Help with a resistant DH....

[Carliegirl]

So, I just found out that I'm expecting our third (Yay!!!!) and I have been having fun browsing through the posts on here and thinking happily about the whole cloth diaper thing again.

But, I've got an issue. I have a 3 year old (potty trained during the day but still wearing diapers at night) and a 19 month old (working on potty training but still wearing sposies at night and during the day most of the time). I started out with disposables for the first week or so for both boys and then switched to cloth. DH is very resistant to cloth...sees them as somehow backward, more work, and a lower quality choice that I am stupidly insisting on instead of just moving ahead with the times and using those handy disposables.He's not much on being helpful with the kids so he won't touch doing laundry and most of the time doesn't change diapers at all either but, when he does, he insists that I keep paper in the house because he "won't use those cloth things." I think both times I started out very enthusiastic but, he gradually wore me down and I got sick of the ribbing and the lack of support and just caved and ended up using paper.

Do any of you have any tips for helping me stay strong this time? I know that I need some good absorbent diapers for nighttime and I need to make sure I get diapers that are nicely fitted and don't blow out (DH claims that cloth leaks and disposables don't which isn't true but anyhow...).

I'm contemplating whether or not I should just avoid the whole disposable issue all together and not even buy my standard newborn sposies. I know my mom who is cloth diaper supportive (she cd'd six kids!) will be here to help out the first two weeks after the birth anyway. Maybe I am planting bad seeds even letting the disposables in the house at the beginning. I am considering the wisdom of just stopping the disposables with the older boys too. What do you think?

[lillacfaerie]

does your husband know how much money disposables cost? Around here 7th generation diapers are $.50 each! I estimate that when we are done having babies we will have saved at least $1,000 per child on diapers. That is a cautious estimate.
For nighttime I use a pocket diaper with the micro insert, plus 3 hemp doublers, and then a cover called "stacinator so simple". Nothing can get past that cover. I use it on my eight month old who still nurses three times a night. She leaks out of disposables btw

[lillacfaerie]

you can get great sizing at www.softclothbunz.com. they have great prefold sizing. I just bought a bunch and I LOVE THEM!

[octobermom]

Considering I don't see disposables as evil my opnion might be diffrent but I'd purchase what ever cloth diapers that you want and then provide DH with one package of sposies to use through the month. Just say this is what we have to use if hes not doing many changes that one package will be plenty. Stick to the one and just matter of fact say if they run out its cloth only till next month (next paytime ect). I know when we first started with cloth my DH was not sure he didn't have something against cloth just thought disposables made more sense. SO I gave him sposies... Nothing like having to go through 6 sposies in one diaper change during those explosive poo stages or seeing the cost of using 15 disposables a day for him to decide cloth might not be so bad.

Deanna

[cristeen]

Honestly, when he starts with something like that, I'd be more likely to say "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all"...

The fact is, after 2 kids you're not going to change his mind on cloth vs sposies. So concentrate on getting him to knock off the bad-mouthing. He doesn't want to use cloth on the rare occasion when he changes a dipe, that's fine. Whether or not it's worth keeping sposies on hand for that rare occasion or just resigning yourself to doing all the diaper changes is your choice, though. Which would be less hassle?

[Gabes Mommy]

It doesn't sound like you're going to change his mind, so you may way to compromise. Keep some paper dipes around the house if he does end up changing a diaper, otherwise you can use cloth. I would also point out the cost savings. That's what did it for my DH!

[Epona]

Well, I hate to agree with sposies at all. But I must admit, that if this is truly something that he feels strongly about, then he deserves a bag of sposies in the house. I mean really, he's not diapering often, right? So you're most likely not using up many sposies at all. However, before you give in, get a handful of quality AIO's. And perhaps, just perhaps, he'd be willing to use those? As for his remarks, I'd tell him to just stop being a big butt, and stuff it already. But I'm delicate and diplomatic like that.

[Carliegirl]

Thanks ladies. Sounds like the consensus is....don't hassle him but don't let him hassle me. I"ll keep paper around for him although not in massive quantity and maybe I'll ask him to try a cloth once in a while to see what he thinks.

I just dug out my fuzzi bunz again and put one on DS #2 for his nap (he's sleeping now). I think the big thing I need is more enthusiasm myself...its so easy to get worn down when I get overloaded on laundry but, coming over to this board helps. Its inspirational to browse through and see what you are all doing and hear pro-cloth discussion.

Thanks for being diplomatic, wise and thoughtful.

[abemom2]

My DH doesn't CD either. I do most changes, and when he does it, he puts on a Sposie. Not everyone needs to agree on everything.
He does plenty of other things around the house.

I don't think you need to argue! Do what works for you. I'll also have 2 in dipes soon. I've had it before, but I wasn't CD yet then, so we'll see how it goes! (At night all my kids are in dipes.)

[allisonrose]

I don't have a lot of wisdom to share. My hubby doesn't have a problem with me using cloth and even once said that cloth saved us money but he basically boycotts them. I was a big pocket diaper fan and would always use my FBs before my BGs since I realized velcro was easier than snaps for my hubby. He still barely used them. (Except when he was unemployed for a short time. )

We moved to a warmer climate and I traded some FBs for some prefolds. Honestly they make laundry so much easier. No prepping the cloth diapers - just carry them upstairs. Less stink issues as well. I know that there is a 0% chance of my hubby putting a pf on our guy but my life is easier.

We do keep sposies around the house. I use one a day for overnight. I do sometimes debate whether to have hubby change a diaper and waste money on a sposie or whether I want to change him myself....