39 week appointment-- so pissed at myself!

[texmati]

I have no spine.

I finally gave in and went to this appointment with my mom. She's been bugging me about finding out how dialated I am, so I agreed to get checked. Even though I didnt' want to. Even though I think they are painful as all get out (my midwife doesn't keep her nails short? I thought this would be a common courtesy in her profession?)

So I went in, got checked, and now I have to worry about bloody show and infection, and cramping for the next two days. Why? Because I couldn't tell my mom NO. No, I'm not getting checked. No, I don't think it's a good idea. No, I don't care if you are excited and want to know.

Just typing this out makes me sick to my stomach. What am I, 16? I can't believe that I can't stand up for myself. My mom's not even that pushy, it's just that I feel so guilty standing up to her.

[2boyzmama]

It's okay, relax, probably no harm done

Since you did get checked...what are you?

It's very unlikely that any "damage" was done, almost ALL women get checked at the end of their pregnancies, and while I don't recommend it, it's rare that a problem comes from it, you know? You're most likely just fine! No sense in worrying over it. If you do get some bloody show, maybe it really is the start of things! You never know!!

Hang in there, you're almost done!

[texmati]

I'm 1.5 centimeters and 70% effaced. I really hope that there is no damage done. I guess part of it is that I don't want to go into labor for another couple weeks if I can help it. I've also lost a centimeter in fundal hieght, so I think the baby has dropped.

I just feel like such pushover, yk?