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ADD Support Thread *THREE* - Page 13

post #241 of 284
Oh ladies, I am NOT doing well today. DP and I got in an argument this am (happening a lot lately) so I finally said, I need to leave. I am at a local diner having some greasy food and using the free wifi. I just feel so overwhelmed and so lost. I feel so irritable lately and I just can't snap out of it. My older ds is driving me crazy, I am certain that he also has ADD, he is SO spacey and you have to tell him something at least five times before he'll even respond. I have to count to three all the time because he just can't listen! Add that to my impatience, well, frankly, it's not a pretty scene. And DP just doesn't get it. I don't know how to make him get it. I guess we really need counseling which we've been talking about for years, but I know it's time to really do and I'm sure I'm just going to put it off like I always do.

AND I had a food allergy test done for ds and he has senstivities to like, everything. Gluten, eggs, dairy, coconut, peanuts....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH wth am I supposed to feed the kid?

I am so done and over life right now. I just want to give up. I have an appt with my counselor on Thursday and until now I have not wanted to do meds, but I think I'm ready. Ds2 is one, still nursing, but something has to change. I am so burned out. I need like a drastic change, and I know this is a hallmark trait of adders but I so need some adventure or craziness in my life. It is so boring that I think I am trying to create drama. Plus the preschool auction that I was so stressed about is over so now I have no big stress and I am so unfocused.

Even if I don't do stimulants, do you think maybe an anti-depressant would help? I've really been trying to go the natural route, supplements, fish oil and the like, but I have a very hard time remembering to take them. Yes, they sit in front of me every morning, but I forget at least every other day.


URgh. I just want to run away, which I used to do all the time when I didn't have kids. But now, I can't and it is suffocating. I know I need to get out more and I am going to start volunteering at the library one night a week. Plus there is a mom's night out this week with some local ap mamas so I'll do that. But I don't think it's going to be enough.

And one more thing...DP and I just don't get along. I love the guy, he is my best friend, but we have totally different senses of humor, interests, you name it, we are on totally different wavelengths most of the time. It is so frustrating. It's like, we've grown in different directions and I don't know what to do about it. Not to mention, I have NO libido whatsoever. I've been meaning to get in and get my hormones/thyroid checked to see if maybe there is a physical reason, but you guessed it. I keep putting it off. One more frown for good measure.

Sorry about the novel, but I just needed to vent and this seemed like a place where I might be understood. Hoping you all are having a better day than I am. I'm not proofreading this so hope it makes sense!

Oh, I thought of something else I wanted to run past you all. I am feeling so guilty for not providing my kids with the best of childhoods. I mean, they have to deal with a yelling, cranky momma on a daily basis and I just wonder how I am screwing them up. How do I get past not being a better parent? I am doing the best I can and I just feel like it's not good enough.
post #242 of 284
Oh my goodness Cody'smomma, you've got a lot on your mind.

Nursing and meds: there are antidepressants one can take while nursing. But maybe you're ready to wean anyway.

Stirring up drama because you're bored: I get this. And yes, you're probably experiencing something like post Holiday let down.

Anti-depressant vs stimulant: You have a four y.o. and a one y.o. I think chances are good that you're depressed. And depression in moms often times takes the form of intense irritation, anger and absentmindedness.

I think it's possible that you forget to take the supplements because you don't feel any concrete benefit. Yes, they're definitely helping you, but not the way you're hoping.

You and your dh are in the thick of it right now, this is the hardest part.

More later.

--------

Edited to add, the time when our kids were this age was most difficult for dh and me. I could have gone the rest of my life without having sex. I was ticked at dh all the time. And a lot of mommas have described similar experiences. We did get through it, though. The kids got bigger, I found an effective anti-depressant. It was hard. It still is hard sometimes, but life is much, much better now. My kids are 15 and almost 11 y.o., by the way.

Good luck at your appointment. I hope you get some good help.
post #243 of 284
I just posted an insanely long post over in toddlers about my ds. My house is a total mess. We are moving on Thursday. I'm not working anymore (well except for odd jobs) and I STILL can't keep it clean. I just don't get it. Dp asks me wat I do all day and I'm like, "uh......" we have no internet and no tv, and half the time he takes the car. So why can I not manage to clean the house and cook something besides pb & j for dinner?????

Is it an ADD thing, or is it just me, that I'm so sensitive to everything I'm told? He says "are you going to wash the dishes, babe?" and I feel so guilty because I should ahve gotten them done forever ago and start thinking "see, I suck at keeping house" etc etc and snap at him for nagging me, which starts a fight, which makes me cry, which makes him more frustrated, and the dishes don't even get washed. sigh. and I'm starting to think my 2 year old has ADHD. Seriously. He has been getting worse for a couple months but yesterday and today were the icing on the cake. I think I mopped the same floor like 5 times yesterday, just doing damage control. And that was without letting him out of my sight, except to pee.

I really think I might lose my mind when I have 2 children (which could be anytime now.) I can't decide which one to keep so maybe I'll leave them both with their dad and put myself up for adoption instead. .
post #244 of 284
waiting2bmommy and cody'smamma- just HUGE HUGE HUGE

All I can say to both of you is You are NOT alone. I am or have experienced almost everything you two are going through, so vent away.

Specifically- totally understand the-

*not enough to do/creating drama thing
*the not cleaning the house even though I'm there 24/7 thing
*the terrified my kid has this crap too thing
*the no interest in sex thing

The omega threes I notice a huge improvement on. Maybe if you made it more complicated/involved you could remember to take them? Like this- draw a chart on a peice of paper, and mark off hours. Take the supplements then set a timer and record the results every so often. Maybe if it was more stressful it'd be more interesting? IYKWIM.

Every time I think The supplements aren't making any difference- I forget to take them, and then I wonder why I feel cruddy again.


AAM- Dh is losing his job. He hasn't connected up with a counsellor yet. He has 2 weeks, and we can keep the insurance through the end of April.

sigh...
post #245 of 284
Thread Starter 
to everyone! It all seems to go in cycles, doesn't it? We're all ok and feeling ok and quiet for a while, then BANG. We're back here.

I don't have lots of crazy stuff going on, but being 36w pregnant is enough at this point. I'm freaking out about PPD and being able to afford placenta encapsulation (can I afford NOT to??), which is going to be about $250 through a local doula.

DH is typically unrecognizing of the fact that I'm so pregnant, and I maintain that he's going to be totally floored when our MWs show up on Wednesday for our home visit and bring the pool and all the supplies.

So yeah, playing the waiting game. And I'm not so good at it.

all around.
post #246 of 284


sigh... Oh, smee- if you need company around B-day... let me know.
post #247 of 284
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post


sigh... Oh, smee- if you need company around B-day... let me know.
B-day as in birthing day?
post #248 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post
B-day as in birthing day?
post #249 of 284
Thread Starter 
You know, that may be a great idea! DH has been banished to Toby duty for the sake of our marriage (he's the worst labor partner EVER ), and though I have potentially 2 MWs and an assistant coming, it might be nice to have someone who's BTDT, especially if I'm looking at another long labor.

I may take you up on the offer. Let's work out some details.
post #250 of 284
I'm not here much, but smee, if you overnight your placenta to me, I'll do it for you. I did mine and that helps my mood as much as all the other supplements I take.

I don't do it fancy. I had mine in the fridge a week, sliced it and dehydrated it in Pookel's dehydrator, stuck it in my dry Vitamix container for (and left it on the counter for 7 months :doh) and ground it up in there. I do have an encapsulator. I'd just charge for cost of capsules and getting it here. Capsules were $5 and shipping priority FRE or small FRB would be $4.80, and um, that would be all.
post #251 of 284
Hey gals...it's so nice having this thread to come back to where I know people will understand.

heidi - are you guys going to be ok? How is your dh? My dp had to take two mandatory days off (not paid) last week. And two more this week. Work is just so slow right now (electrician). But it will definitely pick up. And the funny thing is I actually got a little excited when he told me. The reason? I was excited that I now had something to stress about. Isn't that so silly? Only you guys would understand that. I thought, oh ok, now I have a great reason to be super frugal and obsessive about it. It's so silly, I know.

So on dps days off last week we were gone all day Friday, and then Saturday we went to the mountains to stay at a friend's cabin (read LODGE). Then Sunday we went straight to the city to another friend's for brunch. It was so nice to be gone and on the move. It made me in a really good mood. I had no internet so it was refreshing. It made me really want to wander again. I used to do that before kids. Life getting stale? Up and move. Bored? Take off. Now I really want to finish fixing up our house so that at least if we want to try and sell, we can.

At my counseling appt last week we determined that I really need a BIG CHANGE. And I'm not talking volunteering at the library once a week change. I'm thinking huge. Gonna chop my hair, look for a job change. I just feel so stale right now.

I guess that is one good thing about ADD, life is certainly never boring! We gotta change it up so we don't get bored. I'm thinking about taking an anti-depressant. I've been petrified to ever do that, but I go through these depressive periods and I am so tired of it. I just want to feel generally happy. Anyone had success on anything? I am still nursing.

sme - happy birthing to you, that is such and exciting time!

Maggirayne - I still have my placenta in the freezer from, oh, December 08! I'm thinking that's not good. I'll probably just bury it under a tree in the yard or something.

Hope everyone is doing well today. Think I'll make an appt to cut my hair...
post #252 of 284
So cody'smomma theoretically I could just stick the placenta in the freezer until I get the money to get it encapsulated? We're moving on the 1st and rent is due on the 5th and we don't even have THAT covered, so encapsulating the placenta at the time of birth is not very high up on the must do list. But I really, really want to do it. I am pretty much willing to do whatever if it will keep me sort of sane after the baby is born.

The thing that is frustrating me, as bizarre as THIS is going to sound, is not the lack of money. It's the fact that we have a lack of money while I am like 38 weeks pregnant and no one will pay me to do anything about it which means all I can do is sit around and be grumpy. I don't mind stress at all because it always gives me a huge jumpstart on being super productive. But I'm totally helpless right now and it is driving me crazy. The last two days I think I have started to cry like 5 times. Dp is at the point where he just rolls his eyes now, when I get all teary. Which makes me cry harder. This is all just SO FUN. :/
post #253 of 284
That's what I've heard. My friend did that.

Oh mamas I just got some terrible news...DP just got laid off!!


I mean, I guess I knew in the back of mind that it was possible but I never thought it would happen. He worked so hard to move up in his company. But there is just no work right now. Maybe they'll need him later on in the summer, I'm not sure. How scary!! I guess now we're right there along with millions of other Americans.

So now, I guess my need for wanting a big change has been fulfilled. Be careful what you wish for, eh? I suppose the fact that I was thinking about getting a job is a good thing now. Amazing how life works that way...
post #254 of 284
oh man, I'm so sorry to hear that. Maybe your big change will be moving to an area where his skills are more needed right now? That could be a positive thing I guess. Try not to stress too much about it (I know that's way easier said than done.)
post #255 of 284
s- cody'smomma I am so sorry. We're in the same boat- DH's job is over at the end of next week. meh...

waiting2bmommy- I know how it feels to be stuck. Mine really grates on me, because its not a temporary condition or anything like that, its ME. I have no education, no skills. I feel like a huge weight tied around my DH's neck.

Toward contributing something- I am going to try my darndest to cook up some WAH opportunities for myself. Here's my shortlist...

freelance writing
making stuff to sell- mostly wooly/handwork stuff.

The key to freelancing will be to find the openings to get my name in. The key to the making stuff is finding time to make it. I have a placethat is willing to sell some of my stuff- now I just need some stuff to sell.

TBH- I feel cruddy about it, b/c I set aside my studies and some more formal ministry jobs at church b/c my 'menfolk' really need me right now. I might be getting a handle on this whole housekeeping gig, but I don't know how long that'll last if I have to go off merds b/c of no longer having insurance.

all I can do is try.
post #256 of 284
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by heidirk View Post
s- cody'smomma I am so sorry. We're in the same boat- DH's job is over at the end of next week. meh...

waiting2bmommy- I know how it feels to be stuck. Mine really grates on me, because its not a temporary condition or anything like that, its ME. I have no education, no skills. I feel like a huge weight tied around my DH's neck.

Toward contributing something- I am going to try my darndest to cook up some WAH opportunities for myself. Here's my shortlist...

freelance writing
making stuff to sell- mostly wooly/handwork stuff.

The key to freelancing will be to find the openings to get my name in. The key to the making stuff is finding time to make it. I have a placethat is willing to sell some of my stuff- now I just need some stuff to sell.

TBH- I feel cruddy about it, b/c I set aside my studies and some more formal ministry jobs at church b/c my 'menfolk' really need me right now. I might be getting a handle on this whole housekeeping gig, but I don't know how long that'll last if I have to go off merds b/c of no longer having insurance.

all I can do is try.


Can you apply for temp assistance through chip or something?? PA has AWESOME state services for people without insurance.
post #257 of 284
Quote:
Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post


Can you apply for temp assistance through chip or something?? PA has AWESOME state services for people without insurance.
Yeah, I'm going to look into some things this week.

cLeaning today! Her'e smy list-

vacuum
do dishes
cook/color eggs. ok- so its past Easter...
meal plan/grocery list
knit
post #258 of 284
hey! How is everyone?
post #259 of 284
um, well, I babysat twin 2 year olds today and so you can imagine what my house looks like. I'm 4 days from my due date and pretty slow at chores right about now. I promised SO a lasagna and did actually make it except that I forgot to boil the noodles first. I haven't decided yet whether to laugh at myself or go cry.
post #260 of 284
how'd the lasagne turn out? Sometimes its ok if you don't cook the noodles...

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