When the natural consequence is dangerous

[eepster]

What does one do when the natural consequence of a certain behavior is a possible trip to the ER, and the logical consequences are impractical.

DS (3 yo) is climbing along the outside of our staircase, and jumping do to land in an armchair. Not the side with steps, the other side that is open to the livingroom, and is basically a wall with the decorative wood work of the banister.

What can I do to discourage this short of locking DS in his room permanently, before we end up at the ER.

[Thalia the Muse]

Hmmm, maybe the logical consequence is that he is not allowed to be unsupervised in that part of the house for a little while? I'm guessing he's already had the Big Talk about how dangerous and forbidden this activity is, and it's just too fun and exciting to resist (it DOES sound fun! And terrifying for his parents!).

[ChetMC]

Stair Jumping

If I understand the situation that you're describing correctly, I actually would allow my child to do this (our kids have climbed up the outside of stair railings before and "dropped" onto a sofa at a friend's house for example). They stand and walk along the back of the couch. We do let them play on the straight stairs (in exchange for them not playing on the open back spiral stairs that have no railing). I acknowledge that with four kids we may find ourselves at the emergency room at some point, but I don't think that's the end of the world.

However, all of our kids have been pretty aware of their bodies and ready to ask for help when they find themselves outside of their comfort zone. I know that there are kids out there with absolutely no self-preservation instinct at all. That's a tougher situation if it's what your facing with your DS.

My first thought would be to make the behaviour impossible. Can you move the arm chair? Somehow render the railing unclimbable until he outgrows this?

[sapphire_chan]

:
Move the chair or block the access.

Or get a thriftstore chair you don't care about, and let him have at it.

Or, better yet, a futon mattress, which would be a bigger target and non-bouncy so less risk of flying someplace hard after landing.

And just to reassure you, my little brother did that sort of thing all the time. He's never broken a bone and the one time he went to the ER he was able to drive himself there.

[CatherineEL]

I sometimes allow my toddler son to do things that might have dangerous consequences. I'm trying more to develop in him a sense of making his own best decisions. Sometimes I'll tell him, "You can do that, but if you fall, you might (bump your head, bang your leg....), and that would hurt very much."

I try to convey to him (verbally and non-verbally) my honest concern and the danger involved. He usually makes the safe choice, or he tries something and sees that he gets into something that might hurt, and he stops. Hopefully, I feel, if we give him a little room to make his own decisions, he will learn to make the smart choices when we're not around.

[One_Girl]

Perhaps he still needs to hold your hand while going down the stairs until he is able to do it safely. At three, he still needs a lot of reminders and redirection. If it is possible to move the chair out of the way you should consider doing that also.

[Cavy]

Originally Posted by eepster

What does one do when the natural consequence of a certain behavior is a possible trip to the ER, and the logical consequences are impractical.

"Sorry love, I can't let you do that. You'll get hurt too easily."
Make it impossible for them to do it. And stand back to withstand the tantrum. Not fun, but all in a day's work as a parent.

I do try as much as possible to let them take risks, for the matter, I get told off by other parents sometimes for letting them take risks (where's the blush emoticon when I need it?). But sometimes you JUST CAN'T let them do something. .