Asking for strong thoughts--hosp transfer?

[cbhowell]

Things w/my body have suddenly gone south: high BP even higher, liver panel results bad, feel awful. Midwife is really conservative/careful (which is a good thing! of course), but looks like possible induction tomorrow or the next day (if we can convince hospital to take me in). I'm 38+a few , so babe's fine (presumably).



I'm very very upset, because for 2 years all I've wanted is a homebirth & to have my son present--it's been a recurrent dream (literally). None of the hospitals here will allow a 4 yr old (even w/adult friend) present--which, of course, I understand from a logical perspective. But, the more I think about it, the more frantic I get, and I can just feeeeeeel my BP rising!

I'm a wreck, and feel like it's all my fault for not eating enough protein, etc. And, I'm terrified: stroking out/seizing/or worse isn't what I want, either!.

Anyway: I'd appreciate a few good thoughts esp from any of you who've dealt w/pre-e or full-blown eclampsia (which I'm headed toward, rapidly), health-related inductions, and health-related hosp-transfers. And, of course, any one who did the 24 eggs in 24 hrs thing and had it help (I'm skeptical).

[Dmitrizmom]

sending good thoughts your way.

[~Caitlyn~]

I'm so sorry... hang in there Mamma... keep us updated.

I'll be thinking about you and sending you healing and calming vibes.

[MyZoeJane]

No experience with pre-e... but I can imagine how stressed it is making you feel.

I can also imagine how difficult it is to "let go" of a desire you've had for so long... but it really is necessary to stay flexible and remind yourself that the outcome is WAY more important than the process. By wanting something too badly you set yourself up for a greater diappointment when things might not work out the way you hoped, I think.

Your baby will come and he or she will be fine and you will soon let go of what you are clinging so tightly to now and all will be well.

Hang in there, mama.

[octobermoon]

i'm sorry mama. i lost my home birth too so i know it's really hard. hang in there.

[2boyzmama]

s

Mourn your loss, it's okay to do that, then focus on the healthy baby that you're going to have in your arms very soon!!!

Good luck mama, I'll be sending you positive vibes!!!

[cristeen]

I'll keep you in my thoughts. And I emailed you.

[octobermoon]

OK so now that i posted my possible induction i can say i SO KNOW how you feel! can we just scream together and be done with all of this scariness already?

[Bokonon]

Lurking here, but this is NOT your fault! The Brewer diet is extremely controversial. I've met several women on the Preeclampsia Foundation forums who followed the Brewer Diet to a tee, and still developed severe preeclampsia and/or HELLP Syndrome. It is not a cure-all and may actually cause more harm than good by taxing already-comprised kidneys with excessive protein.

I had severe preeclampsia with both pregnancies, and had c-sections. With my first, it was determined that there wasn't enough time for me to be induced - even 24 hours might have been too long. As it was, my son's first Apgar was 1.

I've read too many horror stories on the pre-e forum of women who felt fine and went in for a routine checkup only to have an emergency c-section because of pre-e. Some even lost their babies. There was a woman in Oklahoma who was in the news yesterday after dying from complications of HELLP.

I don't mean to scare you, but I truly believe that especially at term, delivery by whatever means necessary is in the best interests of mom and baby.

I wish you the absolute best of luck and easiest, most satisfying birth possible! I will be thinking of you!

[Guinevere]

Originally Posted by cbhowell

Things w/my body have suddenly gone south: high BP even higher, liver panel results bad, feel awful. Midwife is really conservative/careful (which is a good thing! of course), but looks like possible induction tomorrow or the next day (if we can convince hospital to take me in). I'm 38+a few , so babe's fine (presumably).



I'm very very upset, because for 2 years all I've wanted is a homebirth & to have my son present--it's been a recurrent dream (literally). None of the hospitals here will allow a 4 yr old (even w/adult friend) present--which, of course, I understand from a logical perspective. But, the more I think about it, the more frantic I get, and I can just feeeeeeel my BP rising!

I'm a wreck, and feel like it's all my fault for not eating enough protein, etc. And, I'm terrified: stroking out/seizing/or worse isn't what I want, either!.

Anyway: I'd appreciate a few good thoughts esp from any of you who've dealt w/pre-e or full-blown eclampsia (which I'm headed toward, rapidly), health-related inductions, and health-related hosp-transfers. And, of course, any one who did the 24 eggs in 24 hrs thing and had it help (I'm skeptical).

Oh, huge s to you, mama! I *do* understand where you're coming from, b/c I lost my homebirth this time around due to developing severe pre-e and HELLP and had a hospital induction instead. At least I got my VBAC. But this was my last baby, and therefore my absolute last opportunity to have a HB, have my other kids witness the miracle of birth, have a warm, non-interventive, supportive birthing atmosphere. Sniff. I do understand your grief, b/c I share it. It is absolutely sad and you need to give yourself the space to grieve the birth experience you had dreamed and planned for.

With that said, when I went into L&D this time with horrific heartburn, sky-high BP and feeling just awful physically, I knew, as much as I hate hospitals, that it was the right place for me to be under the circumstances. Pre-e and HELLP especially are simply not medical conditions that lend themselves to homebirth. They can be life-threatening, plain and simple, for both mama and baby.

Oh, and please don't bother with the eggs -- no amount of protein is going to change elevated liver enzymes or improve kidney function or increase your platelet count. As the previous poster already stated, if your kidneys aren't doing well anyway, the last thing they need is tons of protein to try and process; all it does is further stress an already failing and ill system. FWIW, I followed the Brewer Diet to the letter with my 2nd pg on the recommendations of my MW and ended up developing eclampsia (seizures) at 31 wks. Clearly, it is not a magic bullet.

Developing pre-e/HELLP is NOT your fault. It is not due to anything you did or didn't do. It is a major bummer of a pg complication and you just had the rotten luck to end up having it. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of us who end up in this dubious club. So no, you don't have any control over this part, but you DO still have control over some things. If induction is in your future (and magnesium sulfate may be, as well), then try to mentally prepare yourself as best as possible and stick to your guns on things that you CAN still control, i.e. keeping baby with you after birth, having them do vitals, etc. there in the room and not in the nursery, having your DH cut the cord, whatever is most important to you.

If you have any questions regarding what an induction for pre-e might look like, please feel free to PM me -- I've had two of them, both pretty similar, even though they took place in different states almost 9 yrs. apart.

Most of all, I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and hoping everything goes as smoothly as possible and that you give birth before becoming any sicker. Hang in there!

Guin

[cbhowell]

Oh, thank you, everyone. I feel so much better hearing from all of you. So far, labs are coming back either fine or borderline un-fine. Doing the 24 urine thing today, and by tomorrow afternoon we'll know for sure if it's induction time, or wait a little bit time. DH & I had already decided the egg thing was crazy (for reasons PPs mentioned), and we're happy our midwife is, actually, pretty conservative.

I'm getting over the it's-my-fault thing. And totally willing to do what's needed.

Will post again soon--at the very least, soon we get to meet our girl!

[darcytrue]

Originally Posted by MyZoeJane

I can also imagine how difficult it is to "let go" of a desire you've had for so long... but it really is necessary to stay flexible and remind yourself that the outcome is WAY more important than the process. By wanting something too badly you set yourself up for a greater diappointment when things might not work out the way you hoped, I think.

Your baby will come and he or she will be fine and you will soon let go of what you are clinging so tightly to now and all will be well.

ditto this.

I've wanted so badly to have a VBA2C but it doesn't look like I'll get it since my scheduled c-section is next week. No sign of baby coming before then, at least not so far. I know how it feels but in a different way. I've wanted the VBAC but I've known in the back of my mind I probably wouldn't get it and that's okay too. I just want my baby here healthy and I want to get out of the hospital and back home as soon as possible. Those are most important to me.

[xelakann]

Caitlyn, so sorry you going through this. How stressful! I hope you can have your home birth, if you couldn't would be delivering at Legacy or Providence? I have heard good things about both.

Sending healthy birthing and baby vibes your way

~Kimberly