student mama support group - Page 4

[kimmysue2]

Understand about trying not to stress for exams. I had one on Tuesday and I did GREAT. The questions are some matching and some writing. I really studied for the matching since I am not as good with that. I even play a matching game and it totally helped with the exam.

I am so glad my final for the one class is just a presentation. Its not due for thee more months and we have all but rehearsals to do for it. I have sewed bean bags.

[maekati]

I'll join. I am now through with midterms, thank you very much. My spring break is almost over I got an A on my Developmental Psych exam, I have not got my Biology grade back but feel like I did awful. My daughter broke her arm the night before the big exam, when I was going to do my major cramming, but instead we spent the night in the ER. My Lit exam was postponed, thank goodness. Spring break was great I had forgotten what it was like not to be stressed out and to just hang out and enjoy my kids. It was great I am really looking forward to having a break this summer now.

[willowmama]

we're starting potty training after finals..lol.

[Greaseball]

Well I haven't gotten my grades back yet but I think I'm getting an A in history of medicine, a B in statistics and a C in biopsychology.

I have this random teacher gripe - I wish that if they were going to require all students to buy a $100 textbook they would at least READ it first! So many times, students point out to the professor that what he is saying directly contradicts what is in the book, and the prof says "Oh, really? I haven't read it." Then why recommend a book if you aren't going to read it? On what basis do you recommend it?

Another teacher told me to just "not use the book; it makes a lot of mistakes." Why did I have to buy it, then?

[june'smom]

we are lucky, we don't have to buy our textbooks. We can rent the big ones and then we have to buy a few for individual classes, but they are cheap. I have a nasty exam tomorrow and I want to call in dead. LOL. I want my spring break. I can totally relate to not remembering what it is like to just relax with dd.

Louise

[willowmama]

Occasionally my psychology instructor will tell us how things are, and then tell us how it is in the book if it's different...
and tells us to know the book definition for exams.
i love her....makes studying soooo much easier.

I've only had one annoying prof so far, and I dropped her in the first week. If I hadn't........... I'd have an ulcer by now.

[aussiemum]

June'smom

I have a lot of school left and I will drop dead long before I finish if I don't relax.

Or at least have gray hairs way before your time! I'm glad the exam went well.

And Greaseball:

Then why recommend a book if you aren't going to read it?

Because they get other free books from the publishing companies if they use 'their' text. (sorry, I know that's cynical, but it's also true)

And I have to share a piece of good news, cuz God knows I need it this Monday with Spain & that poor woman in Utah preying on my mind. My grant people are going to let me go part-time for the rest of this year & not take away any of my operating funds!!!!!! Which really takes the pressure off, for now anyway, & I don't have to worry about working from home the other two days a week- I can just hang out with my youngest (& clean house : ) & not feel like I'm letting other people down. Woohoo!!!!

[guerrillamama]

no time to write (what a shock!) but just wanted to say i'm here too!

gotta go clean the apartment in preparation of my dad and stepmom's visit - i'll be spending my spring break listening to her tell my what a pathetic excuse for a mother i am. fun!!!

and the week after that i'll be writing a huge paper! my life is just ridiculous.

[maryw]

Willowmama-
If you're looking at grad school, I would strongly, strongly, strongly advise you to try to land at a program that is kid friendly even if it's out-of-state. My program has a well-deserved reputation for being kid-friendly. We have lots of parents and kids are generally welcome and accomodated. This wasn't my ideal location, but when I was applying and interviewing (I don't know how extensive the process is for Schools of Ed) I always mentioned my child. I'm convinced that one school rejected me just because I'm a mom, but now I'm SOOO glad that I didn't end up there. You'll be dealing with the faculty (from a relatively powerless position) for a long time and they have the potential to make your life miserable and/or impossible.

[Bex80]

Hi, just checking in, I'm wasting my time away! I feel overwhelmed about being a student right now. Like mothering and being a student TOTALLY collide.

I missed class on Monday because we tore our kitchen apart in prep. for new cabinets. Well, we were so tired that I didn't study and I had a test Mon.! Well, I skipped class b/c I didn't study and then it seems now that every chance I get to study I blow it off. I don't even know if teacher will make me take the test tonight at class?! And here I am on MDC instead of studying. It's like I want to fail so I can quit worrying about failing.

I eve changed my sig to my fav. quote that gets me motivated and that hasn't helped. I have so much more school to go and I feel like I want to get done, but that i will be doing school and missing out on my two year old!

I feel CRAZY!!!

[guerrillamama]

i feel you bex80

one thing i remind myself of when i'm feeling like that is that altho school is taking me away from my kid, work (as in a paid job) would do that so much more. that's gonna happen all too soon. i don't know what your other options are but if i wasn't in school, and after i graduate, i would be and expect to be working a job that will require far more than 40 hours a week. what a blessing to be a student and have a relatively flexible schedule. remembering that helps to keep me motivated to make the best of it.

as for procrastination, oy ve, i am the queen of procrastination. my sister the phd candidate, (the former queen of procrastination, now in recovery) has this advice: commit to a manageable, realistic amount of time each day. for example i have a huge paper to write by the end of the semeseter. she says, commit to 15 minutes a day writing that paper. it doesn't sound like much, but that's not 15 minutes sitting in front of the computer, that's 15 minutes actual typing time. if you can feel like you accomplished just that every day you will feel so much better about yourself and therefore be that much more productive. i think it's good advice, tho i admit i am having trouble following it. haven't figured out how to carry a train of thought over from day to day. but i'm sure it's a skill i can master.

my big plan for next year? pick classes where attendance doesn't matter. (in law school, there are actually a lot of these.) i'm trying to figure out every way i can to cut corners academically so i can spend more time with the little monkey. i figure, whether i get A+s or B-s, the degree at the end is exactly the same. perspective, perspective.

and here i am procrastinating too!!! ok, gonna try and get that 15 minutes in now...

hang in there, mamas!

[Greaseball]

When I worked in human resources and made hiring decisions, we never looked at the grades a person got. We looked at their transcripts to make sure they had the required classes, but it's not like we said "Oh, this guy got a C+ and this one got an A-!" The interview mattered a lot more.

[Bex80]

Thanks brooklynmom and greaseball

I actually get to make up the test tomm. so I had a whole extra week to study! Which I will be cramming into this evening and tomoorow morning.

I am really going to try to use the procrastination buster brooklynmom mentioned. I tend to say-Okay, I'm going to study for two hours everyday! And it just can't be that rigid. I could say instead, that I will study at least 30 minutes at nap and when Austin goes to bed. Once I get into the text, I usually go for longer. It's just getting to that f***ing textbook! :

Well, Heath (dh) is tearing up the downstairs bathroom so I think Austin and I will go to the store and price organic foods. We are going to try to switch over here. I am grossed out by the stuff that's in our food and now I'm really going because if I type about food anymore, they are going to move this thread to a different board!

Thanks again, mamas, I'll let you know how the test goes!

Bex

[june'smom]

brooklynmom are you in law school? I am considering it for my amster's program but I am scared to death of it. I really would liek to though, if I thought it was possible.

Right now dh and I are trying to figure out where we want to live and where I should go to school. I wish it were an easy decision to move. BUt is absolutely not!!!

This is the last night of my spring break and I didn't get half of my stuff done, but it was nice and relaxed.

Hope all is well,
Louise

[guerrillamama]

yeah, law school...

not sure what to say about it, really depends on your goals and feelings about school and stuff...

me, i hate school in general so i didn't even consider getting a masters. takes too long.

scary? i remember in college i said to a prof of mine, who was also a lawyer, that "i would consider being a lawyer except i have an irrational fear of law school." he laughed and said "i don't think any fear of law school could be irrational."

it's true. at the same time, it totally is what you make of it. i was very fortunate going into law school i had a bunch of friends who are already kickass lawyers and who have a very cool analysis of the whole thing, and who gave me tons of sage advice and emotional support.

the most important advice i got:
1. your grades don't really matter, except for scholarships.
2. only go to class if you really want to.
3. make sure and have a life outside of school.
4. they're not going to actually teach you anything useful. that's what internships and clinics are for.

these 3 things are especially important because EVERY EVERY EVERY message you get in law school is the exact opposite. i can't even describe what a f**ked up intensely stressful environment it is - IF you let yourself get caught up in it. but if you can remember to keep perspective, it's not really that hard. i think mamas have an advantage in that department - since getting pregnant i have so much perspective i can barely get my homework done.

if you want to do public interest work - which, for me, is the only reason i want to be a lawyer - be sure and pick a school that has a liberal and dependable LRAP (loan repayment assistance plan). no way could i do this otherwise.

pm me if you want. good luck!

[Ravin]

Thought I'd chime in here! I'm starting to dread going back to school in the fall. DD will be 10 months old. As of right now, she gets EXTREMELY upset if I'm out of her sight for more than a few minutes.

I'm still clueless about SO many things, like how I'm going to manage to afford childcare, especially the first semester when it'll probably take a few months for my GI Bill to kick in. Not a prob w/ tuition, I can get THAT deferred, but nobody's gonna defer childcare. I MIGHT be able to swap care with a friend of mine who has 3 boys and does Mary Kaye that requires her time for a certain commitment.

DH and I have bandied about the idea of divorcing so I can qualify for "single mom" bennies to help with school. The main reason we got married when we did in the first place (rather than waiting a couple of years) was to get the "married" bennies in the military, which almost doubled my paycheck. I don't consider the legalities of marriage all that important, except for what I can get out of them. Especially when they're conferred so arbitrarily and on a whim, and not to everyone who want them.

I'm the one who suggested the binder and 3-hole punch, by the way. It's a bit late to help much now, but my great study tool for things like A&P that have a lot of info to memorize is NOTECARDS. You put small chunks of info on each one (like a definition, or a list of functions of something), then once you've written them all up you go through them and if you get it right you put it into a "discard" pile, and if you don't you put it back in the active deck, and just go through them until you've discarded them all. Then do it again if you need to. Makes it handy to study in small chunks, if you make the cards after each class from your notes, then just tote the cards and you can study whenever/wherever you want.

For me, just making the cards, in addition to taking the notes in the first place, puts at least 75% of the info into my head where it will stick long enough for the exam. THen you've got all the notecards to review for finals, too...

[Bex80]

Originally posted by Greaseball
and that another single parent received one for $30,000 a year that renews each year she is in school! If she gets married before she graduates, she loses the scholarship.

Holy Sh*t!!!!!!!

[Bex80]

Hey mamas!

I took my make-up test tonight and I think I did okay. Now we have a quiz on Wednesday on-and this is for you, greaseball -conjugating stem changing -ir verbs in the preterite tense, irregular stem changing verbs, and vocab! Score! ---NOT!!!!

In the time I spent cleaning up vomit and diarrhea (Austin got sick over the weekend) and studying for my make-up test, I didn't get to study the new material we have been learning for a week, so I am behind! (lol)

So, a little stress is a good motivator-just looking forward to taking the summer off!

Oh, we may be moving to Tennessee and I will need to start school there in the fall-does anyone know if Pell grants transfer from state to state or do I have to fill out a new FAFSA form when I move?:

Hang in there, esp. Louise!!

Bex

P.S. Brooklynmom, how were the weekend visiters??

[guerrillamama]

single mom bennies??????
:
oh please, someone tell me where to sign up for those!
(seriously, work it if you can Ravin - i think you might have a point for undergrad, but in law school - my school anyway - they do not give a rat's ass how many kids or how few husbands you got.)

i'm a little stressed today, y'all. up till now i have been leaving ds w/ a sitter during my wed night class, but taking him to my tues/fri class, and it's worked beautifully up till recently. but today my tues/fri prof told me, very nicely and reasonably, that he would like for me to make other arrangements now, as ds is getting much more active and vocal. i guess i should just be thankful that both ds and prof were so accomodating for so long. but instead i'm just freaking out about child care issue. i was really hopig to make it to the end of the semesster. i'm just feeling so overwhelmed by everything, i just do not feel up to dealing w/ this at all. on top of everything else, ds has, in the last week, adopted a strident anti-babysitter, anti-bottle platform. brilliant timing.

Bex80 thanks for asking! not weekEND visitors. my dad and stepmom got here the first day of my break, stressed me the f**k out, and ds and i came down w/ a horrible cold the very next day. dad and stepmom stayed for 5 days, and altho she was on her best behavior, give credit where its due, there is just no way that situation could not be majorly stressful. the day after they left my sister got here and stayed 8 days, and she was a huge help, especially b/c ds and i were still sick for most of that time. she left yesterday morning. and i noticed the same thing as the last time she came - right after her visit i feel so lonely and overwhelmed and small and not up to this task. i don't feel like that normally, not at all. but after having someone around, who i'm close to and can really count on, i guess the contrast is what makes it so hard. i'm having a hard day.

don't ask me how i'll get that paper done in the next month. 15 minutes a day is not gonna cut it.



ok, enuf of that.

june'smom, i got your pm but haven't had a chance to write back yet. sorry! you know how it is...

[Bex80]

Awww, brooklyn mom:

I don't know what it's like to be a single parent, let alone a single parent *and* student, but I can imagin it is very, very hard and stressful. You are doing the best you can right now and that will be enough-it has to

That's crappy about the prof., but at least he was kind to you. i know it's hard, but can your Wed. nite sitter watch your munchkin?

Also, I do know that emoty, lonely, sad-in-the-pit-of-your-stomach feeling very well. I always feel that way when my MIL leaves after a visit (she adores Austin and takes him all over so I can get a break) and when Heath goes back to work after the weekend. That extra set of helping hands is such a comfort and especially when you are doing it all by yourself the rest of the time. I hope you feel better, tomorrow's a new day. Hugs mama!!!!

Bex