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ADD Support Thread *THREE* - Page 7

post #121 of 284
Thanks Jess, and I hope you trials go very well.
I will checkout that Hale's site. Milo is over 1 year old, but he still nurses a lot at night. Which one gave you headaches?
post #122 of 284
Thread Starter 
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
3. I am afraid that if anyone really knows how crappy I am as a housekeeper, cps will come and get my kids. I have to go open myself up to a whole nother human, and risk rejection! I don;t know this person! I don't know if she's a good doctor or a crap one. oh, and I hate doctors. forgot to mention that.
You're not a crap housekeeper! Sure, your house doesn't look like a Martha Stewart staging, but your boys are clean (as clean as boys that age can be ) and your house doesn't have trash all over it, and let me tell you - you've got meals down pat. I haven't even BEGUN to understand how to feed DS a balanced meal for lunch, but every time I go to your house, something yummy is in the works. CPS would laugh if the counselor tried to say you were a bad mom.

Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
negative needing chemicals thing- sigh... I should be able to do this without help right? I mean that's what everyone else is doing. not you guys, I mean, but all of the other mommas around me do just fine! Darnit, why do we not talkm more about how hard it is to be a momma? I know that the five other moms in my church specifically can't be having as peachy-easy time as they act like!
Keep in mind, you probably are going a different journey with your boys. Especially with GD and a system that respects your child instead of just leaving him to figure things out on his own, you're on a totally different path (probably) from the women at your church. You're not doing what every other mom does for their kids - you're going above and beyond, trying to develop boys who are respectful, full of confidence, and who will have a great relationship with their parents. So yeah, they may be having it easier than you - but in 5 years when their 9yo is talking back and sullen and you're able to reach out to Henry and sit down and talk with him, your hard work should pay off.

Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
as far as meds go, I need to be on meds, even if it means weaning. There, I said it. I am crying crap crap..... I had a nursing goal of 2 years this time, and Milo has gone from baby to 1 year old so fast I feel like I wasn't even there. My nipples are so bad with psoriasis right now, I don't even want to nurse. My self esteem is so low right now, and that's not normal for me.
You may not have to wean. When I was on Lexapro after DS was born, I didn't have to - and even the meds that are mildly contraindicated, my FP said at worst, you could go down to nursing once in the morning and taking your pill right afterwards. So you may have options that won't require you to wean.

Originally Posted by jessjgh1 View Post
And if you need to wean, we (well, I'm pretty sure I can speak for everyone here) will have tears and hugs for you and support you in that, too.

Jessica! Sounds like you need some today, too.
post #123 of 284
Thanks Sara...you are the voice of wisdom today.
post #124 of 284
I just want to cry right now. I had the WORST day at work, got myself together, went and had a wonderful u/s (thanks to my coworker who gave me a ride), got home and popped onto craigslist, and discovered the MY JOB is posted. They didn't even try to hide it; the name of the center and everythign si right there to see.

I KNOW I am messy. I also know that I am a GOOD teacher. I love the children. I am good at teaching. But I am disorganized and scattered. I am struggling to keep up. I really, really, REALLY don't want to lose this job. Ds and I are having a hard time in our current living situation and we will probably be moving into a shelter housing program soon. I cannot, on top of that, make him change schools. Its just too much. I don't want ot do it to him. My heart is just breaking for my ds because I want SO BAD to do everything right, and I am feeling like a total failure right now. I am trying really ahrd at work, I am. I'm so overwhelmed. There is paperwork to keep on top of, paperwork for social services. I still haven'r collected all my paperwork for the job (like references and such) becase I'm at work from 8-6 every business day and I don't have a car to do errands on my lunch break. When I think about all there is to do I just feel like I start to shut down mentally.

I'm drinking more coffee than I should be being pregnant, because that's my way of self-medicating to help me get through the day. I want to go t the dr and get medication, but I can't take off work t go and she doesn't have evening/weekend appts. I have to go to that dr because I still don't have my medicaid and she is the only person who will see me and work with me giving me samples and such.

I just needed to vent I guess. I'm feeling like a total failure right now....I know i'm overreacting (my bf says it's the hormones, lol). I can't keep just drinking coffee (not that it completely works, but it helps) because at my midwife appt tuesday I was dehydrated and I'm sure it's due to me drinking the caffeeine and not replacing it with enough water.

I just want to burty myself somewhere for a while until it all goes away. I just want to keep this job, for ds' sake. I know I CAN do it, if I could just get orgainzed and get everything straight. The whole center is chaotically run and lacking in basic supplies but I NEED to make this job work, fr ds' sake. I'm just.....ugh.
post #125 of 284
Thread Starter 
post #126 of 284
So... I haven't participated AT ALL in this new thread. And barely in the last one. Jeez, you'd think I had some kind of attention issue...

waiting2bemommy... many hugs.
post #127 of 284

ITU about wanting to go hide in a hole for a while... I am terrified of ever having to re-enter the work force because I am exactly the same way. How entirely crappy of them to post your job!
post #128 of 284
Hi, I'm new to the thread. I haven't had insurance for awhile and finally do & have an appointment on Tuesday. I have suspected that I've had add/adhd (is there a difference?) for awhile. I'm going to tell my doctor on Tueday and see what he says. Can you tell me what to expect? How do they go about diagnosing? What meds have worked for you? From what I've read, stimulants are best. I'm a little iffy about them, but I guess it's no different than the pot of coffee I drink daily, right? I've read that Strattera is good and non-stimulant, but there isn't a generic for it and I can only get generics. Thanks for answering my questions!
post #129 of 284
Waiting2bemommy if I could just get organized is a common sentiment for all of us, I suspect.

Originally Posted by inkslinger View Post
Hi, I'm new to the thread. I haven't had insurance for awhile and finally do & have an appointment on Tuesday. I have suspected that I've had add/adhd (is there a difference?) for awhile. I'm going to tell my doctor on Tueday and see what he says. Can you tell me what to expect? How do they go about diagnosing? What meds have worked for you? From what I've read, stimulants are best. I'm a little iffy about them, but I guess it's no different than the pot of coffee I drink daily, right? I've read that Strattera is good and non-stimulant, but there isn't a generic for it and I can only get generics. Thanks for answering my questions!
ADHD = attention deficit hyperactive disorder. This is the official term in the medical community. But it's still referred to as ADD in the non professional world.

Not everyone with attention deficiencies is particularly hyperactive. This is described as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Predominantly Inattentive Type. Some people say ADHD non H. For myself, I simply say adhd, even though I'm not at all hyperactive. I think getting very specific with the alphabet soup is probably most important to the medical community. It IS important to not overlook the non-hyperactive, primarily inattentive types. These people were/are overlooked a lot, because the squeaky wheel gets the grease, the hyperactives attract more attention. Think of the wiggly, disruptive school boy vs the day-dreaming school girl.

The medications that were created specifically for adhd are stimulants. But other medications are used to treat attention deficiency symptoms as well. Like antidepressants, anti anxiety meds and mood stabilizers.

For example I take Wellbutrin for depression, but it does help me focus. I take Lamictal for mood swings, but again it helps me focus. People have attention problems for different reasons.

As far as medication is concerned be prepared to experiment. Doctors do their very best to make a good diagnosis, but it really comes down to treating symptoms. I think most adults dealing with cognitive disorders have tried several meds before they find a good solution.

1) With any one med try different doses. There is a balancing point where you get the most benefit from the med you can with the least amount of side affects.

2) Give the med plenty of time to work. The manufacturer may say it takes 2 weeks or 6 weeks to come to full effect, but seriously, give it longer than that.

You should expect that this is simply the beginning of your journey. You'll progress in fits and starts. Keep an open mind. You need to simultaneously be a firm advocate for yourself (because YOU are IT! There is no one else in this world who will toot your horn better than you.) and be patient with the doctors. So much of this is guessing and experimenting.

Studies have found that while medication is helpful, people benefit much more when they add some kind of therapy.

An interesting side-by-side comparison of adhd and bipolar II.
post #130 of 284
journeymom- I think its safe to say this is one thread you can't kill!
Although I seem to be doing my best!

Hi inkslinger. I drink a pot of coffee too, but am terrified of stimulant meds. ITA with everything journeymom said. I say ADD for myself, because I am mostly never hyper, unless I really like you and you come over to my house. Then I can't shut up. I suspect I hover, too.

Congrats on getting an appointment! I hope it goes well for you.
post #131 of 284

I had my appointment today...thanls to smee who watched my boys.

I will write this out later when I have energy.
post #132 of 284
I haven't been around much.

waitingtobemommy, can you call and leve a message for the doctor to return your call?

Hi everyone, I've been more active over on Gentlechristianmothers and just worn out. Also trying to di Christmas projects. Agggh!
post #133 of 284
if ADD/depression was completely ruining everything (ok, it's probably not ruining everything, but it's pretty bad) and you couldn't get in to the doctor in the foreseeable future (and this is the only doctor you can see because of having no insurance) would you consider buying off someone else?

I wouldn't think twice about it if I weren't pregnant. I am desperate. I am having the feeling of wanting to do something crazy just so someone will NOTICE how bad I am struggling. I am only keeping together for my ds. My whole life is up in the air right now because of my lack of focus and my apparent inability to SHUT.UP. I have no social skills according to my boss. I'm suspended for 5 days because of something I blurted out that was taken offense to (and I did NOT mean it that way, at all.)

My kid is always mad at me because I am the enforcer of all things evil like baths, and goig potty, and tooth brushing and bedtime. All the fun stuff, grandma takes voer and doesn't give me a chance to enjoy my child. I cna't enjoy him, but I am sitting here struggling so hard to keep my s*** together for HIM, and I can't even enjoy reading a book to him or playing wtih him without being told I'm doing it wrong or having ehr take over. All I do is fight for everything from the minute I wake up til the minute I go to sleep. I was supposed to be moving soon which would have tremendously helped my emotional state, but with a 5 day suspension there is no way I will be able to afford it now.

someone I trust is willing to give me a bottle of celexa (a really low dose). It looks safe for pregnancy from the research I have done. Would you take it? I really feel like if I don't take something NOW, I might just have a total breakdown.
post #134 of 284
Thread Starter 

To answer your question........... I'm not sure. I would probably go postal on my mom first (safer than going postal at work, you know?). You can't ask the doctor to call in a low-dose prescription?
post #135 of 284
Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post

To answer your question........... I'm not sure. I would probably go postal on my mom first (safer than going postal at work, you know?). You can't ask the doctor to call in a low-dose prescription?
I'm going to call again tomorrow and ty to get across that I am feeling really desperate to get what I need to function. In addition to ADD I have depression that mostly flares up under stress (don't we all) plus I have been having anxiety attacks again.

As far as going postal lol, I can't go anywheres near postal with my mom because she would LOVE any excuse to call me unfit and involve CPS or just make my life a living hell by trying to get me declared unstable or incapable of caring for ds. she's a;lready done it a couple times. So I have to be really careful not to show any signs of mental illness around her; I just let her think I am lazy and don't care because being labeled immature or ungrateful is a lot safer than letting her find out that I am really struggling.

She is the one who went behind my back and canceled my first doctor's appt a couple months ago, which is why I haven't been yet....I had to wait for an opening that didn't mess with my work schedule (because if I leave work for the appt I have to take the bus and it will basically eat up my whole work day, unpaid plus they don't like us to schedule appts during work hours)
post #136 of 284
Waiting2bmommy ~ I'm so sorry! Why would your mom cancel your appointment? I know the feeling of desperation.

I've been waiting for about two months to finally get my referral and have my appointment. The time is DRAGGING. Plus I'm trying to get organized for Christmas and then go and have Christmas at mom's, Mil's, here. My life is sucking for me right now. I am SO short-tempered. Even in the morning when I first get up. My older DS just needs me so much and it is SO irritating. He is 4.5!!! To make matters worse, the parent educator at preschool told me she thought he should be evaluated for developmental delays/disabilities. Great. I'm trying to figure myself out here and now I have to figure him out too!! This has not been easy on my relationship with DP. I took the PPD quiz (granted my baby just turned one!) and I scored pretty high. I just want to be happy! I think for me, right now, depression is at the top of my list. I need to take care of that before I can work on the ADD. Although I'm sure the ADD is some of what's causing the depression, but there is more to it than that. Lately I've been feeling SO burnt out on being a mom. Really questioning my desire to BE a mom. Although I can't change anything now. I know I need to get out more. Now that the baby is one I feel like maybe I"ll volunteer a couple of evenings or something.

Right now I just need to get through Christmas!!
post #137 of 284
waitingtobemommy- I can't say enough that I am so sad you have to go through this with your mom right now. I agree with smee, call your doctor and make noise until someone listens. How could she cancel your appointment? Unless she lied and said she was you, they should not have cancelled it for her. Please call the office and let them know what she's up to, and settle on a security question so if you do have to cancel, they will know it's you.

IRT whatever you blurted out- I get so angry over this. I don't like to say that having ADD makes us broken, but many times I have wished I could say, 'hey listen, I'm not going to be able to meet that standard, so deal with it!'. I mean, if we could only use one of our arms effectively 50% of the time, we'd get a statement of disablity- but no, it's only our BRAINS, so it can't be seen, and we're out of luck.

cody'smama- I am sorry you are so depressed. It's the issue that eclipses everything else for me right now too. Our ds's are about the same age, and Henry (DS1) we just got some things figured out for, but its been a long battle for him too. I'm just trying to say you are not alone, and I think I understand where you're at right now. Your whole post is pretty much me.

AAM- OK, so Last week I had my appointment. She said I needed immediate chemical assistance. So I've been on Zoloft since Thursday. I wish I could say I'm all but really I'm just Whatever.

No, it HAS taken the edge off. I feel clearer-headed, and I can think when I sit down to read my class books or study or write. I am not as irritable with the kids. In a week I will be premenstrual, and we'll see if it helps with that- it'll be the 'acid test'.

What hasn't changed is the fact that I still cannot deal with my world. I really would like to try an ADD med after she's satisfied w/the zoloft.

That's about it...I'll be seeing her twice a month.
post #138 of 284
heidi--I'm SO glad for you...I mean I know it's not perfect yet, but it must at least be a good feeling to have your saner self self back at least a little. I know it's a really bad spiral for me when I'm irritable with ds.....it fuels a lot of negative self defeating thoughts that make me more cranky and so on and so forth. So I'm glad you've got that part resolved.

As far as my mom, she is very manipulative. She is so manipulative in fact that she manipulates herself into thinking she's not manipulative. She is always doing things that put her at the center of attention, or that put me at the center of attention (in a negative way, usually) that will involve her "rescuing" me. Happily the office called today and I was able to get in tomorrow at noon sicne someone canceled.

I am trying really hard to disengage from my parents (and I have my fingers crossed on moving sometime soon) but since I don't have insurance and they do, this particular doc is willing to work with me on payment/free samples because she has seen my parents for 3 years now and likes our family. The trade off is that my mom is privy to all my business as a result.

Cancelling an appt is nothing for my mom.... she is VERY convincing and could sell snow to an Eskimo if it suits her purposes.....she once tracked me down all the way in the Dominican Republic, another time in TX, another time in a DV safe house. Every single person who gave her information in those situations had been explicitly told that she would try to find me, and not to give out my information, but she was able to get past all of them. She also has literature pertaining to getting your adult child committed to a mental institution, or getting "custody" of an adult child who is too mentally unstable to care for themself, and of course then you get to keep the grandchild all to yourself.

So yeah, I'm scared to be here, but I need the medication before I try to make anohter move. Because if I do move and I keep a messy house, or I show up late to work, or do anything that isn't "model parenting," and my mom calls CPS on me.....I don't even want to think about it. And she WILL know. She knows everything. I don't know how, bu she does.
post #139 of 284
waitingtobemommy- your mommy is a totally toxic person! anyone would be crazy and overwhelmed trying to keep ahead of all that! I have no idea how it feels but hugs anyway, and I hope you can get away from her! I'm glad you got an appointment.

and yeah, it's nice to feel a little saner!
post #140 of 284

Hi guys! So yeah, i dissapeared. (can't spell that word...) With the "new" (not so new anymore, lol) baby I couldn't keep up. I just kinda stopped coming to MDC at all and have been only checking facebook and my email for a while. I'm actually being more productive with a baby than I was while pregnant, she keeps me on my feet by grumping any time I'm on the computer, lol. I've been trying flylady again....I'm still on day 10 after about 6 weeks. Trying to take it real slow so I don't get overwhelmed but noew I'm kinda stuck cuz i feel like I can't add anything else until I have the basic routine down every day, but i can't have it down every day cuz it all depends on when the baby wakes up and if she naps...which changes from day to day. yeeeah...so anyways I'm gonna try to read back a little and see what you all are doing. Just wanted to say hi!
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