH says thus and such he really means something else. Which leads to all sorts of distorted conclusions. So I periodically stop and wonder, is he actually being snarky and sarcastic? Should I take offense? Or is he really just curious about why I did something? He loves me. I know I tend to distort. I should give him the benefit of the doubt.

It's really hard work.

I think what my therapist and I are doing is not CBT, it's 'intensive short term dynamic psychotherapy'. From wikipedia:

ISTDP's primary goal is to help the patient overcome internal resistance to experiencing true feelings about the present and past which have been warded off because they are either too frightening or too painful. The technique is intensive in that it aims to help the patient experience these warded-off feelings to the maximum degree possible; it is short-term in that it tries to achieve this experience as quickly as possible; it is dynamic because it involves working with unconscious forces and transference feelings.

But I've heard over and over that CBT is one of the most helpful types of therapy.