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Anyone with OLDER intact sons - please respond! - Page 2

post #21 of 45
9/17/09 at 10:49am
My intact, 32 year old husband was never teased.

My oldest is just getting ready to turn 7, but he is extremely appalled that anyone would forcibly mutilate another person's genitals.
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post #22 of 45
9/17/09 at 11:15am
I really don't think it would be an issue with my 15 y/o intact DS.

And against popular 'pro circ' belief, teenage boys don't sit around comparing penises. Fathers and sons don't either for that matter.
post #23 of 45
9/17/09 at 2:17pm
My DS is only 4.5, however he did notice a very slight difference between him and DH recently. I can't remember the exact details about the conversation, but when I explained that Daddy had his foreskin cut off his response was "ow! but why??"

I have also dated a guy who was intact (he was 28 at the time). He never experienced any teasing at all growing up.
post #24 of 45
9/17/09 at 3:01pm
I asked my 27 year old brother and apart from being weirded out about talking to me about it he said he never had one problem and was actually pretty promiscuous in college so apparently no girls had a problem with it either.
post #25 of 45
9/17/09 at 3:04pm
Brendan seen many adults circ'ed and some of his peers including one of his cousins .

He actually called a circ'ed penis an owie when he had first seen one on a kid but he seen plenty adult wise under 2 but only focused it on it that one time.

Now he says I see some kids cut & some who are not .

he also ask why do they do that ?

By the way my son Brendan is 5 and intact so far no teasing of his foreskin and he's like more interested in where is my winky asking if i got it cut off lol

I go no no
post #26 of 45
9/17/09 at 3:13pm
My son's are almost 12 and 8 - they have noticed the difference and asked, I've very gently explained that some parents choose to have the foreskin removed - they were both horrified "But mom, that would hurt!!!" Tell your husband it is a lot easier to explain that you didn't have something cut off than to explain you did. Kids really get it right off, and in our current culture diversity is for the most part fine - further, it is just NOT OKAY anymore for any teen male to comment on another teen male's penis - it would be the kid making the comment who would be ostracised, not the kid with the foreskin.
If your son ultimately decides he wants to be circumcised, that can still happen. But what if your son were circumcised and decided he didn't want to be? It can never be taken back, and even though some men restore it is just not the same.
post #27 of 45
9/17/09 at 3:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post
When do other males really look at each others penises anyway?
Well, let's see...

1) When dads or male babysitters change a baby boy's diaper.
2) A male medical professional examining a male patient.
3) Gay/bi/curious guys being intimate.

I can't imagine a teenaged babysitter teasing the baby he's watching, a teenaged boy being teased by a medical professional, or too much teasing going on in an intimate situation.

As explained above, guys do NOT check each other out in the locker rooms, and if they accidentally catch a peek they don't admit to it.
post #28 of 45
9/17/09 at 7:53pm
I haven't read any responses, but my son is almost 13, in middle school, has been in gym for 2 years now, spent the night at many kids houses and has gone on band trips where they did shower etc. after playing in the ocean.

These are the things my son says.

1. NO ONE looks at each others penis'. Sadly so many kids are still ridiculous and homophobic that if they teased someone about being intact, the one who pointed it out would probably be ridiculed for being "gay". Sad, but that is worse in the teasing department.

2. No one cares. My son has mentioned to kids that he was intact, and they were like "cool".

3. My son is glad that "no one cut off my penis".

4. I have a 3 month old son and while debating circ with my DH (new husband), my son said "stay away from his penis, it is not yours, you can't decide, I don't look at my dads penis so why would he be looking at yours".
post #29 of 45
9/18/09 at 12:07am
My brother is 18. I am 30 so I watched him grow up.

I asked him recently if he has been teased or talked about in the locker rm. (He is a football player)
He said no way. A guy wouldn't be caught dead looking at another guys junk. His words, not mine
post #30 of 45
9/18/09 at 12:35am
DH, who is intact, grew up in middle Tennessee at a time when the circ rate was much higher than it is today. He was on swim and wrestling team and spent plenty of time in the locker room. Never had a single comment in the locker rooms or elswhere. He was also the "naked" guy at the parties in college. Not a single person ever said anything about his penis then either.
post #31 of 45
9/18/09 at 12:37am
Quote:
Originally Posted by phrogger View Post
I haven't read any responses, but my son is almost 13, in middle school, has been in gym for 2 years now, spent the night at many kids houses and has gone on band trips where they did shower etc. after playing in the ocean.

These are the things my son says.

1. NO ONE looks at each others penis'. Sadly so many kids are still ridiculous and homophobic that if they teased someone about being intact, the one who pointed it out would probably be ridiculed for being "gay". Sad, but that is worse in the teasing department.

2. No one cares. My son has mentioned to kids that he was intact, and they were like "cool".

3. My son is glad that "no one cut off my penis".

4. I have a 3 month old son and while debating circ with my DH (new husband), my son said "stay away from his penis, it is not yours, you can't decide, I don't look at my dads penis so why would he be looking at yours".
awesome!
post #32 of 45
9/18/09 at 3:45pm
Neither my intact dh or my intact ex-bf (both in their mid-20s now) were ever teased because of their circumcision status. The circumcision rates are MUCH lower now than they were when either man was born so I would imagine that the chance of being teased would be even lower for boys born now.

Dh also doesn't "match" his father and it was never a big deal at all. Both he and I are very glad that his parents left his genitals alone and didn't alter them before he could either object or give consent.
post #33 of 45
9/18/09 at 4:40pm
I wanted to add that I asked ds1 about this, and he not only said that nobody has ever mentioned it, but that none of his friends have ever seen it. He says there isn't time to shower between classes, so "the guys" don't see him naked. He also says, as others have mentioned, that if someone did happen to see his penis, there is no way they'd comment on it, because then they'd have everyone their case for "checking out another guy's junk" (junk...why "junk"?).

My ex (circ'd) and I split up when ds1 was 7. At that time, ds1 was still non-retractable. He never once mentioned the difference between him and his dad, except to ask once why daddy had hair down there. I think he was about 2.5 at that time.
post #34 of 45
9/19/09 at 11:32am
Teasing is a total myth. I spent all 12 years of grade school in a boys only boarding school with totaly open, communal showers. One could not help but notice everyone else's status. In elementary school everyone looked, and the only comment that I recall was from a friend, at age 6, wondering why we were missing our foreskins. We had both recently discovered that other boys had something that we did not, and were quite horrified at the realisation that a piece of our penis had been cut off. Homophobia did not appear on anyone's radar until high school. I never witnessed one comment or teasing based on circumcision status. It was just accepted that there were two kinds of penis.
post #35 of 45
9/20/09 at 7:34pm
My son is only 9.5 so I guess he doesnt count, although he is VERY proud of his penis and hasn't been made fun of at all.

My exes 2 brothers are intact and niether has ever been made fun of. They're adults now, in their 20's.
post #36 of 45
9/21/09 at 8:56am
My two intact sons are adults now, and neither of them was teased for it. And we live in the circ-happy Midwest!

Keep in mind that the circ. rate is lower now than it was when we were young, so your ds will have plenty of company.
post #37 of 45
9/21/09 at 12:19pm
My DS is 17. Hi has never noticed that him and Dad were different. When he was about 8ish (can't remember the sure age) he did ask me why his penis was in the inside and friends was on the outside. I told him that some parents feel like it is best to remove the skin that covers the penis when their boys are born but we thought it was best to leave it alone. He made a face something like this and said you mean that they cut off part of friends name penis I said yes and he seemed to think that was a very bad idea to say the least.

As he has gotten older I have asked if anyone has ever said anything to him and he assured me that anyone talking about and admitting that they noticed someone else penis would be the one made fun of not the owner of the penis.

He dates, he plays sports, has been caught skinny dipping and does pretty a normal teenage boy stuff with out being ostracized by his peers. He has also never, never expressed a desire to have his foreskin removed
post #38 of 45
9/21/09 at 1:00pm
I asked my 15 yr old this before replying to a post elsewhere. He said he doesn't know if his friends are cut and he doesn't think they know that he isn't. He doesn't see it as a big deal.
post #39 of 45
9/25/09 at 1:09pm
Thread Starter 
I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone for the replies! I certainly agree with those that have mentioned that this certainly wouldn't qualify as a reason to circ a child; I just wanted to ask the question to have my bases covered. And now I do! Thanks again - it was nice to hear from the men too on this issue!!
post #40 of 45
12/2/09 at 4:13pm
Thread Starter 
Just wanted to update to say that DH and I discussed again, and he has agreed to no circ He said it just isn't that important to him either way, and I seem to feel strongly, so we're going to not circ if this one is a boy!! I'll update y'all again in 15 weeks or so
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