How to respond to criticism of comfort nursing

[viviensmama]

Lately my mother has been asking me a lot about how much my daughter comfort nursing. She's still a newborn so she nurses basically all day long, which doesn't bother me at all. My mom has been asking about when Vivvie wants to nurse when I know she isn't hungry, just looking for some mama comfort. The question is this. She asks if I comfort nurse the baby will she learn to equate food with comfort and then become an overeater later in life. My mom is not being snarky, genuinely interested in knowing the answer to this. I told her I've read studies that show that breastfed babies are less likely to be obese as children/adults but I'm not sure how to respond to the actual question. Any ideas?

[woodchick]

I tend to be obtuse about questions like this sometimes. I'm sure my first answer would be "I have no idea when she's nursing for milk and nursing for comfort." It would probably be true since I don't really pay attention. If she 'asks' to nurse, I nurse her. It is not until later that it even occurs to me that there might have been anything implied by the question.

As for the other issues, breastmilk does get digested faster than formula, so bf babies really do need to eat more often. I have read those studies that breastfeeding on demand leads to fewer cases of obesity, but I don't know where to find them. I'm not much help, huh? Maybe kellymom.com?

[PatioGardener]

I like to explain that by having access to food whenever and where ever, baby actually has no need at all to over eat, or worry about access to the next meal and 'stock up' whenever possible. She feels secure and loved and nourished all the time, and hopefully will take those secure feelings with her as she grows.

ps I have no studies that show this - it just makes sense to me.

[ASusan]

You could add that some babies have a biological need to suck more. Non-nutritive sucking it is called. You call it comfort nursing, but developmental psychologists and nurses call it non-nutritive sucking. You use the breast; other parents pop in a pacifier. There is a wide range of what is normal, but most infants need more sucking than just for feeding.

[jojoboy]

Try here:

http://www.llli.org/cbi/bibobesity.html

Honestly, I don't know a single person who doesn't use food as comfort in one way or another. I mean, I'm a person who can safely be categorized as "beanpole", and I eat for comfort sometimes. The problem is OVEREATING for any reason, and BF babies don't do that. They nurse to satisy their hunger, and then can adjust their suck to comfort nurse and not be taking in tons of extra milk. At that point, when they are nursing for comfort, they aren't really eating in significant quantities. And since babies adjust their suck depending on whether they want comfort or food, I'd say they are getting a good start at recognizing when they need food vs when they need comfort.

[katmann]

I think a great way to develop eating disorders in a child would be to take away it's main source of sustenance for no apparent reason several times a day. I mean, how could you tell if your baby wanted to suck for comfort or for food? I seriously doubt your mother would be able to come up with any reliable data supporting her hypothesis. It can't possibly hurt a baby to let it suckle whenever it wants. I just can't imagine anything detrimental coming from that.

And it will change - my ds was like that early on, and now he's 8 months, and the comfort sucking only happens when I'm putting him down, or when his teeth are really bothering him.

[LadyCatherine185]

you could just tell her that she has a biological need to suck, and that is to build your milk supply. The more she nurses=the more milk you make. If you tried to discourage nursing, your supply would drop and possibly vanish this early.

it is so hard when you aren't getting support from those closest to you.

[lillacfaerie]

Ask your mother why people buy pacifiers. You could let baby suck on you or a rubber/latex thing.
I get a lot of critizism for over nursing my baby. She's 25 lbs ebf and 8months. She doesn't use a paci or her thumb. She uses me for all her sucking needs. To anyone who criticizes my child's eating habits, I usually say something snotty like "I'm sure she'll be obese like her mother and father"
me-5'7" 110 lbs
dh 6'4" 170 lbs

[ShwarmaQueen]

"Pacifiers were invented because moms couldn't provide their babies with all the time in the world to suckle. I have the time and so I'll let her suckle when she wants."

[melamama]

My response would be simple (especially since this is about a baby) and just focus on the fact that babies stomachs are small and they do need to nurse throughout the day.

If you want to get into the comfort side of it I would focus on the fact that you are reinforcing the grounding/comforting fact of what mother is--not what milk is.

[Ruthla]

Also remember (and remind her) that babies nurse differently when they're "comfort sucking" than when they're "hungry." They nurse in a way that doesn't take much milk from the breast when they only want comfort.

By nursing her on cue, you're allowing her to regulate her own food intake. She eats when she's hungry and stops eating (and switches to comfort sucking) when she's full, and switches back to "food nursing" when she's hungry again.

Babies can't do that with bottles. If they suck on the bottle nipple, milk comes out whether they want it or not. The adult needs to figure out whether the baby needs a bottle or a pacifier, and they may not always guess right, or switch from one to the other as efficiently as a nursing baby can switch suckling styles.

[AFWife]

Originally Posted by ASusan

You could add that some babies have a biological need to suck more. Non-nutritive sucking it is called. You call it comfort nursing, but developmental psychologists and nurses call it non-nutritive sucking. You use the breast; other parents pop in a pacifier. There is a wide range of what is normal, but most infants need more sucking than just for feeding.

Originally Posted by LadyCatherine185

you could just tell her that she has a biological need to suck, and that is to build your milk supply. The more she nurses=the more milk you make. If you tried to discourage nursing, your supply would drop and possibly vanish this early.

it is so hard when you aren't getting support from those closest to you.

These!


When DS was first born we did the same thing. MIL would say "he's just using you as a pacifier" and I'd reply that it was okay and she'd say "no, it's not!" But you know what? As he got older he got over it to some extent. Plus, since it's a comforting thing it comes in handy. Really tired? Nurse. Sick? Nurse. Upset? Nurse. Hurt? Nurse. I'm not running around crazy because my baby won't stop crying after falling out of his swing or something. Hold him close for a bit and pop some boob in his mouth and he forgets why he's upset. It's quite useful...

Plus, I have an awesome supply!

[viviensmama]

Thanks so much ladies! These are some really great ideas. Several mentioned things I wanted to say but wasn't quite sure how to articulate. I'm trying to be sensitive in my answer to my mom because I feel the motivation behind the question wasn't criticism of breastfeeding, but concern for her grandbaby. We had a ped appointment this morning and the doctor also said to mention that for a baby with reflux (which my daughter has) comfort nursing soothes the pain.