Help! Burnout!

[my3monkees]

I think I am experiencing homeschoool mom burnout. Actually I know I am, I have been here before! The last time it happened I switched around my teaching style went very relaxed for awhile. That worked great! But now my kids are older, and I don't feel comfortable just doing that any more. I am feeling more pressure to make sure that are learning the things they need.
It is only out second day and of school and I am seriously considering sending my dd to the public school. I spent most of yesterday yelling at her.
We are doing Oak Meadow as I thought that would be a great program for her, as she does well with structure and loves to read. It's not like I make her work hours a day I don't, I still keep everything very relaxed and flexible. It's not school at home, style at all. But instead all she is doing is complaining, everything with her is a struggle. She has to question and complain about everything!! Why do I have to learn this, when will I use it, it's too hard, it will take to long, its boring, I can't. Then don't even get more started on the tears! Everything ends with her in tears. I just can't take it much more. I'm at my breaking point with her. Maybe a few months in school, would make her appreciate how nice she has it.

I also have a 10 yr. with learning disabilites, he requires alot of help and attention.

I am also starting over with one that is K-1st.

I have been doing this 8 years now, I should be the expert. Instead I'm ready to throw in the towel!

My dh isn't much help with things either. He does help when I direct him, but I get tired of directing him.

I'm also trying to work 20-30 hours a week from home, doing ChaCha as we need the money desperately.

I just feel as as if things and unraveling and I am losing it! My depression is getting worse, I've just had it!!:

If you've made it this far thru my rant, thanks!!

[mommy2abigail]

No wise words, but sorry it's so hard right now.

[chfriend]

Have you thought about using workboxes to arrange the work, then letting them work through it, asking for help as they need it?

[my3monkees]

Originally Posted by chfriend

Have you thought about using workboxes to arrange the work, then letting them work through it, asking for help as they need it?

This is pretty close to what I do. They are expected finish a lesson a week, but I don't assign anything more than that. They are free to work whatever subject they like for the day. But my dd still complains about everything she picks up!

[Ruthla]

It sounds like this "new" teaching style isn't working for your daughter. It sounds to me like you're giving into outside pressure to "teach her the things you think she needs to learn" rather than responding to her own innate desire for more structure and/or letting her explore the world and study the things that interest her. I don't see why she needs more structure JUST because she's 12.

If you do decide to send her to public school, make sure you approach it in a positive light. She just might thrive there- my 13yo is in public school this year, her choice, and doing all the structured work. Last year we were practically unschooling. She's not having any academic trouble in any of her classes, in spite of the "lack of structured learning" she's had in the past. She still has the skills to keep up with her classmates, even though I never "taught" any of them.

So, if you send her to school hoping she'll hate it and beg to be homeschooled again, you might be bitterly dissapointed if she decides she's done homeschooling and school is great. Or, if she hates it, you'll have even MORE work getting her to bed early, up early, doing homework after school (that may take more time than HSing would have), etc. If this is the case, it won't help your depression at all.

I think you need to take a look at what your daughter wants and needs. Talk to her. See what she WANTS to do. If she wants to keep on HSing in a more relaxed manner, then go back to that. You can probably use the OM materials you already have, but not using them exactly as they're designed.

I also suspect that a big part of the problem here is that your DD is 12 and hormonal. Whether or not she attends school, she's likely to be moody at times.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by Ruthla

I think you need to take a look at what your daughter wants and needs. Talk to her. See what she WANTS to do. If she wants to keep on HSing in a more relaxed manner, then go back to that. You can probably use the OM materials you already have, but not using them exactly as they're designed.

I also suspect that a big part of the problem here is that your DD is 12 and hormonal. Whether or not she attends school, she's likely to be moody at times.

I think those two points are really important.

The child is so often the last person consulted. And to make it all the harder, a 12 year old is quickly entering a whole new way of being and not wanting to be treated like a child - which can be complicated when there are still other children in the mix. The hormones are raging, the mind and body are stretching - everything's changing, and the last thing on her mind is academic studies. Maybe you all need a break for a while... Ooh - this just reminded me of a great article a friend (a mom of four, and also an educational consultant) wrote awhile back on this subject of burnout: Crockpot Homeschooling. Just a few of her comments:
-Give yourself permission to free the children of a curriculum or program if it isn't working. A plan that has everyone stressed out, crying, and fighting is not a good plan at all.
-Take a break! If homeschooling isn't working, drop what you are doing and go to the park and play. Breathing in fresh air can lend itself to a fresh perspective on everyone's attitude.
-Parents must fill up their pitchers before they can fill up their children's cups. Do something for yourself. Go to the library alone for a change. Try having dinner with your best friend, go see a play, or take a dance class just for you. If we are running on empty, we have nothing to give our families.

- Lillian

[sarathan]

Since my fairly new to homeschooling, I have no read advice and all I can offer is a big . I'm sorry things are hard for you right now! Does your older dd work independently at all? Is this something you could be working towards? I agree that she's old enough to have a say in curriculum. I hope things get better for you soon!