Does it ever get better?

[ecstaticmama24]

I couldn't decide if I should post this in the PPD forum or here. I decided this forum because these feelings have been around for what almost feels like forever.

I am having a hard time enjoying life. I'm super irritable and every time I get stressed I just wish a bolt of lightning would strike and put me out of my misery. My DH is impossible to talk to and honestly, things aren't good there. My kids fight all day long and I don't know what to do with that. And there's a whole other pile of "issues" that contribute to the way I'm feeling including the recent miscarriage of my twins. That said, I'm not sure if it's all situational or not, how do you tell? And if it is, than there's been way too many "situations" over the past 10 years.

Don't get me wrong, I have good days, but I can't remember the last time I thought, "life is good".

Any suggestions? Anyone else been there and feel better?

Thanks!

[Porcelain Interior]

It totally gets better. 100% gauranteed.

No one can tell you if you are experiencing situational or hormonal/chemical issues. It could be both, but I'll tell you that you're going through a lot. Losing twins, and the hormonal fallout of that is enough to create a situation of depression and stress with the very strongest person. When you add in DH problems and sibling problems, it's very common to find trouble coping with plain old regular life let alone enjoy it.

You could also have experienced PPD with your very first child and just continued on never healing from that. It can last years. If it's not treated or addressed it can get worse and worse.

PPD is no joke, so many people belittle it and act like it's a headache that just disappears on it's own. It's not, it can be very very serious and it can damage your quality of life.

You know in your heart that you're not yourself. I think you deserve and have every right to get some care and treatment for the way you're feeling. Talk therapy, meds whatever just please give yourself permission to get some help with it.

Life doesn't have to be a miserable thing we must endure. Cut yourself some slack with your DH and your kids. Now is not the time to nitpick yourself about how good of a mother or wife you are. Now is the time to put your foot down and say "I'm not ok, and I'm going to do something about it."

[greengirl_]

First of all, to you.

Yes, it does get better! Whether your feelings are situational or chemical/hormonal doesn't matter, it still hurts, I know. It's really hard to put into words what you have said, and admit that something is not right. As pp said, this is a perfect opportunity to do something for yourself. You WILL work through this with time, and you can get the help you need.

Good luck to you~

[ecstaticmama24]

Thanks for the replies ladies.

I suppose it could be PPD too, I mean I have been pregnant and had 4 children and the recent loss all in the past 10 years.

[Mearaina]

Yes, it will get better. But sometimes it can take years, and counseling and sometimes even meds. I have been on the depression/anxiety merry go round since my teens, and after my m/c I fell into a horrendous spell that lasted about 18 months. I'm not even going to go into the rest of it. But I wanted to say that you are going through a lot right now. It is important to try to get help of some sort as soon as you can. As a previous poster said, this is serious business. Life should not be one endless hour of emotional agony rolled into the next, but that is what depression can do. Also you are greiving the very real loss of two babies, and that is hard to do. Take all the time you need and have faith that every day will not be like this. Please feel free to pm me if you need to talk.