Learning to not grab...for me!

[MamaRuga]

I am noticing that I need to learn not to grab. When my 1 1/2 year old has something she shouldn't our first reaction is to just grab it while saying "give this to me please". Now, I do try as much as possible to trade. She likes trades. But there are times that the trade doesn't work because she really wants what she has or because there is nothing to trade with. Pens are a good example. There have been a few times she has gotten a sharp knife while I was unloading the dishwasher, too. I grab those as quick as I can. But there are other times that I am just too tired or in a hurry and don't take the time for trading.

I feel like I do this a lot and am teaching her that grabbing is ok since mommy does it to her. Any ideas on how to handle this when there isn't time or an appropriate object to trade?

[ians_mommy]

Originally Posted by MamaRuga

I am noticing that I need to learn not to grab. When my 1 1/2 year old has something she shouldn't our first reaction is to just grab it while saying "give this to me please". Now, I do try as much as possible to trade. She likes trades. But there are times that the trade doesn't work because she really wants what she has or because there is nothing to trade with. Pens are a good example. There have been a few times she has gotten a sharp knife while I was unloading the dishwasher, too. I grab those as quick as I can. But there are other times that I am just too tired or in a hurry and don't take the time for trading.

I feel like I do this a lot and am teaching her that grabbing is ok since mommy does it to her. Any ideas on how to handle this when there isn't time or an appropriate object to trade?

Good question! I am interested to read some of the more experienced mothers advice. I just finished Dr Sear's Discipline book and he mentions the confusing message this sends. I have a 22 mo, so am at the same place you are.
I DO try to let him handle (explore) as much as I can. I have a high tolerance for him touching expensive/breakable items, but a low tolerance for dangerous items.

I try to ask for him to hand something back to me that I dont particularly want him to have. Sometimes he's cooperative, but other times I need to distract with a sudden "I'm gunna get you!" and run after him with tickle hands raised. He usually starts laughing so hard he drops and forgets the object. Another thing I do is to suddenly say "OH! where's Joe-Joe?" and run off looking for our dog. He will usually run after me and forget the object.

But you are right, sometimes we have to act quick without negotiation (a penny heading for the mouth). At those times I say "no thank you" (because DS is in the habit of saying "thank you" whenever receiving or handing off an object) and quickly confiscate the offending object. I dont think those moments can be completely avoided.