My DD, two years and three months, is going through an incredibly bossy, possessive stage. My goal is to respond to her in a way that validates what she is feeling, doesnt guilt her but helps her to understand that there are certain ways to interact with people. The thing is, it is so difficult to uncover what she is feeling and to explain to her in a way she can understand why it's not ok to talk to people like that. I am often at a loss on how to respond to her when things happen. I talk about emotions with her a lot, mostly just angry and sad emotions right now, but sometimes feel that I might be confusing her more with all the talk about emotions and maybe actually causing her to dwell on anger. Example,
We will be at the store looking at books and she will suddenly scream angrily at a random person telling them "you can't look at these books !"
Or at a party and she will run up to someone and tell them "I dont want you to stand here "...or something like that.
What is the best way to respond to her when she does this ?
I have been telling her, that it's not "nice" to say that to people and that they are our friends and we want them at the party, or that the books are there for everyone to look at. I might say, "did that make you angry that the man was looking at books ?" and I do often ask her to apologize.
Is there a better way I could respond ? What I am doing just seems so ineffectual and I often feel like a bumbling idiot trying to reflect back to her what she is feeling. For some reason I feel telling her it's not "nice" might make her feel bad about herself and doesnt really give her enough information.I need a better way.
How do I honour what it is she feeling ( not really sure what that is ) and help her to understand that she cannot just randomly yell at people like that without making her feel bad about herself ?
Sorry if this is all jumbled and not making sense..I am having a time articulating my thoughts right now...
We will be at the store looking at books and she will suddenly scream angrily at a random person telling them "you can't look at these books !"
Or at a party and she will run up to someone and tell them "I dont want you to stand here "...or something like that.
What is the best way to respond to her when she does this ?
I have been telling her, that it's not "nice" to say that to people and that they are our friends and we want them at the party, or that the books are there for everyone to look at. I might say, "did that make you angry that the man was looking at books ?" and I do often ask her to apologize.
Is there a better way I could respond ? What I am doing just seems so ineffectual and I often feel like a bumbling idiot trying to reflect back to her what she is feeling. For some reason I feel telling her it's not "nice" might make her feel bad about herself and doesnt really give her enough information.I need a better way.
How do I honour what it is she feeling ( not really sure what that is ) and help her to understand that she cannot just randomly yell at people like that without making her feel bad about herself ?
Sorry if this is all jumbled and not making sense..I am having a time articulating my thoughts right now...
