supporting new mamas-to-be

[mama k nj]

I feel like such a lactivist today. I emailed my step SIL and asked her if she planned on BFing and offered my assistance if she needs any recommendations on books or anything.
I am generally too worried about offending someone that I barely know to even mention it, but I realized that by going out on a limb I might really help someone.

I did the same for my new SIL a couple months ago and that got my courage up. I just mentioned it and she wrote back with how she really wanted to this time but wasn't successful with her first son (from a previous relationship). I really didn't want to offend and told her so, but I was so glad I could offer some info. I even sent her a book to read and she was excited about it.

Anyway, I am realizing that most mamas at least start out with the intention of "giving it a try" but fall victim to one of the many stumbling blocks that our culture throws up. If it is a close friend, I will give a mama basket at the shower that includes BFing supplies and a book, but I am just now getting a little bolder with those I don't know as well.

Are there any ways you encourage BFing for new moms?

not sure if this is the right forum, but anyway...

[momz3]

I'm going to breastfeed, and although I'm not a "new" mom, this is my first breastfed baby, I need all the support I can get.

From my moms side of the family...they are not that supportive. They are VERY mainstream. Everything from spanking to formula to CIO.

My dads side are very old fashioned/back to basics (a VERY good thing to me, imo) and I have gotten ALOT of support from my cousins (who breastfed) and Aunt (his sister) who breastfed all of her kids.

Also, I was shopping in Target and looked at some pumps and a lady was very encouraging. She said I will be very glad to have breastfed my baby and it is so worth any obstacles that I may run into.

I think if more people POSITIVELY supported moms, more would breastfeed. I did not receive any support with my first 2 children, no one spoke to me about it. I did receive tons of info on the latest formulas, as well as samples, coupons, etc. NOTHING on breastfeeding, the benefits and all...:

Also, I have friends who tell me how hard it is and how I will change my mind just because they gave up after a week. Yes! A WEEK! Or "What if you run out of milk?" So yea....not very encouraging!

[mama k nj]

That's a shame! Glad you have some supportive family at least. And you are on here so that helps too.
Yeah, it seems like you only hear the negative stories when you are expecting. It IS hard the first few weeks for most moms, but I think that knowing what to expect and having a plan about how to handle it is essential. I think being a first time mom is such a culture shock to begin with. I know it was for me!
Everyone is so bold with their bottle and formula recommendations so I guess I shouldn't be too shy to recommend a pump or a nursing bra, right?

[momz3]

Another thing was that I was extremely young. Everything the doctor told me (or my mother, whom I was living with at the time as I was single), I went with instead of doing research on my own. So, the older I got, the wiser I got. I question everything. Even my pediatricians. LOL. I believe age is a BIG factor. I know alot of moms who were very young (<21) and the thought of breastfeeding, was scary to them, mainly, because society has made breasts a sexual object...
its sad.

I have heard from everyone that it may be challenging so I am prepared for the challenge and understand that it may not happen right away or be easy. I am also looking for good book recommendations?

[mama k nj]

Originally Posted by momz3

I am also looking for good book recommendations?

I give So That's What Their For to moms who may be more on the fence about it. It takes a nice light hearted approach. I really like The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding though. It's a great reference as well. I read The Nursing Mother's Companion when I was expecting because it's the one my doula loaned me, but now I'd pick the Womanly Art over that one. Bestfeeding: How to Breastfeed Your Baby is the one that my midwife recommends, but I've never read through it myself.

I also did a lot of reading on line. KellyMom.com is a wonderful site. And the new BestforBabes.org has some great articles too.

I'm sure you'll do great this time!

[AFWife]

lol refer her to MDC! That's where I got most of my BFing knowledge and support. (especially early on when I ran into problems and didn't have a LC)

[evermore82]

I was a young first time mom, too, but I was lucky to have a good support system. My mom was not successful with breastfeeding even though she wanted more than anything to be--and she was absolutely determined that I would breastfeed my babies, so I was lucky in that aspect. She, however, had no idea about the mechanics of successful breastfeeding.

My mom's cousin's wife was also a huge support, even though I was not close to her at the time. Her youngest was nine months old when my first was born. She gave me nursing pads and a Boppy for my shower, and asked me if I planned on breastfeeding. I knew that I wanted to and that 'breast is best' for both mama and baby, but she really focused on the benefits that you DON'T hear about often--how breastfeeding makes things easier all around (no mixing, no washing, no crying hungry baby), the pros of bed sharing when it comes to nighttime parenting, better for the environment as well as the wallet, and the wonderful emotional connection that develops, the feeling of being able to care for and nourish your child by just being there.

I try to take that approach now with new moms--focus on the positives! I remind them of the wonders of BFing, and try to apply the aspect that may appeal to that particular mama most--whether it be postpartum weight loss, delayed menstruation, expenses, sleep, housekeeping, health, whatever. Above all else, if a new mama is apprehensive about BFing, I just remind her that people *love* to share their bad bad birth and postpartum experiences, especially with new moms, and not to put much store in those negatives.

I also love to give pretty nursing pads, a pouch or sling carrier, and the book 'So That's What They're For!' as well as several good online and local resources for true BFing support.