Supernanny convinced a nursing mama she was wrong :(

[Ldavis24]

I was just watching an episode of supernanny with a family with 3 children the youngest of which was a 17 month little girl. The mom was bfing and they were still co-sleeping with the baby and as soon as Nanny Joe stormed in she immediately said it was shocking that the mother was still bfing and she needed to stop so the baby could be "independent". She convinced this woman she was basically crazy for bfing this baby and got her to wean her to a cup of cow milk immediately. It was horrible. I was so mad at the show just for the way the nanny was behaving about this mother bfing her still very young child. Like she was doing harm to this little girl. She also made the baby go to a crib so the parents could stretch out. Basically she convinced this woman that she was totally wrong although I suspect this woman hadn't put a ton of thought into her decisions to bf and co-sleep, more like they just happened and she didn't realize how good it was for baby...

So not having ever done anything lactivistish *ok so I made up a word* I was wondering if I was going to write a letter to the show what would leave the most impact. I tend to be quite long winded when writing and don't want it to just get tossed aside although that could still very well happen!

[dianakaye]

I think you'll do a great job writing! Just tell them that they're way off base about breastfeeding and co-sleeping and provide some information about how it benefits the child.

I avoid Supernanny and Nanny 911 because my heart constantly gets broken watching them make kids CIO essentially. I think they do some good- I've seen them really get to the heart of what's wrong in the parent-child relationship in some families, but in general it just gets me mad and sad.

[SubliminalDarkness]

Obviously I disagree with that advice.
However.
I've seen the episode, too, and at the end, the mom was glad it all happened. She said she'd had enough of it, and she(and the rest of the family) were much happier with the new changes.
So it leaves me a little torn. Maybe Nanny Jo saw that the mom was tired of it all and so she went with that?

[Ldavis24]

Originally Posted by SubliminalDarkness

Obviously I disagree with that advice.
However.
I've seen the episode, too, and at the end, the mom was glad it all happened. She said she'd had enough of it, and she(and the rest of the family) were much happier with the new changes.
So it leaves me a little torn. Maybe Nanny Jo saw that the mom was tired of it all and so she went with that?

That is kinda how I felt. The mom did seem really glad about it didn't she? But I guess what made me really mad was the fact that Nanny Jo acted like it was a bad thing when it is the complete opposite. I also was furious when she did the cry it out thing with the baby. I still want to write a letter maybe some time she will get that opportunity again and if the mom wants to wean fine but don't act like she is harming the baby because she is still bfing at 17 months, kwim? It's each mother's choice but I was thinking what if some mom out there just stopped nursing her baby because she is a big fan of nanny Jo and saw that epside...

[Pepper44]

I saw that episode when it was new. It made me so sad. Sometimes I watch that show when I'm bored at night and it's on, but it makes me so upset my DH always forces me to turn it off.

I'm not sure what good it would do to write a letter at this point, wasn't that episode first aired several years ago?

[SubliminalDarkness]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24

That is kinda how I felt. The mom did seem really glad about it didn't she? But I guess what made me really mad was the fact that Nanny Jo acted like it was a bad thing when it is the complete opposite. I also was furious when she did the cry it out thing with the baby. I still want to write a letter maybe some time she will get that opportunity again and if the mom wants to wean fine but don't act like she is harming the baby because she is still bfing at 17 months, kwim? It's each mother's choice but I was thinking what if some mom out there just stopped nursing her baby because she is a big fan of nanny Jo and saw that epside...

I do agree with this. What the mom was doing was not harmful to the child.
But, if she was resentful or miserable or if the rest of the family truly was suffering for it, and the mom wanted to move on, than ok.

[Minarai]

[rant]
I have come to hate Supernanny and Nanny 911 (more) since I came here.
Both shows advocate CIO and excessive time-outs. (Don't try to rebut this; I explicitly remember an episode where two kids were forced to give up their pacifiers cold turkey and they cried through the night.) They're just as brutal as so-called spanking advocates, even though they claim not to advocate physical punishment.
[/rant]
I think what Jo did in this circumstance took the cake. She obviously doesn't know (or doesn't care) that extended breastfeeding helps with maintaining a child's immune system. ABC and Style Network are going to be getting an earful from us.

[Epona]

Originally Posted by Ldavis24

I was just watching an episode of supernanny with a family with 3 children the youngest of which was a 17 month little girl. The mom was bfing and they were still co-sleeping with the baby and as soon as Nanny Joe stormed in she immediately said it was shocking that the mother was still bfing and she needed to stop so the baby could be "independent". She convinced this woman she was basically crazy for bfing this baby and got her to wean her to a cup of cow milk immediately. It was horrible. I was so mad at the show just for the way the nanny was behaving about this mother bfing her still very young child. Like she was doing harm to this little girl. She also made the baby go to a crib so the parents could stretch out.

[kriket]

she (the nanny) could have addressed it as "I can see nursing is taxing your family, and draining you" instead of "what are you doing still nursing? She is too old"

[1littlebit]

when i first saw it i was peeved too, it also sort of annoys me when they go all anti co sleeping. however, these families asked to be on this show b/c their family situation was so out of control. if they hadn't wanted things to change they wouldn't have taken the time to ask for help.

i think extended bfing and co sleeping are great but if my kids were out of control b/c they were so exhausted from lack of sleep then i would consider that co sleeping was no longer working for our family and make a different arrangement. if continuing to BF my toddler was stressful and overwhelming enough that i was not able to meet the needs of myself or my family i would consider weaning.

my parenting ideals are not more important to my parenting realties. if i were desperate enough to call a TV nanny for help i would absolutely listen to her.

[1littlebit]

Originally Posted by kriket

she (the nanny) could have addressed it as "I can see nursing is taxing your family, and draining you" instead of "what are you doing still nursing? She is too old"

this i agree with. she was way over the top. but maybe the mom felt too guilty to wean and needed the more extreme approach to not hate herself for it. she seemed much happier at the end and no one should be wracked with guilt for doing what is best for their family.

[mamabadger]

Supporting the mum's wish to wean is fine, if she was truly sick of it all.
Two thing bother me, though.
First, that the tv nannies seem obsessed with keeping children away from their parents as much as possible, especially at night; and with arbitrary age rules: this child is too old to nurse, too old for a pacifier, too old to be sleeping in the parents' room. I feel sure any mother would have been advised to wean her 17 month old, no matter how the mother felt about it.
Second, I doubt the same approach would be taken if the mum was sick and tired of changing diapers, for example, or getting up to fix the children breakfast. The nanny would never have said "It is stressing you out. Just quit!" about anything but breastfeeding.

[annettemarie]

I'm going to move this to Television since it seems less about Lactivism and more about discussing the tv show

[deny_zoo29]

I watched that episode and I think it was right in that case. She didn't push her to quit breastfeeding...she actually told the mom whether you want to continue or not it's your decision and I will help your family with either decision, just let me know so I know what direction to take this. ANd the mom said she was happy to be done and ready for it for awhile but she hadn't know exaclty how to start the weaning process. I believe her older child was a teen and it had been quite awhile since she'd weaned (the oldest boy was her nephew). And mom was happier, baby was happier, and the whole family seemed to work better together by the end of the episode.

[holyhelianthus]

Originally Posted by 1littlebit

my parenting ideals are not more important to my parenting realties. if i were desperate enough to call a TV nanny for help i would absolutely listen to her.

Amen!