I an SO TIRED of them stealing food!!!!

[childsplay]

We have healthy balanced meals, snacktimes, unlimited access to cold water bottles and apples, I pack huge lunches for them, (thermos of 'meal' like chicken/potatoes, spagetti, pancakes, etc...a fruit, yogurt, bread and cheese, plus two snacky things like granola bar and cookie) we have after school snack, always homemade like cornbread or muffins, plus they finish up what they didn't eat at school. A few hours later we eat supper, or should I say, us big people eat, the little people , well, don't.
In between snack and supper I find granola wrappers, yogurt containers, banana peels, cookie crumbs everywhere. And it's not for total lack of supervision, they're usually within sight of me, or talking to me, or doing puzzle or reading with me, heck, and I'm usually in the kitchen with the babies. And they're 5 and 6 year olds....who are used to entertaining themselves. BUT, if I duck out to pee, hang a load of wash, hand off a daycare babe to his Mama, grab some veg from the garden, change a bum, etc....that's when the stealing happens. I've hidden granola bars and treats in the highest farthest cupboards, and they still take them : ( I've talked, I've bargained, I've argued, I've been firm, I've been mad, I've been furious, I've been understanding, I've been frusterated, I've been crying on the floor at 7am because the stuff I bought specifically for lunches is gone and I have no money to replace it till payday and I'm terrified of sending them to school all day without enough food.
I am at my wits end. I've packed everything in a duffel bag and hid it on my closet shelf, I've told them that tonights dessert will be their reheated dinner, as it will be tomorrow's lunch too (it's a great dinner btw, homemade Chinese food, which they usually like but are just to stuffed on pilfered junk to enjoy it)
I'm really upset about this, we're very open about our grocery finances with the kids, and they help with lists and at the store we talk about what's the best deal etc, what we'd have to not do that week in order to buy an 'extra', so for them to turn around and steal these 'special' luch items is really sickening to me.
I feel awful for yelling at them, yup I totally lost it, the whole GD thing went flying out the window. I even called them ingrates : ( Now they're all in Ds's room looking at books....being unnaturally quiet. Not a good quiet either. Gad I just feel like poop about this.....
Maybe I'm overthinking it? Maybe they're just hungry? I can't see it though. Maybe they're just being kids and testing their boundaries?
Anyway, I guess this was more of a vent....thanks for 'listening' I'm going in to read to them now, I don't know if we'll talk about it anymore tonight though.

[One_Girl]

Store bought junk food, like granola bars, taste much better than homemade food and are very hard for young kids to resist. I remember going crazy and gorging on store bought food whenever I got the chance as a young kid. I don't think it is because of depravation, some people's taste buds prefer different things and store bought food happened to be what my taste buds preferred.

Perhaps you could switch to giving them the homemade stuff with their lunch and the granola bars as a snack when they get home. If they eat all of the granola bars behind your back then I think you should give them something else from the grain group for a snack, like a piece of bread and if there is complaining tell them you are sad there aren't granola bars too and that there won't be again until payday. If their school offers hot lunch it may be a cheaper alternative, especially if you qualify for reduced or free lunch. Many school districts are going with much healthier alternatives and you may find that yours is if you call and talk to the cooks.

[Drummer's Wife]

I don't buy granola bars or packaged yogurt and one of the reasons is b/c I know my kids would eat them up quickly (and I would have to hide them like you do, if I wanted them to last for something like school snacks). I don't buy crackers or cereal (except occasionally) for similar reasons. Plus, I really try to avoid processed stuff like that so it's a win-win. No wrappers all over my house, no money spent wasted on junky foods. I would just tell them these are what I bought, and when they are gone, they are gone (for the pre-packaged stuff). Not that they will necessarily regulate how many they eat a day that way, but at least it won't be an issue until you buy more again.

We always have a variety of fresh fruit and veggies, cheese, nuts, etc., availaibe so I don't feel like I have to control what and when they choose to eat, yk? The only thing is if I need something for a recipe and I don't want it all gone before I cook, I might mention it to the kids so they don't eat it. But really, it's not the end of the world if I have to go to the store again.

My kids get home from school at 4:30 and they tend to be super hungry by then. And they eat a good breakfast in the morning before leaving, have been eating yet a second breakfast once they get to school (they have a choice to go to breakfast or go to the playground before the bell rings), then they have snacktime mid-morning, then lunchtime, then what must seem like a really long time until they get off the bus. So they tend to eat quite a bit between 4:30-5:00 which works well b/c we eat dinner later. Sometimes I feel like they are always hungry, and always eating!! But really, they are healthy weights (my boys even a bit on the too skinny side) and I know that what they eat at home is very healthy so it's not even an issue.

[BrooklynDoula]

My experience is similar to the others. If I buy junky snacks, then that is all they want to eat. So, I don't buy it or only as a rare treat. It does make packing lunches a bigger challenge, but I find the cost is so much less and the frustration of too much snacking is removed. Things I find work as snacks instead:

dried mango, bananna, apple
homemade popcorn
cheese
nuts
fruit/veggies
hummus
corn chips (I get small bags, a junk food item)
smoothies (at home snack obviously)
hard boiled eggs
raviolis (they will eat them cocked but cold)

I really think, given everything you have tried, that the right answer might be to just remove the temptation.

[gillibean]

I would think that a natural consequence of stealing the treats is that there simply wouldn't be any for lunch. Of course in my home it's DH who pigs out on the treats, which we rarely get at all.

[jjawm]

Like pp, I don't keep prepackaged food at home. I've made my own granola bars in the past, but no premade ones. Their lunches consist of sandwich or noodles/soup, fruit, and homemade treat. The younger one likes to have his treat at home after school.

I would fill their lunches with fruit, nuts, cheese, ect. Then just don't buy the premade stuff. That way it's not even an option. Boxes of cereal get inhaled at my house, so we simply don't have them. The kids can have toast, eggs, frozen pancakes, or whatever for breakfast.

[Oubliette8]

They might actually be hungry, particularly if they are going through a growth spurt. My parents limited snacks and I distinctly remember feeling very hungry, being denied snacks, and having to steal them instead. It didn't happen all the time, I think it was more common during growth spurts and such. They other thing was that because the food was off limits, when left alone we'd make a mad dash for the goodies.

Some things that might work- offer them healthy snacks. If they say they are hungry, offer them something specific (There are carrot sticks or string cheese, which would you like?) If they aren't really hungry but just craving the sweets, they'll normally decline, if they're really hungry, well, anythings better than nothing.

I also think its perfectly reasonable to set a natural consequence- if they steal all the granola bars, then there are no granola bars until the next regularly scheduled shopping trip. Might it help to ratio them at the beginning of the week(everyone has X number granola bars to last them for the week, once you run out, there are no more) It might even help to put there ration in a bag with their name on it- then they can see what is theirs, and what needs to last for other people. i would think more about stealing a granola bar from my brother's bag than I would about taking one from the family cupboard.

[childsplay]

Thanks for all the replies, I agree, I think they just go a little crazy when they know that there's store bought junk in the house.
I really don't like buying huge boxes of granola bars, but they're cheap and quick, the yougurt as well, it's easy to throw in their lunchbags, but it's loaded with aspartame.
I really like the idea of just not buying any of it, the money being saved on premade stuff could be used for more baking supplies, fruits, cheeses and breads.
The kids seemed fine in the end, we had a little talk about it and ds said he took the granola bars because they taste good. ( the simple honest explanations of a child : ) and we worked on a model ship for a while. They didn't mention my yelling but my other ds said "you've had a very long day"

All was well this am. but I didn't pack any of the remaining junk, instead loaded up their lunchbags with leftovers, muffins and raisins and peaches. I think they can deal with that : )

[Cavy]

I have a combination lock (only DH and I know the combo) on the 'treats' cupboard, which is where we store cookies, granola bars, some dried fruit, chocolate and crisps (potato chips).

DD was sneaking down at night and raiding the cupboard after 9pm, DS (4-5yo) was helping himself when my back was turned.

From what I've heard, the lock will come in especially handy when they are teenagers. Impossible to keep any supplies of yummy food in the house for any amount of time, otherwise.

They have free access to stuff like bagels and bananas.

[heartmama]

From what I've heard, the lock will come in especially handy when they are teenagers. Impossible to keep any supplies of yummy food in the house for any amount of time, otherwise.

I would urge you to reconsider this approach. Using a lock to control the food in your home, as a long term plan, may create all kinds of unhealthy power struggles around food.

Certainly by the teenager years, if children have no sense of control over food at home, they will obtain it elsewhere.

To the OP, I would stop buying the pre packaged foods. It sounds like the emotional turmoil is just not worth the stress. It sounds like you and the kids are 'upping the ante' around this issue, and when that happens, I usually find it's wisest to elminate the source for awhile and 'reset' the situation.

I have found that all three of us (ds, dh, myself) will burn through packaged foods quickly. A box of cereal is gone in a day. So, we switched to a large carton of oatmeal. That will last all week.

For whatever reason it is very common for parents to find themselves tempted to ration packaged foods. It is a common power struggle. Even adults tend to binge on packaged foods, but have much better control over bulk items, or items that require one step of preparation (like a pb and j sandwich).

[elisent]

I have actually been considering a lock, too. My older 3 just do not know how to stop eating even when they're full. And half the time they just destroy it. The only thing worse than finding 4 packages of expensive berries have all been eaten the first day by one person is to find that half of them were thrown under the table and then stomped on so they stain the floor.

Yes, they have supervision but sometimes I am busy giving one a bath or something, and they also like to randomly wake up at 5am some days and can be very quiet.

[vbactivist]

Please don't lock up your food. Heartmama said it well. If it is becoming a power struggle, then just don't buy that stuff anymore.

[mamazee]

I would do whatever it took to make food not so much of an issue. I would, at any cost, avoid locking food up because that can create hoarding behavior with food, which can lead to serious obesity/overeating issues.

If some foods are big problems, don't buy them, or at least don't buy them unless they're understood to be available whenever anyone wants them.

[freestyler]

I can see where keeping a combination-locked supply of goodies could be helpful. When kids are totally lacking in self control, and it's more trouble than it's worth to do the whole "consequences" thing, sometimes it's just wiser to choose your priorities. In other words, there is a lock, the granola bars are off limits, period. End of battles. No more stress for mommy. Done.

Then there will be enough goodies for lunches, the kids can better use their energy than trying to sneak things and can actually re-focus themselves on playing and such, and when Mommy goes to use the food, it is still there. All without anyone yelling, pestering, or plaguing. I think there is nothing wrong with this. I mean, you only have so much energy to run around after them.

Then every so often, you get rid of the lock and let them know that the lock will STAY OFF if they can control themselves. Probably they willl control themselves for a day or two, and then the lock might go back on for another period of time. Anyway, a lock would provide a short-term solution for all the mindless food grabbing, which kids LOVE to do when they are bored or just being annoying. No one needs to be grab-grabbing at food all day. THAT is unhealthy. I know some kids need snacks---although fewer snacks in general than we, as an overweight society, are led to believe----but the OP is NOT NOT NOT starving her children.

I like the lock idea. Get the food grabbies over with and let the kids refocus their energy on more worthwhile pursuits. I also second the idea of having no pre-packaged food in the house. But that can be hard to do, especially if you are a normal, human mother with only so many hours in a day. Most of us don't have time to mix up granola bars from scratch every day. You have to put something in the 'ol lunch boxes. And it gets pretty expensive if Junior eats all the lunch box food and Mommy has to keep buying more. And which of us is truly going to send the kids to school/wherever with not enough food, hoping Junior will make the connection between his empty stomach all afternoon and the granola bars he snuck three days earlier? ??

I say get the lock. Sure, try to reduce prepackaged food, but get the lock anyway and move on to more useful ways for you all to spend your energy. It would also provide some boundaries for the kids and say to them, "Hey, we're done eating now, so let's move the subject away from food and think about something else now." It is healthy not to be thinking about food all. darned. day. Keep an unlimited supply of healthy snacks (think raw veggies and low carb foods) around for them, and leave it at that. If my kids are truly hungry, they will take the cucumbers and carrots and peppers I offer them. But I also make sure their three meals a day are good ones, and I give them a snack after school before their very intense sports practice.

Good luck!! And be sure to tell US all the combination, LOL, so we can eat your granola bars while you're snoozing!

[2xy]

Originally Posted by childsplay

I really don't like buying huge boxes of granola bars, but they're cheap and quick, the yougurt as well, it's easy to throw in their lunchbags, but it's loaded with aspartame.

There are plenty of brands of yogurt that don't use artificial sweeteners.

As a mother of two teenagers, I cannot imagine locking food away where they couldn't get to it. That just seems wrong on so many levels. It indicates a lack of trust.

[chfriend]

All the food in our house belongs to all the people in our house. One cannot steal what one already owns.

[Drummer's Wife]

I'm having a hard time understanding locking up food. I mean, freestyler had a good explanation but I just can't see it getting to that point. I would much rather not buy the granola bars, or have them be gone in a day or two and have no more for snacks/lunches as a consequence.

I guess I could see hiding a bag of halloween candy in my closet - but if I did that, I would likely not even mention that I had bought them to my kids. So, I suppose that is similar in a way... but for some reason buying junk/packaged foods and locking them up within sight of other family members seems really odd to me.

[mamabutterfly]

I agree with those suggesting making after school snack include those treat types, so that they can enjoy them *with* you, not sneak them. They can't feel too good about "stealing" after you've asked them not to, etc.
So then there won't also be granola bar or cookie in the lunch box, that would be the muffin or cornbread instead.

We have a treat snack after school, dd & I together, usually as a "tea time." Then it isn't forbidden, hidden, etc. I wish we had no packaged or processed food in the house, but we do in moderation, and I try to model a balanced enjoyment of things. I used to hide sweets as a kid, I didn't want to set that up.

Our rationale goes something like: "Yes, we bake and eat cookies/store bought granola bars, etc, after school. No, usually not for breakfast or immediately before bed. Here's my thinking on why." Dd, 7, is totally able to be on board with this.

[jenners26]

Originally Posted by chfriend

All the food in our house belongs to all the people in our house. One cannot steal what one already owns.

Yes, exactly. I agree.

Maybe you could talk to them about your concerns (not having enough food for their lunches) and ask them for alternatives they'd like to have in their lunches if they end up eating all of the food you had planned on using. If time is an issue, pack their lunches the night before. I can't imagine not letting my kids eat what they wanted in their own house.

[purplemoon]

I am glad I am not the only one with this issue. If I buy Yobaby yogurts (they don't have the junk in them) they are gone by afternoon, with 2 uneaten and destroyed. Granola bars? Pilfered. They spend all day grazing healthy snacks, and I obviously allow them to. Cheese? Sure. Apples? Have at them. Destroying and binging on goodies? Not cool.

So I don't buy any granola bars and I buy the drinkable yogurts once in a blue moon. I had given my kids 100% blueberry juice until they whined for it all the time. Wanted more than a half glass a day. Instead of being supreme dicatator, I just don't buy it. I decided that battle wasn't worth it and they never mentioned it again (4 and 2). They can have juice if we are out and about.

So, I wouldn't do the lock, though I can completely see why that can be a great idea. However, a logical consequence of their behavior is to stop buying the treats which will teach them control. You can reintroduce at times, ready to stop buying them again if their behavior continues.

Either way, there was some great advise out there!